The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this site, new to Alanon and new to the community I have just moved to. Feeling like I don't have much of a support network here yet. I guess I will introduce myself a bit...
I grew up in a home where my dad was an active alcoholic. He left and my parents split when I was around 8 years old. I honestly don't have a lot of memories of him from when he was there, but I remember that he wasn't the one at my dance recitals, or playing/reading to me- he was often just laying on the couch. I would ask if we could watch a cartoon together, and he would just put it on golf. It is only from more recent conversations with my mom that I have started to understand the impact it had on her and the family. We all started to shut off from the world. For her this continued for twenty years after he left, until she retired and could start over.
And now I find myself in a relationship with an alcoholic BF. The time spent with him and not only opened up wounds from my past hurt from my father, but also shown me how the disease of alcoholism is truly progressive. Life wasn't like this with him for the first year we were together. I am working on detachment, to learn not to react or manipulate and to only work on managing my own life- not his. It is challenging not to be angry or sad, or to isolate myself. I remind myself of the 3Cs often when I am around him. I am slowly working to chip away at Step 1 and cultivating my relationship with my HP. Once we are a bit more settled here, I will attend the meeting in person in town- but it is hard as BF is controlling of my time in the evening and I don't have a logical place to go just yet in this town. I don't have work yet, no friends yet and money for yoga or activities is just not in the budget at the moment.
Anyhow- if you read this far. Thanks for your time! I hope that this site will be of some comfort and release for me (you as well).
Welcome RavenGirl..This is a great place for folks who don't have alot of free time..Dunno anything about yoga but I bet there are some free classes online..The 3 c's are great when things are going well..
Thank you for sharing. I am also new to Al Anon. Our stories are very similar. I too grew up with an alcoholic parent and am now in love and in a relationship with a addict. I can tell you that the people I have meet here and their stories have helped me so much. I look forward to my meetings. I have not been to any on here but I now they have them. I usually go to about 1 to 3 meetings a week in person. I have gotten much needed support there. I also ready books like Courage to Change and One day at a time in Al-Anon. Please feel free to reach out to me or anyone else here. And keep coming back <3
Welcome RavenGirl to MIP - so glad you found us and glad that you shared.
You are not alone - there is almost always someone around 'here' which is better than no support. Actually, MIP has saved my backside time and time again, as F2F meetings are not scheduled when we need them! We welcome you with open arms and I am so glad to hear you've already found Al-Anon. You will find the courage and strength to become who you were meant to be by working the program, using the tools, getting a sponsor and managing through the steps.
If it helps, there are 2 meetings here each day. If you look at the top left of this page, you'll find the meeting times. There is also a link to the meeting/chat room. Great meetings, great people here and we're all after the same thing - recovery from the affects of alcoholism.
Keep coming back - we're just a post away! (((Hugs))) to you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome Raven Girl -- Alanon face to face meetings, steps and slogans will really help to resolve the pain from the past and provide you with new tools to live by
Keep coming back here as ell You are not alone
