The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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level.
When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened In my Family Since :) Because, Even tho it isn't Perfect Progress... Its Still Progress at its Finest :) To Me
So when I got here, I was Saving Someone else, (So I Thought) Yet I Really wasn't ready to take the "Steps" seriously, I Wasn't Ready to Look that Deep into My Soul, and Truly didn't give it the All Girl Try until about year and half In to the Program... I Would do the 1..2...3... Waltz and Was Quite Comfy there ;) Then I Decided that the Only way to get thru was to Go for #4... I Struggled for Months with it, dredging up the Past, Remembering all the Hurt, Pain, Scary Nights, Fear, Until Some Wonderful peeps here said... Well Also Don't forget to Add the GOOD Stuff... By then I Was Unsure there was Any, Since I Was Feeling the Weight of the ICK...But I Pushed ON... And WOW, Doors, Windows & Cracks began to Open up, and Things Became Less Fearful, Less Scary, Less Hurt, and More Wonderful.... BECAUSE... I Decided to "Take Care of ME!"
During this Transition, A lot of My Afamily Quit Talking to Me because Taking Care of Me, Which Meant No Longer Taking Care of them, I Still Love them All, And Some Have Come back around, but Some are Still a bit Standoffish, and that's ok... I Still Love & Care for them, Now I Just do it From afar :)
On Oct. 28 2010... I Drank My Last Drink of Alcohol.... Wooo Hooo.... It Was Tough to admit I had a Problem because I was what some would say was a Functional Drunk... I Worked, Didn't drink in front of My Child, Drank at Night after he was In Bed, or When he was at an Over night with one of his Aunts or Nanny... But Getting Sober Meant... I TRULY Had to Keep the Focus On Me, Because if Not I would be a Fast Sinking Ship... :/ But I Did it...
My ASister started to pay attention to my Happiness, Contentment, and Power to Push thru even the Darkest of times, So I Bought her the C2C Book and Gently told her to Read it, (Mind you as Kids we where not Close, she is 4yrs older and always knew everything)...lol Pushing thru till last year... She Too has been Sober, for over a Year... Not In Recovery, BUT... She got Sober and she was an Every other day kinda Drinker, but in her Eyes, She was Never an Alcoholic cause she drank Beer, and just did it to be Social....lol YEP... Heard that MANY Times ;)
Now... Just back a Few Months, My Mom has Now Decided that She too "Thinks" she will Quit Drinking... I believe for her its been about a month, and I don't know if it will stick, but I'm still Proud of her, Also Not In Recovery...
NOW... I Don't Take ANY Credit for their Success at this Disease, tho My Asister Tries to give it to me... I Believe that the Changes I Made In MY Life, For ME, Truly Shows thru, I Believe that when People Can See your Happiness, your Desire to Be Better, and when I Started to Believe in Myself, It then Encourages others to look harder at them selves...
So... My Baby Brother that I Was Here to Save... ;) He Still Drinks, HOWEVER... He has Stopped Laying in the Bars, He Got Custody of his Children, AND has Very Much Slowed his Drinking down And After Going almost 20yrs without a License, he is Making Steps to Get them back NOW... He has Stayed out of Trouble for the Last 5yrs since Getting his Kids, and I Can Now See Great things for His Future :)
You Might wonder WHY I Chose to Share this with all of You... and the Answer to that is Simple :D (But me being long Winded don't help :)
WELP :P
I am Living Proof, It Works if you Work it, I am Living Proof that If you Push thru the Pain, you Push thru All the Things that have been Holding you Back, or have the Strangle Hold on Your Dreams... and You Keep a Positive attitude for your Outcome... WELL... You Just Might see All the Wonderful Gifts HP Has Laid before you... You Just Might See How Worth it You Are... and When you See it, So does those Around you... Nothing in Life Comes Easy, But if it Did... Just what Fun Would that Be.....
I have Learned Many things about ME... I LOVE Photography, and Taking Pics of Nature (Which I Now MAKE Time for Not Excuses), I Love to Draw (Never Knew I Could), I Taught Myself How to Crochet, (Something I have always Wanted to Learn Since My Grandma passed about 27yrs ago), I Love to Just Be STILL and Sit on the River Side for No Reason at all, I Learned I LOVE to Kayak...I Learned that Sometimes Extending the Olive Branch Means, Handing Someone a Meal they Can't get for themselves with No Expectations Attached brings me Peace as well... I've Learned that I AM ENOUGH... All of Me, Even the Sketchy Parts, Is Just As they Should be.... I Learned how to Say NO, Without Explaining WHY (that wasn't easy), I Learned that Expectations of Others, Only ends in Disappointment, So Now what I Do for Others, Has to be Expectation FREE...These Are ALL things I Never Allowed Myself to do, Because I Was To Busy, Being in the Middle of Everyone else Life, that I Wasn't Living Mine... But there this is Only the Short List :)
Wishing you all A Beautiful Weekend Full of Blessings by HP's Hands... Thanks for Letting Me Share :)
Lovely photo - you are right - you do great with photography!
Thanks for sharing your ESH - stories like this are so important for us all to realize that hard work is rewarded.
Congrats. on all your progress and how exciting that others 'saw change' and made changes. That's the miracle of the program that we hear about!!
Make it a great night!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you all :) And Ms (((((BETTY))))) I Always Find a Way to get you a WELP :D
I Want to Add about the Photo :)
Me & Some Fellow Al-Anon'rs Went on a Spirituality Weekend out of town, Beautiful Place and 2nd Time a Group of us Went, I tend to wonder thru the Woods By myself ALOT, and this weekend was No Different, Its I Great Place to Talk to HP and Feel the Presents of :) So I am in LOVE with this Bird, have been for Years... and the Year before I had went there and Got a Pic of 2 bluebirds in the Snow, (If i Can find it I will share as well) it is One I Hope to put to canvas soon ;) but I Went back to thee very spot I Found them, and talked with HP, and Said "I am Ready for what you have for Me, No Matter what it is" with in moments, this Beauty Showed up... No Snow this Time, BUT, Just as Beautiful... Things Like this is How MY HP Talks to Me, When I Surrender, I am Open to Accept ALL Things... Including Blue birds :) I Plan to make a Shirt for the Ladies that Shared this Trip with me, Using this Pic ;) So It Does Mean So Much to Me, and Thank you the Complements, I am a Constant Work in Progress, but I'm Grateful HP has Showed Me... I CAN DO ALL THINGS.... Thru those that Strengthen Me... and HP Is Always Right by my side ;)
Just like My MIP Family... I am Forever Grateful for ALL the ESH & Love here.... You ALL Keep Me Inspired by your Strength & Love Which Gives me Courage to be Who I Want to Be... So THANK YOU :)
And After Going almost 20yrs without a License, he is Making Steps to Get them back NOW... He has Stayed out of Trouble for the Last 5yrs since Getting his Kids, and I Can Now See Great things for His Future :)