Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Validated Myself


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 934
Date:
Validated Myself


Well I have started dating and it has been quite the experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and validate my emotions. I am also not people pleasing and expressing my needs. Well I have not made a connection, I am learning to speak up. I just had another experience with "I'm sorry you feel that way"...and I was finally able to express that I need to date a person who is empathetic and validating not someone who is dismissive and minimizing. Wow my needs are important because I made them important!!! I also did not feel guilt about expressing this need. Anyway, I told the other person that we were not a good match. I felt invalidated and needed to move along and I wished him well.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

You go girl !

((((( Truth)))))



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 934
Date:

I am so proud of myself. I don't ever want to be in a relationship with someone who cannot validate an emotion or connect on an emotional level again. When someone expresses an emotion to me, my common response is "I can understand how that would be upsetting, happy or whatever" ... I need that back!!!

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Nice work Truth Validating myself s a fantastic gift. So happy you have it in your tool box.

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

What a great post - thank you for sharing!!!

I am not where you are but am hopeful that one day - I'll get a mulligan....I admire your program in action.

Make it a great day!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Date:

In my marriage my feelings are dismissed and minimized and ah says his hurts are always so much bigger because of something I have done.  

 

I am so glad you are moving forward with good boundaries.  Stay strong and use the program!



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.