The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I want to Thank you All for Lifting Me Up from Last week, I Feel More balanced today even tho still struggling with everyday Stuff... My Son Gave a Surprise (I have Laundry) Visit this Weekend, and After Sitting down with him and Spending some time Listening about his First Week as a College Freshmen, it has Just given my Heart Such Hope... Not that he did Anything Wonderful, but Just that he is Confident, Proud, Independent and he is Wearing it All over his Face...
I Worried being from a long line of Alcoholics on Both My Sides of the Family, and His on Both of his Bio Family's Sides, I just didn't want to Fail him as A Mom and Send him out into the World as the Mess I was at that Age... I had No Self Worth, No Self Esteem, No Desire to Do Anything but SURVIVE... That was It... And I Don't have Any Expectations that he will stick with his Major or He Wont, its that "He's Doing It!" He is Making Choices for Himself, and Being Responsible and Making Choices that will Shape the Rest of His Life... I Still Cried when He Left, but Again, its Happy Tears, Ones Of Pride, and Honor in Knowing I Helped Shaped this Young Man, that Carries the Largest Part of My Heart still to this Day...
And Because of that, I Thank Al-Anon... I have been Humbled More in these Last 6-7 Yrs then Ever in My Life, I Grew Up hard, and I Grew up Way to Fast and Knew Most things Kids My Age Didn't just because of Family Secrets... I was a "Street" Smart Kid not a Book Smart one... I Knew how to Survive, Just not Thrive...
When I Think of My ADad when I Was Growing up, I Can Look back with Compassion, Sympathy at times, Empathy, and Pride at moments... Do I Forget all the Wrongs, Nope... But I Do My Best to Remember all the Good times, the Right Times, the Happy Times... And I Pray I Taught My Son to Focus on these as well...
This Disease is a Killer... Can't be Understated at All... Because tho it has Killed Many I Love, it can Also Slowly Kills Each of Us if we Allow ourselves to Be "Used Or Abused by Other in the Interest of Another's Recovery OR NON Recovery!"
I have Tried to "Fix" Many In My Life over the Span of My Life, but I had Know Idea that "I" Was the One that Needed Fixed the Most, without a Healthy Minded Me... There is No Need to Reach to Fix others, and tho there are times I Feel I am On Top of My Game, it is Not My Place to Tell Others How to Be on top of theirs... Its My Job to Listen, and Allow them to Grow at their Own Pace, Regardless of How Snail Speed that is...
I Spent My Weekend at Our Camp Along the River, Reflecting, Embracing HP Time, Snapping Photo's of Critters and Much More... But the Best was Watching Healing Moments with My In Law's, (Also Effected by this Disease... Of Course!) I didn't have to do A Thing... I Just Offer My Place of Serenity (Our Camp) as a Safe Place for "them" to Work things Out if they Chose too, and Tho All Issues are Not Healed, It has Begun, and for that I'm Grateful to be a Witness...
When I Step Back, and Watch... Sometimes All the Over Analyzing, All the Over Thinking, All the Woulda,Coulda, Shoulda, Just Melts away and I Can Truly See that Healing Is Possible, Sometimes it just needs a HP Little Nudge. I know I am All Over the Place this Morning, but I'm Truly Just Over Joyed to have The Tools of Al-Anon at My Finger tips, and the Love of an Al-Anon Family on my Speed Dial... There is No Greater Gift then to Feel Love, even for the Unworthy at the time... And to Have a Program that Humbles me Daily...
Tonight I'm Off to an Al-Anon Friends house because she Wants to Make an Amends ... I Can't Even Imagine for WHAT! but I'm Showing Up :) She has Been in Program for over 30yrs... So When She Speaks... I Listen :) Wish Me Luck :)
You must be so proud and also relieved that your son is having such a wonderful new beginning being at college for the first time. Seems only natural to be worried as a mom especially with all the partying that tends to go on at campuses. Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion as you know. Your loving support of him is very evident and also your ability to let go and let him have his own journey. With that said, maybe practicing the principles of the program in your home has helped him very much to become the healthy young man he is today. Every reason to be proud :) As much as we've been affected by someone else's drinking, we can be equally affected by someone else's recovery if we keep an open mind.
Thanks for sharing. Glad you keep sharing your recovery here. I'm grateful for your wisdom. ((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
(((TT)))) I am So Very Proud... And I Honestly don't think I Could Feel it Deep within My Being had it Not been for the Love of this Program, and the Love of a HP that does Not Falter regardless of My Slips :) So Thank YOU For Being Here, and Helping Me Light the Way ;)
(((Betty))) Thank You... I Couldn't have Made it this Far with out YOU... You have been Such an Amazing Light In My Recovery that I'm Forever Grateful For :)
So glad you're in a better place - I am 'with you' on the gratitude for this program. Where would we be without it?
Be proud of your son - you've done a great job and he's on the right path. That's a testament to your program and hard work!
Grateful to be walking this path with you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
... I Can't Even Imagine for WHAT! but I'm Showing Up :) She has Been in Program for over 30yrs... So When She Speaks... I Listen :) Wish Me Luck :)
