The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This year I tried something different, weird word - spatchcocking - which means cutting the breast in half and splaying the turkey out, rubbing it with oil and spices and baking it. Note to self: buy a bigger shallow pan! Baked turkey at 425 for 30 mins then 350 for remainder of time (155 degrees) (yeah I know, should be a bit higher) Note to self: next time cover with foil after about an hour to keep tips from burning. Note to self: cook to internal temp of 160 before removing from oven.
I also tried brining my turkey, soaking it overnight in a mixture of salt, water and apple cider - the white meat, which is usually dry and unappealing was really good but the true test for me will be in the cold white meat leftovers. Note to self: buy food grade bucket for brining next time, turkey barely fits in vege drawer!
I used to hate holidays like this, because of all the "have to's" involved - having to do this this and that and smile sweetly all the while, accepting all the insults and barbs with a grin because its a holiday and we all should try to be nice (funny how WE means just ME has to be nice.) Now I love the holiday because it is what I want it to be. I am usually sick with a cold (school bus driver job hazard) and this year no different.
Dinner was great, everything hot at the same time, full too fast, stuff put away and now its bedding down to Planes Trains and Automobiles - yeah, I'll go to sleep - but that's the point eh?
Happy Thanksgiving everyone - I am thankful for peace in my life, income to buy me feast, heat the house, pay for internet streaming video and the pillow and blanket that will very soon envelope me and whisk me to dreamland.
Cheers Fellow Travelers!
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Hey likemyheart - sounds lovely!! I too decided to do things different this year. For the first time in 53 years, I stayed at my own house and cooked a meal for me, AH and whomever wanted to come. I opted to cook 2 3 lbs. each breast only - skinless & boneless....
I brined them overnight in salt, vegie broth, water & spices. I then make a rub that I used all over them and cooked them in a Dutch Oven. I went for 325 degrees for the first hour covered and then upped it to 375 for the last 45-50 minutes (160 degrees).....
They were very good! Like you, the true test will be how they taste for sandwiches but I'm too full to try that tonight...ha.ha.ha.
What I learned today by listening and using my Al-Anon tools is that:
1. My AH believes our boys have the issues because of all the family functions during their lives.....***I chose to not ask for any more information as the statement made me chuckle on the inside. Set aside that he's been sneaking, drinking, absent and telling lies their whole lives and blame it on my side of the family - OK....my tool used, "You may be right."
2. My youngest thinks it's OK to come to Thanksgiving stoned and that nobody will notice.....***I chose to ask if he wanted his pie first as he looked like he had the munchies. He just looked at my and said, "I don't know what you're talking about." I chucked outloud and said nothing further.
3. My oldest was a no show, which I expected. I did not reach out and invite them as they usually spend the holiday with his baby momma's family. Actually, they spend every holiday there - I'm only called upon when they want/need a babysitter. Then, I am dismissed.
My youngest and his brother have been spending a small amount of time together. That warms my heart as they have had their issues. I have always suggested they find a way to be civil if not close as based on the law of averages, they will have each other longer than they will have us.
So - the highlights of my chosen day.....
1. Very low-key - so much so that I cooked everything that we had in my jammies and got dressed when my boy was headed over (around 4pm).
2. Got to cook what we like and as much/little as desired.
3. Was not rushed, was not in a hurry, got to talk with some program friends as I went about my day.
4. I did not miss the extended family drinking, drama, etc. at all!
I am happy I was able to make a change, have peace with it and enjoy a calm drama-free day....
Peace to all!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for sharing! Hope you have a restful sleep. I, too, had a beautiful Thanksgiving that was completely different from last year. Last year I was walking on eggshells, walking around trying to appease my XAH and just get it all over with. It was awful and stressful and I was so damn tired of living that way and I knew I'd be walking out very soon after the holidays and I remember counting down the weeks until the New Year came about.
This year, my new boyfriend came over, he brought a pie and a small bottle of wine but he checked with me first to make sure my son would be Ok with us drinking it in front of him. I cooked a few simple basics. He also brought his black lab, Molly, and my son played with the dog and we all hung out together and relaxed at the dinner table. It was peaceful. We all laughed, we teased each other good-naturedly and everyone helped clean up. I haven't enjoyed a Thanksgiving for so many years. My life is so different today than it was just a short year ago. Amazing how things change, you know? And, it's all because of program and just doing the next right thing!
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
What a great Thanksgiving!!! It is so nice when things are so much more relaxed everything was this holiday. I like to try new things out in recipes.
We did something completely non traditional .. LOL .. we ate out .. no it wasn't home cooked however it was a lot of fun. Where we live there are a lot of little places around and so we walked over and had linner as the kids would say. They did not eat traditional food. We were caught in the rain walking back .. by the time we got back we were laughing and giggling at the mess we were. Headed back out after changing and got movies, and all that went with that .. spent the evening cuddled up talking, watching movies and a lot of laughing. We dropped off a store bought pie to some people who were working and teasing us that we were out .. it was something fun to do and I hope they enjoyed it on their break.
It was just nice .. we didn't have to be anywhere .. the kids were worried about where they should or shouldn't be .. it just is. Neither of them blinked at the obligatory text they got from their dad .. it was oh ok and they went from there .. I agree .. if someone had told me a year ago this is where we would be I wouldn't have believed them. This has truly been a very blessed year.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Sounds like all in all - it was a great day!! I find it so fascinating that stepping away from the traditional and 'expected' is a bit unnerving, but once we do 'it', it was pleasant and enjoyable. For me, this is but one miracle of this program. I would never have wanted/thought to do something vastly different before I arrived and began working the program and now it's almost like an adventure to do so...
All in all, for me, I different but lovely day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
What's left of the family got together out at the shoreline just outside of Hilo and we mixed, what's left of us without any gossip or tales about who wasn't there and why. I get to wonder is this really normal for us and then accept the usual response, "It is what it is". My wife did the cooking along with 3 of the other females in my family...not hers though she accepts and is accepted and while I offered my expertise and skills I was allowed to take the sofa and chill. We did good and God gave us sterling weather and ocean scenery as a back drop. We played some games using cards and a smart phone with APs which get us all involved. It was fun and the food was great as usual. I care that my wife isn't with her family of origin and am grateful that it is okay for her for now. We are a program family so we live the program. Mahalo Akua...Thank you God for generous blessings...oh and the pumpkin crunch put together by my grand-daughter who now has a name for the resident in her "bump". Daddy got to choose the name for this future "kane keiki" or male child. We will be looking forward to little Levi is due in April....Yay!! ((((hugs))))
Sounds lovely Jerry - prayers and hello(s) to baby Levi who is still 'baking in the oven'......can't wait until April!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
spent a casual and peaceful Thanksgiving at bro in laws without AH. He is not welcome there. Just bro in law,niece and nephew and 4 loving cats then joined later by family who shares the house and our family with their sweet 3yr old. good fun and SERENITY!
