The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to the dentist this afternoon. My teeth have felt sensitive. Dentist told me I am grinding my teeth so much that they are cracking. He had to repair one. He told me to go to Florida and sit by a pool!
This put me in touch with my anger - at my AH. Of course it is HIS fault this is happening. Then the receptionist mentioned my AH had cancelled his appointment tomorrow morning.
I completely went off into my own fantasy world, mixed with a good dose of anger. I had him spending the day with the OW, not going to work, giving me some BS about it all. I went home from work early and festered about it, waiting for him to come home. This was it, I have had enough! I had him out of the house by 7pm.
He got home and I asked him about his appointment tomorrow. He said he cancelled the appointment due to pressure of work. I believe him. This was all in my head - anger coming through and a general feeling of being fed up with lies and deceit. i am still processing it - my imagination is alive and well!
Yeah ... for me one stinking thinking idea can hatch into another then another and before you know it I've got a whole littered brain. Then I'm in a place of obsession and who can concentrate under those circumstances. Sounds like you did what you had to do to take care of yourself.
Hope you weren't too disappointed when you found out you were wrong So much energy spent building up that big head of steam only to find out it wasn't how we thought after all. OMG, I have so been there lol (((hugs)))
Sorry about the stress and hope you'll do something nice for yourself before the day ends. You're worth it. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
BTDT also (Been There & Done That). I too can take one small 'piece' of a day and project crazy, crazy things. So wise of you to start with a question. Once the answer came, you changed gears as you believed the answer. Way to go for that.
This program has tooled me so that that stinking thinking can be stopped way sooner than before. Between the steps, fellowship and all the slogans, I do have the power to restart my day and/or restart my thinking. So grateful for that - it certainly is a gift to keep those crazies at bay.
So sorry you had so much stress in your day. I grind my teeth too and now wear a night guard. It does keep from my doing it but now my teeth are 'moving around' about from the force of pressure inside my mouth while I sleep. *Sigh* - who knew the energy put out while sleeping? Not me!
So glad you came here and shared - we get it - keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Billie, sorry you got caught up in the drama/chaos of the disease. It is amazing how our imaginations can short circuit when we are worried, tense and not feeling good. I do the same thing when I sleep, I clench my teeth and lots of recession. Dentist wants to make me one of those mouth guards, and I have been resisting because I have a hard enough time going and staying asleep with some plastic thing in my mouth. Oh well ... in the mean time I am working my program and each day get better and better.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
I told the dentist that I need to find the cause of the grinding, not wear a night guard. He thinks it is my work - work is my salvation at the moment!
Thank you for the well wishes and I think my point in all this is I am just beginning to see my part in the relationship issues. And yes - I have learned to start with a question rather than an accusation :)
On an amusing note I want to share with you all that a good friend of mine is likely going to work in the same place as my AH. I mentioned this to him yesterday. Today I have 20 questions over dinner about it. He is definitely concerned! Too funny. He wouldn't be if he didn't have a guilty conscience. Maybe karma is at work....that's not my call but I did find it a light note in an otherwise difficult situation.
Doh .. LOL about the friend I loved living in a small town there was always something.
All that stuff about the grinding is so psychosomatic with the amount of stress you are under. Can you listen to something relaxing or funny before you go to bed .. even just doing a mental check in with an A-Z gratitude list or even just 5 things at bedtime and 5 things in the morning to be grateful for .. whatever it is to help me relax.
Considering what you are going through it IS stressful and a whole lot of negative, however you can get through this by walking in the steps of others before you.
Big hugs .. S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I believe (just for me) that you can always tell an Al-Anon candidate by looking at the back set of molars. Mine have been gone for a long time...turned to powder by grinding and clenching them. Sad state of affairs for the Nonner but gold for the dentist. (((hugs)))
So much energy spent building up that big head of steam only to find out it wasn't how we thought after all. OMG, I have so been there lol (((hugs)))