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Post Info TOPIC: First world problems.


~*Service Worker*~

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First world problems.


Well, I'm finally able to hobble around without crutches and that's a very good feeling!! I have to be very careful not to over-do it which is difficult because I am so sick of taking it easy and I am itching to get out for long walks in the summer breeze! But oh well.

The whole debacle has set me back by six months as I was not able to attend summer school classes and felt I would go mad stuck in the house doing still more online subjects in this room that I had come to consider a dark vile prison. However, a couple of weeks ago I started writing a new novel after several years of chronic writers block and now, I'm due to start live classes next week and I don't want to go! I want to stay here in my former prison-now delightful writing studio- and write my book! Lol. It's testament to how much recovery work I still have to do because I am literally never happy with what I am doing and seem to set myself up really. But I am sure I will find a balance and everything will work out just fine.

Financially we have adjusted to me not working because, hallelujah, face-ache is required to pay almost twice as much child support now that our beautiful girl has reached the age of 13 (arbitrary but, I'll take it) and things have become easier. I am working at developing a side business but it requires networking and confidence and feats of bravery that I am not sure I am yet ready to master. But we will see. I wish people would just pay me to read tarot, I could do that all day long. In a little tent in a market somewhere, with a crystal ball and a smoke machine under the table, lol. Dreams are free.

Anyway abf called me last night and he was as jober as a sudge, which I find intollerable but it's easy to become busy and have to go, sorry, when it's on the phone. 

My my, wasn't he full of plans. He announced that firstly, I am right about his aches and pains and health woes being to do with his liver because he hasn't had a drink for weeks and he felt fine and now he's been drinking for 2 days and suddenly he is in awful pain and blah blah. Yep, no surprises there but, good that he is able to accept that drinking might be harming him I guess. His skin is all yellow around his eyes again and he babbles like a fruitcake when he drinks so, things are getting grim in there but he loves his drink and that's not mine to challenge. I just cannot live with it.

So anyway he then announces that he is applying for a job around the corner from me and that when he gets it he's going to move in here for 2 months until he saves enough for a car (but keep paying rent to his brother) and when I took the bait and said 'but how is that fair to me, your brother gets weekly rent for an empty room and I get what? And he says with terrible hurt in his voice "You get ME. I thought you'd be happy". Mhhm. 

He then went on to inform me that his brother is going to be moving to a smaller place in 5 months and he is going to move in here and we can find a place together.

I started to get upset over these plans because I know what is coming next, the ultimatum I have heard I think literally 7,000 times...if I don't live with him he will move to a galaxy far far away and I will never see him again.

And then I thought, this is just so unproductive. The man is too drunk to even remember this conversation and meanwhile here I am getting myself into a great big flap about things that will probably never, ever happen. And then I thought, there's always 2 possibilities in these scenarios anyway...it's 50% likely he is telling me this so that I will baulk and say NO WAY and he can then play the "poor me, I wanted to try but you rejected me because you're a giant mean heart breaking monster" game for a while. I mean I don't know what the reality is, so why give it any mind at all? Although when he is sober I will need to set him straight. This place isn't big enough for my daughter and I let alone another adult, so everything else aside, that truth stands on its own. No way.

So that's my exciting little world right now. I've just driven daughter to a party and it's a lovely sunny Saturday afternoon, and I am torn between studying the hands down most boring subject on the planet (I have an exam in 2 weeks) or, writing my book and leaving study for another day when I feel more like it (as if LOL). And if that's the worst crisis I am facing right now then, I have a lot to be grateful for

Thanks for reading.

(((everyone)))



-- Edited by missmeliss on Friday 5th of February 2016 11:36:00 PM

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)



~*Service Worker*~

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I love you Mel you put me to sleep laughing:)

((((((( melly)))))

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~*Service Worker*~

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Nice update Ms.M. Love your new Avatar. I know when I have the "I do not want tos" I pray abo it ask hope to lift tis (negative will) and gie me the dsisre to show up and od the next right thing. By the way, I am sure that book will be a best seller so keep chipping away --

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Love hearing your updates MissM and love that you are writing!!!



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 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



Veteran Member

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You truly have a way with words, and I'm so glad you choose to use those words with us!biggrin  Keep writing, as Betty said, it will be a best seller!!



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KathyRN

"A PROBLEM IS ONLY A PROBLEM, IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM!"



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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(((MissMel))) - how fun that you are writing a novel - that just sounds so fun/cool! So sorry that your 'ouchie' has affected schooling, perhaps this was a nudge to take a break and write? Who knows but I see you taking the time available as a result of the accident and using it in a great way! Keep up the good work girl.

As far as the A, we all know that they all do what they do when they do it. The best part of your story is that you used your program to change what you did and used it to realize how it really wasn't your issue/problem/crisis. I love when I see the program in action and your write-up here shows me that. What a great way to start the day!

Huge hugs - positive thoughts and prayers for continued healing!! So glad you are doing something you love to do!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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I missed that you had an accident and now are hobbling around. Praying you are on the mend quickly. Sending you love and support always.

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 554
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Hi MissMeliss I am also glad you are on the mend. Sounds like you handled it well. My AH gets full of plans too when he has been drinking. And I would get myself in a tizzy over some of them to find he forgot them or shrugged them off the next day. I remember my AH once said we were going to sell the car and start taking public transit everywhere so we could save money. He was drunk of course but I didn't realize what was going on. I was furious. I stayed up all night worked up about this thought that we wouldn't be able to manage without our car. I got my argument ready to keep the car and discuss with him why when he got up in the morning. I actually sat up at the table most of the night. He came down and I started talking about it and he said "What are you talking about of course we need the car". That to me is the insanity of this disease. I missed a whole night's sleep over his drunken decision to get rid of the car LOL. It took me YEARS to figure out what was going on. Glad to hear you recognized it for what it was and didn't get worked up about it.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1887
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Had to smile KT- going back 2 years or so, when I still lived with my A, our water supply was cut off due to non payment. Horrified, I paid the bill immediately and had it reconnected. I then endured an all night rant about how we "don't need water" because we "live at the beach" and we can bath in the ocean and shower in the public toilets and I was a FOOL to pay the bill, and because I had done such a "stupid thing" (paying the water bill and then not having any money to lend him to buy beer that night) I had forfeited the money (several thousand) that he owed me and he would not be paying rent or bills ever again and blah blah blah. I fell for it and he went awol that night so I agonsed for days over how i would manage now with the added financial burden he had announced..
When he came back he sheepishly handed me half of the sum of the water bill I had paid and an apology and he was very prompt with his half of the bills after that.
Honestly, it's exhausting just remembering it.


__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)

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