Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Hello I'm a new member
Post Info TOPIC: Hello I'm a new member
scoob09


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Date:
Hello I'm a new member
Permalink  

Hello,

I am a new member to here and quite new to al anon. I have two adult sons one 18 and one is 24, living with me and I am affected by their drinking and behavior. I dont feel ready or willing to do drastic action such as ask them to leave, although from time to time I have wanted them to leave and wished they would go sometimes, and I have threatened them with throwing them out but they know it is threats. I live alone with them and there is no father or father figure. I feel my extended family dont understand and think I am exaggerating, but its not them getting woken up through the night with noise and party's, or being spoken to with disrespect.

I am wondering if there is any members who might be in a similar situation to me who could private message me their skype details so we could maybe speak sometimes? I am from the UK and struggle to understand the time differences of various countries.

Thanks for listening



__________________
LedfootJenny


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 203
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Scoob,

I wanted to extend a hug and welcome you. It's so hard to write your story for the first time and to ask for help. I'm so glad you've done that. I'm glad you're here! I don't have a situation that is like yours, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that you were being listened to.

I'm sure that there are others that have some experience in this arena.

Keep coming back, even if you don't find someone to skype with right away, keep coming back to the board and to the steps of Al Anon.

I say that because it sounds like your house is no longer a home and that you are living in fear and sadness.

Al Anon was the antidote for me. I helped me find peace again. It can for you too!

Jenny

__________________

I've got new tools, and I'm running with them!
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Scoob

I'm in the UK, USA are approx 5 hours behind so you can work it out if your considering the online meetings. Welcome. I can relate to your share. I had to ask my eldest son to leave my home last year, hes 21. It was due to his drinking and bad behaviour. His father is a recovering alcoholic whom I left about 6 yrs ago so I learned we were all effected and had symptoms caused by the disease of alcoholism. It was the hardest thing Ive ever done in my life. It went against every nerve ending in my body. I had an unrealistic idea in my head of what a Mother is and what a Mother should do and these ideas were old and ingrained. I had to work through that and I learned that I have a right to make my life a happy, calm, safe one and I've set out to get it and I have it today. I've been in Alanon for 3 yrs now and my life has changed beyond recognition. I get to say what happens in my house and drinking just doesn't happen now. My son was homeless and bumming around for a good while, sleeping on sofas etc, it was really hard, heartbreaking but I had to reclaim my life. It has been good for my son, he treats me with respect these days, its so so good. Hes still got issues that come to a head from time to time, but hes been working for a while now, has a gf and his self esteem has grown. My home life had got bad for everyone. I have another two children, the youngest almost 18. I couldnt have done it without the people on this forum and the Alanon program. You can find a meeting at alanon.co.uk.

__________________
scoob09


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you, and there is a whole big back story that would take forever to go into. I will keep coming back. Thanks for your welcome.



__________________
scoob09


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Date:
Permalink  

Hello, thanks for your share, I have been to some face to face al anon's but the members there are mainly there about their partners or their parents as their qualifiers, I dont hear anyone talking about their children. I have asked my sons to leave but I dont know how to make them leave, and there was a whole few months of sadness and despair just contemplating me making them leave or me to leave the house, we are all a bit tangled up financially, its a bit of a mess and complicated so I do have loads of areas of my life I need work on.

 

I am already in recovery for various other issues and I was finding that I could not focus on recovery because of the boys drinking and behaviour, so I have shifted my focus on to al anon. There does not seem to be any sponsors in my area.

The reason I asked about the skype calls in the USA is that sometimes the boys wake me up through the early hours and I could really do with knowing I could call someone but I know people in UK will be asleep but in USA it is probably daytime.

 



__________________
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:
Permalink  

Thats sounds like a good idea. I could have done with something like that when I was going through the sleepless nights too. The members at my face to face home group are affected by alcoholism in many different ways, parents, partners, children and I always get something from their shares regardless of which alcoholic in their lives they are talking about. An open mind is needed to hear it though. I have heard of members out in the middle of the night helping other members. Good luck.

__________________
LinSC


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 375
Date:
Permalink  

welcome scoob, keep coming back, lots of wisdom here. linsc



__________________
scoob09


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 22
Date:
Permalink  

thanks, you are right i always get lots from peoples shares at meetings.



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Hello I'm a new member