The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for April 15 speaks about our old attitudes of believing I that we are justified in getting angry at anyone in an alcoholic fog. . It points out that if we accept the truth that alcohol is a disease, we will understand the accusations and outbursts of tempers cannot improve the situation and only increase our frustration.
The reading goes on to say that such outbursts of temper do give momentary relief pent-up feelings, but once we do release these feelings, we see that they only make matters worse. Any action of hours to compel the problem drinker to do anything is doomed to failure.
There are two powerful quotes today. One is from Ephesians. It states; "let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking, be put away from you.".
The second is from Proverbs. This states "a soft answer turned away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
Thank you for your post. I do not feel anger and bitterness the way I once did. I also struggled for a long time with being able to detach but not completely come undone. There were times I felt so disconnected by the A in my life that it was indifference I was feeling, which as we know is not the same as detaching with love.
Thank you, Betty.
This has been a theme for me lately as I have been working on myself. Whenever I get angry at my A, it stirs up nothing but trouble.
I realized that my dad was always yelling, and though I vow to never be like him, I have become him. In working on myself instead
of focusing on my A, I hope to turn around this anger and learn not to react in a way that makes me explode. I grew up in a very
dysfunctional family and have major codependency issues (neither of my parents were drinkers, but the traits are there...someone
in my F2F meeting said that it can be a generational thing where there has been alcoholism in the past.). But I have vowed as my
mission and purpose in life to not allow my kids to deal with the same things I grew up with and to end the cycle. That they will never
feel the humiliation, shame, guilt, and affects that my bullying father had on me. I just recently came to this self-realization, 40 years later.
I wish I knew it sooner, but I couldn't have known it before Al-Anon. For all of you, I am grateful I found you. Thanks for this share, Betty.
Gabigail
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Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well. Anonymous
Thanks everyone for your observations and honesty. Gabigail I too grew up with name calling and anger and am so grateful that alanon has given me the tools to respond and not react What a gift.
