The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for August 28 speaks about finding a sponsor in Al-Anon. It suggests that many of us have never dared to trust another person so that having the courage to reach out and ask someone to sponsor us is a huge step towards our recovery.
As the result of living with this disease, many feel we are not worthy of help so that having the courage to ask someone to sponsor us and then be accepted is a huge boost to our recovery.
Our sponsors will gently guide us through the steps and because we are desperate to feel better, we are willing to try whatever Al-Anon tool they suggest.
The reading goes on to suggest that working the program, sometimes we become frustrated that we are not making as much progress as we should, and this is when our sponsors can and will remind us that we are working hard and we are willing so we are walking the recovery walk and that it is happening within. They can see the changes. They can also remind of us where we were when me began the program and that we are worth saving.
We must learn to value ourselves and we can do this by finding and using a sponsor
.
The quote is from Reinhold Niebuhr; "nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love."
I know that in the beginning of my alanon journey, I could not allow myself to depend on another I am so grateful I was given the courage to walk through my FEAR because my sponsor taught we many powerful lessons of trust and appreciation of myself and the program
Betty, thank you for this mornings post. This is something I have not done, asked for a sponsor. Is it possible that one does not have to have one or need one? Feeling very helped and encouraged by everyone in Al-Anon, especially MIP and have not felt the need for a sponsor.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Hi Debbie, I found that I could talk to a sponsor about intimate deeply personal things,that I was not comfortable sharing at a meeting or with a large group This helped my recovery greatly as I was then able to begin to trust myself on a deeper level.
I guess if you do not feel the need that is up to you. I know alanon strongly recommends working the Steps with a sponsor because on our own we can get lost.
I would ask myself what my motives are in not using this tool and if you are satisfied with your answer then, this is right for you and go on and keep on keeping taking the next right action for you.
Thank you Betty...Boy sometimes I think you are in my head reading me. I have only been here a little under 2 weeks. I chat a little bit with one person from the meetings... and yesterday I questioned about a sponsor and even asked if she was interested. She then told me that a sponsor should have worked the 12 steps and something else I don't remember but she said she wasnt there yet. she said it took a while for her to find a sponsor. And I understood. I was scared to death to even ask..but if that's how i felt then maybe I am not ready for one OR maybe I desperately need one, ha
Betty, you raised a good question concerning if there is a motive on my part
not needing a sponsor! Maybe you can answer that question for me, cause
as I worked the steps, I posted them all on MIP. Do you think that I need to
have a sponsor? The reason I never asked for one because I felt so comfort-
able working the steps on my own, in group and here on MIP.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Debra Congrats on having the courage to ask someone. That is huge . Now just sit back and listen to each member who shares and see who you are comfortable with--- Then ask again.
Good work.
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 28th of August 2015 10:53:55 PM
Debbie as I stated, working with a sponsor helped me to dive deeper within to my hidden motives and resentments-- Ones I never realized were there- It was simply by talking and trusting that it happened.
If you are comfortable working without a sponsor please continue to do so.
I must add that having a sponsor and being a sponsor has been one of the most rewarding aspects of this program for me.
I have been told in other areas of my life that it helps you heal when you are able to help someone else. for instance, if you are needing encouragement, encourage someone else,.( which I see you do often). Perhaps in doing this you have helped yourself more than a sponsor could help you. Perhaps one of the reasons they recommend a sponsor because it helps the sponsor so much. You may not feel you need one but maybe someone needs to sponsor you? It seems like it is somewhat of a reverse thing? Just a thought.
__________________
"Feelings are never right or wrong, it is how you act on them."- Unknown
Caren, thank you! Did not occur to me, you know I can see how the reverse thing does help me alot, because I am reviewing in my mind for other's and sharing and by doing that I am always reviewing for me as well. Nice thought, Al-anon is reciprocal!! xoxox
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
