The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for February 8 speaks about wanting everybody to like us and be our friend. If this does not happen we often end up feeling hurt, disappointed and "less than".The words spoken at the closing of an Al-Anon meeting are very helpful to listen to and absorb. They are "though you may not like all of us,you will love us in a very special way. The same way we already love you." This is an important lesson. We can see reality and accept that we cannot have everybody's friendship but that we can offer respect, support, understanding and patience to all .
Today's reminder tells us that is unrealistic to expect everyone to like us. We must change our expectations and not set ourselves up for failure. Since we cannot change others, we must can change our own attitudes
The quote for today is from Oscar Wilde; "to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
Thank you Betty for the daily! I must admit that I did not join Al-Anon for friendship or fellowship even. I came because I wanted to know how to fix my son!!! Ha.ha.ha.ha.
I believe since I had experience with recovery already, I knew that finding friends was not my intent. I am in the program and seek recovery and meetings are in support of that. If I find folks I align with and we become friends, that's cool by me. If I don't, that's OK too - what binds us is our common personal objective of serenity and recovery.
I have always loved the principles before personalities slogan. I can readily say that I've united in fellowship with folks from all different walks of life that would not have had the pleasure of meeting if it weren't for our recovery program. I always try to be respectful and kind as I remember vividly how much pain I had when I arrived, and those who came before me accepted me as I was without any judgement. It felt so 'warm' and 'good' to be me, broken and frail, and be accepted exactly as I was.
Love that quote and embrace it openly today. If someone had said that to me when I first arrived, I would have not liked it and certainly would not have thought it possible. Al-Anon has given me self-love and self-respect that I didn't even know I was needing/missing.
Grateful for you, the program and MIP! Happy Monday.....loving that I am returning to 'my normal'...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I was one of those who thought that everyone who crossed my path had to be my friend. But today as I have been thinking about this topic I realize that not everyone has to like me. I may seem awkward weird even strange to some people but I believe that I am a precious child of God & he meets me where I am warts & all. So when I think of myself & others I realize that people do need respect love & kindness just like me. I am truly blessed & want to share w anyone who will listen.
Though you may not like all of us you will love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you. such powerful words and so very true. I have found that the people whom have crossed my path in this program are quite often not people that I would normally befriend. BUT I have come to love them in a very special way, only because of the road we have all travelled, although everyone's is different there is more similarities then differences. It is a unique relationship and the sense of being understood and heard is like no other. Until you have experienced the turmoil of addiction in your life you simply cannot relate on that level. I am so thankful for this program.
-- Edited by serenity47 on Monday 8th of February 2016 09:38:49 PM
An add on .. one of the things we learn in alanon (sometimes) is that what we judge in another is often in us (or used to be if we have worked through our 4th etc .. ) .. realized some time back if there is something in me i don't like and another comes along with the same chances are i will not like it in another either .. unless again of course i have worked through it . then ? it doesn't bother me if it's in another; bothers me only when it's in me .. a family member comes to mind in this .. when everything i judged in this person was healed in me .. we were able to again be friendly with each other .. (the steps work in 'us) .. and vice versa .. if i have something in me another doesn't like chances are they won't like me much either until they work through their own areas in need ..
Since there were SO many unhealed areas in me when i first came into recovery; there was a pretty good chance that some maybe many did not like (what was in me) .. just what it was .. has changed some the more my areas change but either way .. yes they loved me and i in return loved and still love .. them ..
really it isn't about the other person (as we would like to think .. reflecting on how many of us come in to change another person) .. etc .. the other only leads us through the door .. we stick around for 'us ..
