The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for May 25th speaks about the destructive tool of" denying" reality and goes on to point out that denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism.
Alcoholics often denied their drinking problems and many of us who have been affected by this disease,also deny our problems as well. The reading details that many of us have been living in chaos, worried about our families. spiritually, emotionally and physically depleted and we have pretended that everything is fine.
This is a perfect example that not only the alcoholic needs a program of recovery but we do as well. At Al-Anon meetings we are encouraged to be honest, open and willing, in order to recover. When asked how I'm feeling it is very freeing to be able to say the truth and let go of the habit of denial.
The quote is from the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage :"We can say what we mean only if we have the courage to be honest with ourselves and with others."
When I first entered the Al-Anon rooms and began examining my motives , asking myself why I said what I said and did what I did ,I was amazed to discover that from childhood on I had been encouraged to deny my reality and to pretend all was well and not to let anybody know how I felt.
My family of origin still does the same. I have asked my sister why she doesn't say that she does not like something or does not feel well and her answer is the same as mine once was "I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings". That was how we grow grew up--- make yourself invisible and take care of others otherwise you are selfish and self-seeking.
It is very importantto my recovery that Al-Anon suggested I examined my motives and keep an open mind. I then found that prior to connecting with my husband and the disease of alcoholism, I had my own set of insane ideas about interacting with the world and I needed a program of recovery myself.
I am so glad that I've learned to detach, keep the focus on myself and my needs and say what I mean, mean what I said without saying it mean.
The courage, serenity, and wisdom to live life on life's terms has been a great gift.
