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Post Info TOPIC: alcoholic is insane


Senior Member

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Date:
alcoholic is insane


I had to post this as the weekend is coming up and the alcoholic bf will be drinking tomorrow morning (works nights shifts) and I have to set up a plan to not listen to his insane talking and plans. I has plans in November to take out his RRSP and travel the world preaching the word of god and saving people. He says he will be gone for months at a time and I need to be prepared for that. Yaa, go, get out of my hair. That will be a blessing. Another grand plan of his is to become a preacher and save people from their sin. Another plan is to move and start a church and he will be the preacher of course. He can not even stay sober for a few days at a time. The longest he can stay sober is one week and he is drinking again. He will go non stop till the next day when he passes out and all he does is talk, talk and I sit and listen to the garbage. I at times have walked away and he has sat and talked to himself. Its so sad and sick. Yesterday, he got paid from work and I asked him if he will pay the bills and he said "I do every time do I not?" For some reason his comment just got under my skin but I did not react or start an argument. I just did not say anything. I kept saying to myself he is sick, sick, sick and I need to just let it go. I feel I am detaching from him and feeling like I do not care anymore. I am hoping that I can leave tomorrow morning and go elsewhere so I do not have to tolerate his drinking or behaviors. I am thinking of plan B so I can get out of the house and away from him. I can not tolerate his drinking and craziness another day. I keep thinking to myself what am I getting out of this? I need to work on myself more and get more self esteem and make a decision for myself. What else is there to do? tolerate this insanity? I have had enough...one day at a time. Thanks for listening.                    



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~*Service Worker*~

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Joker -

I remember all to well my Plan B days. I used to enjoy my home and peace while they were at work, at school, etc. and then plan for when they would return. I would go to the gym, go to a meeting/two, have coffee/meal with program friends, go to the grocery store, run other errands, etc. I did everything I could to avoid being there during the insanity.

I can recall that as I got closer and closer to the house, my car seemed to slow down as I anticipated what I might find. Working the program and learning how to take care of me and only be responsible for me gave me the freedom to reduce the anxiety of returning home. As I got healthier in this program, and relied on my HP for courage, strength and wisdom, I was better able to be 'here' and less reactive to what was/is going on around me.

In Al-Anon, you will be given tools to help you through all situations. Hang in there and try to focus on today while considering what you can do for you tomorrow. Avoidance was a great strategy for a while, but long-term, it became less beneficial.

(((Hugs))) to you - keep coming back and sharing!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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(((joker)) I agree getting out of the house is essential. Hopefully you can find an alanon meeting to attend and then you might be able to go for fellowship after. Positive thoughts on the way

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

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Posts: 274
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Joker, it sounds as if you are on your way. The delusional claims by my AW nearly drove me crazy, so i can relate. In Al-Anon, you can learn to detach with love. You don't have to stop loving or caring, to detach. You don't have to feel guilty for detaching from a sick person. If we make ourselves sick by NOT detaching, there are just more sick people in the world, more craziness and no one to care for any of us. Keep coming back and learning about all the little things you can do to help yourself through the process. It doesn't all come at once, and there may never be a single glorious moment where all the answers magically appear, but slowly you can learn to make the best next decision for yourself. Glad you are here.

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El infierno es la ausencia de la razón.


Senior Member

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Posts: 210
Date:

Oh how I remember the "grand plans" ugh....

Peace be with you my friend. I also understand how it feels when you want to be gone, but are afraid of what you have to face when you come home. I'm very sorry you are having to deal with this, but there is a way out. I promise.

you deserve peace and serenity and you can find it here and in the literature (as well as the meetings).

I used to resort to earbuds sometimes and he was so drunk he never knew. It was sort of pathetic, but it was a way to be in the house without having to hear the nonsense.

I've also heard a pastor say once that you can't hear God if you are always talking. Perhaps he would consider that since he is very focused on religious grounds right now. It's just a thought and not a suggestion because it is not appropriate for AlAnon members to give "advice".

The Serenity Prayer is also a very positive influence on my life....as it has become on my AH's life since he started working his program.



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There, but for the Grace of God, go I.



Senior Member

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Joker, your share brought back such a memory for me.

My AH was deep into his disease, using every minute of every day. Not working, just using in my basement and blathering on about his plans to walk across the United States with a cross and a message from God.

I actually wanted him to do it, as I thought this would be my "out" and my freedom.

Of course he didn't do it, because he was an addict - who didn't even walk around the block, let alone the country. My AH is a very good talker. But that is very rarely followed up with action.

I found with time that freedom lies inside of me, the program and most importantly within the love and serenity of my HP. I don't have to wait for him or anyone else to do something before I can have my own sanity, health and freedom back.

It's always been mine.

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I've got new tools, and I'm running with them!



Senior Member

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Posts: 290
Date:

Thanks everyone for your feedback. It's great to not feel so alone. I had a good laugh as the alcoholic behavior. Its insane and funny when looked at it from a detached perspective. Thanks for the laughs! I do not feel so alone knowing others have experienced this insanity!

       



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