The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just got back from the book store. Idk how to learn and apply the 12 steps. Is it via the books? If so what are your favs. Also, ive never been a spiritual person with God. I am Catholic but ive never found a connection. Im wondeting how hp is going to play a role with my journey. I know its a personal thing, but how has it happened for you? I dont want to sound ignorant but is it a voice or what...
I think I would describe myself as not religious. I went to Sunday school as a child but never really developed a relationship with God. For me now, as I'm still learning, I think I am more of a spiritual person. There is something for me about nature that tells me something greater than me is at work. When I stand on the beach and see the waves crash after a storm, or when the sunlight warms my face, and the trees shimmer and glow in the breeze, I can acknowledge that there is a force out there greater than myself that created all of these wonders that I can enjoy. On another level, do I hope that there is a God, or heaven, or in a eternal life? Yes I do. Because wouldn't it be lovely to know that there something better waiting in the future.
Sounds like want to work the programme. Meetings are the beginning of the learning or they were for me. Listening to others who have walked in your shoes. After a while i got my hp.x
Attending F2F meetings will certainly help you with understanding the disease, the program and the steps. If you happen to be in a location where there aren't any, you can certainly attend here - look to the top left and you'll find the meeting schedule as well as the link to the meeting/chat room.
Also, if you look to the top right, you can 'read' the 12 Steps and join another sub-forum of MIP where Betty (hotrod) posts a Step every 2 weeks and we share our ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) with each other on working the steps and thoughts.
Either of these might help you start your journey. Another great outcome of local meetings is that's your best bet to find a sponsor. A sponsor can help you with the program and steps too.
Keep asking questions - that's also the best way to move yourself forward. As far as the spiritual aspect of recovery - I too was raised Catholic and in organized religion. However, I never (for whatever reason) truly connected on a personal level with a higher power. I just didn't give much thought or effort, I went through the motions taught by my parents and schooling.
So for me, religion is organized group worship where spirituality is an individual journey to a peaceful place. Many use nature as a HP, others use the group as a HP, still others use the steps as HP, and yet others use God or a different source as their HP. This program doesn't suggest one is better than another, only that you believe in any power greater than yourself.
HTH!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Lisa Finding my HP and being able to hear the" still small voice within" took time. I do believe I had many "Spiritual Experiences in my lifetime that I felt, and understood but quickly dismissed as fleeting. When I entered program I was very angry with the God of my misunderstanding because of the direction my life had taken. I needed to redefine my HP so as to be able to work the program.
I saw how program worked and decided that the program and the principles could easily serve as my Higher Power. The program was a power greater than myself , that contained the tools to empower me with wisdom, serenity and courage that was enough for me to begin to trust the program and embrace the process.
As I worked the Steps, with a sponsor, I redefined this Power that is greater than myself and was able to look inward, quiet the negative voices and finally "hear the still small voice within"
The reason I began to work the Steps is because the 12th Step assured me that if I worked the Steps I would have Spiritual experience. I knew I needed this so I was willing to work toward it. I was not disappointed,
Program is a process. The Steps work We have a Step Board here where we share our ESH on each step and that helps to process the program. The steps are not done once and finished with it is an ongoing effort of recovery.Once I finished It was time to restart them again.
I found the simple slogans were great stepping stones to the steps
Let go and Let God encompasses the first 3 Steps.
Examine your motives and How important is it covered the 4th Step,
"Being Honest Open and willing" steps 5 through 11
Practice these principles in all our affairs Step 12
ODAT it gets better
I just got back from the book store. Idk how to learn and apply the 12 steps. Is it via the books? If so what are your favs. Also, ive never been a spiritual person with God. I am Catholic but ive never found a connection. Im wondeting how hp is going to play a role with my journey. I know its a personal thing, but how has it happened for you? I dont want to sound ignorant but is it a voice or what...
Absolutely nothing ignorant about any of the questions you pose ... I think many new to the program had the same or similar questions when they first got to AlAnon. I know I did.
As for learning the 12 steps ... it's a process, and you will need to find the one that works best for you. For me, getting a sponsor was the most important piece in beginning to work the steps. It is not recommended to try and work this program without one. The sponsor is simply someone who has worked the steps before you that can help you on the journey. The advice I got was to look for people at meetings that seem to have something I want. I found someone with a story similar to mine, and whose progress in his own recovery was obvious in listening to his sharing at meetings, and in getting to know him better through fellowship. There is no timeline for working the steps. I have been in the program just over a year, and am just starting to work the 4th step. Attending regular meetings has been critical to my understanding of the steps and how others have applied them to their own individual recoveries. The literature is the critical 3rd leg of the stool, if you will, for me. I have a couple books that go with me everywhere 'How Alanon Works' and a daily reader. When I find myself spinning, anxious, angry, or otherwise 'out of sorts', I will often start by finding some sections in the literature that may be pertitent to what I am feeling and try to slow the spin, and get myself grounded in the moment.
As for the spirituality piece, that is something you will truly have to find on your own. I was often reminded that AlAnon is a spiritual program and not a religious one, as I was very unhappy with the God of my understanding when I came to AlAnon. I have heard so many people provide such different understanding of who their high power is. I have heard some people talk about how for them, AlAnon meetings was where they found their higher power. They found the words and wisdom of their higher power in the sharing of others in the meeting. I heard an AA Speaker once talk about how his higher power was a Fish Delivery Truck that used to show up everyday at the same time outside his apartment building to deliver fish to the restaurant across the street. The program doesn't tell you what your higher power is, only that we need to find ours, and be prepared to turn over that which we cannot to control to that higher power. Your higher power will provide you with what you need in the manner you need it. I often feel as though my higher power speaks to me through others ... it's amazing how often I will hear exactly what I need to hear in the experience strength and hope of another member sharing at a meeting ... or even here. Sometimes I see the work of my higher power in things going on around me, in nature, in the seemingly 'random' things that occur, that as I reflect, seem less and less likely to be random or coincidence as I become more and more connected to, and trusting in, my higher power. For example, shortly after my wife was arrested and had checked herself into treatment, my daughter was expressing a desire to go see a new Movie that was coming out. We were broke ... bail ... legal bills ... medical bills ... etc made it impossible for me to be able to take her. Three days after that, I received a card in the mail from one of my employees who had seen the news of my wife's arrest on TV and wanted us to know she was thinking about us. I hadn't spoken with her, or anyone at work, and was taking some time off to get things stable at home, so she had no knowledge of anything other than we were going through a tough time. Inside the card she sent was a $40 Gift Card to a local Movie Theater. What a coincidence eh? Or was it? I believe it was my higher power, working through the thoughtful gesture of a caring employee, to provide to me and my daughter something we needed at that moment. I still get choked up thinking about it. That was a huge 'God Moment' for me, and it came very early in my recovery, as I was wrestling with the concept of a Higher Power and this program. I believe my higher power reaches me in the ways I need to be reached, when I need it. That's the best way I can explain it.
As you begin to work the program, work with a sponsor, attend meetings, and read literature, I think you will find that this concept becomes easier to grasp, as well the approach to your program that will work best for you.
Best of luck ... keep coming back to AlAnon ... it does work if you work it.
