The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One of my Al Anon friends that's struggling with an adult child situation (like me), told me a story the other day that I just had to share with everyone - her story gave me an instant shot of faith and hope - perhaps someone here can use a bit of that, too . . .
Her son is in his early 30s, lives across the country from her, and she has been working hard to practice detachment on a day to day basis - in spite of calls from her son complaining about no place to sleep when it's raining, he hasn't eaten in three days, one terrible thing after another, etc., etc. - my friend has managed to stay detached (financially), but as we all know, it's been a tough road.
So the other day my friend gets a call from a woman who apparently lived near her son, telling my friend that her son had stepped out in front of her car, in an apparent attempt to kill himself - the woman quickly reassured my friend that her son was OK - and it turns out that the woman and her husband were ON THEIR WAY TO AN AA MEETING !!!
They talked with my friend's son a bit, and invited him to go to the AA meeting with them - he went to the meeting, and went to another one later that evening with them. The Good Samaritans attempted to take my friend's son to a homeless shelter, but due to some kind of problem there, they offered him a room in their house, and he accepted.
Since then, a week or so later, my friend tells me that her son called her to say that he was going to a job interview - this is a guy that hasn't had a job in 12 years. And just today, she told me that her son not only got the job, but he has now been working 7 days straight, and even took on a few extra shifts.
There were a lot of other cars on the road that day, but for me, the fact my friend's son stepped out in front of THAT CAR, and that the drivers of the car were two folks on there way to an AA meeting, goes far beyond any chance of coincidence, or randomness, or chance - for me, it had to be an example of God's work - that's where FAITH comes in for me.
I've been wrestling with a lack of faith for a long, long time - I could handle "Let go", but I had problems with "Let God" - I didn't have faith that if I let go, God would handle the situation for me - when I heard my friend's story, I knew for certain that God was at work in this situation - I realize that my son's story may not turn out like my friend's story, but I am now absolutely, positively confident that God is working for good in my son's life.
Seeing what I saw, and believing what I now believe, gives me HOPE - I had almost no hope before - I had acceptance and I knew I was powerless - but now I have HOPE - I am careful to keep any expectations under control - but now I have HOPE.
As an added bonus, I have come to also embrace the "Expect a Miracle" slogan.
I hope that this story helps someone else on their journey - mine is far from over, but it's far easier with FAITH and HOPE.
I too thank you for sharing this story. What a testament to the miracles in progress we all are as a result of 12 Step program(s).
Very, very inspiring and a pleasure to read!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
LOL, just when I think I'm making progress, this disease finds a way to show me that I'm not as strong as I thought I was - after the tremendous dose of faith and hope I received about a month ago, it's now been a month of so since I've heard anything from my son, and all the old fears are creeping back into my head - I *know* all the stuff Al Anon has taught me about not jumping to conclusions and such, but I guess I got lazy or didn't give the disease enough credit - perhaps I let down my guard - like a car with a dead battery, I need a jump start - I've been praying for strength, going to meetings, talking with Al Anon friends, and doing my daily readings - but feel like I'm constantly having to catch myself when I start heading down the dark road - does it EVER get any easier?
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
TY - I've been where you are and most likely will be there again. I've just come to accept that worry is part of this disease when you have one who is or may be active. I've not heard from my son is almost 3 weeks, and I just have to keep turning my worry and my son over to God. It floats back into my mind and I just keep doing it over and over again.
(((Hugs))) - you are not alone! Keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I don't know if it gets any easier when it comes to our children. It hasn't for me and I believe my worry and concern for her will stay with me as long as I am alive. What has become easier is my ability to have moments of peace and clarity when I can stop the obsessing about her wellness or lack of it and simply just be. I treasure these moments as they fill up my gas tank for whatever lies ahead which of course I have no idea what that is. I do know that I will handle it with courage and grace to the best of my ability. Thank you for sharing the original post. I love the message of hope it brings and it brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks for reminding me about all that I've learned in Al Anon - and thanks for reminding me that for all of us it is progress not perfection - it still hurts me - a lot - but I'm back to dealing with it better now - thanks for talking me back off the ledge.
So what kind of car did you say that was TYankee? Just humor as HP gets to design the miracle and we get to participate or not. I love miracles...just love them and pray they remain on a daily basis. Great share ((((hugs))))
What a great story!!! WOW. I'm glad you're taking good care of yourself today. Sometimes this is a two steps forward, one step back process. The point is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and that is what you're doing! (((hugs to you)))
I needed to hear from others that it's this way for a lot of people on this winding, bumpy road - I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for you guys reminding me that I'm not alone and that my experiences are pretty typical - I pretty much spent my day today praying as I went about my "stay busy" activities - Please help me God, Please help me God, Please help me God, Please help me God, Please help me God, Please help me God - and He did - I got a brief text back from my son, "I love you too", so at least I know he's still alive - for today, that'll have to be enough - it sucks, but it could be worse - thanks everyone.
Hey TY - so glad you heard from your boy!! I know how those little efforts make all the difference!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
