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Post Info TOPIC: Feeling emotional(in a good way)


~*Service Worker*~

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Feeling emotional(in a good way)


Tonight I was asked to share my story at a meeting.  I had agreed to do this 2 months ago but didn't start preparing until today, LOL.  I just prayed for God to guide my words, for him to help me put my thoughts together and for my words to reach those who needed to hear what I had to say.

At one point I looked to the right and saw a woman who has been in program for about a year crying.  I was talking about having the strength to leave my marriage, to finally stop sitting on the fence, to trust God and to step out in faith.  She was close to weeping and she was still crying when she left the meeting even after I hugged her and all she said was, "31 years...why can't I leave?"  

I am still crying for her....my heart broke.  To see her pained face, to know that it was so familiar to me.  To realize that it took me 3 years to make my decision to leave and to know that she may have more pain and heartache ahead of her.  I am so grateful for the program and for what I learned, albeit a bit slowly, LOL.  I am still crying for her....maybe it was just because I know her pain so well.  

I love sharing at meeting but today was extra draining for me.  To relive the pain from the past, to rehash it and bring it up with vulnerability in the meeting.....I need a good sleep.  



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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Good Work Andromeda . I believe that this is what program is all about .
Paying it forward is another gift of this fantastic program as we use our own sorrow and difficulties to inspire others .Another reason that there are no leaders or professionals in Alanon we are all inspirations for each other. We share our pain, struggle and sorrow as well a the solution, that we found in program, so that others receive the hope and courage that will enable them to continue.

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

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Posts: 194
Date:

My story is a lot like yours Andromeda!  It took me 3 years also of Spiritual preparation to gain the confidence and faith to end my marriage.   I empathize with people who are still involved in relationships that don't work.  I have a Sponsee who I work with that's in an abuse relationship, but won't move on.  We re-harsh the same issues and feelings over and over again.  It reinforces the believe that " nothing changes, if nothing changes".  I do know my experience has helped others through my actions.  I've seen it play out with a couple of different folks.  Some I never talked to directly.  The miracle of The Progam.

Settling for less, because fear of the future(unknown) is too powerful.  Not a judgement, I've been there.  It took that amount of time working with a Sponsor and my HP to take action.  I did learn from it though.  My Sponsor taught me the 60-40 rule.  When weighing the choices of making a big decision- once you reach the point that you're 60% sure this is the path to travel, take action and leave the results up to your HP.  He showed me that if I waited until I was 100% sure of my decision and outcomes(beyond my control), I would never take action.  It works wonderfully on all kinds of things, not just relationships.  If you had a dollar, would you want 60% or 40% of that dollar?

My HP revealed very quickly after my decision that I was on his path for me.  Small things kept poping up to reinforce the action.  For me, this is the power of God and The Program. 



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3968
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I am so proud of you and glad you are able to pay it forward! This journey is not easy, but so very worth it. You are amazingly awesome stepping out in trust and faith and showing others it can be done. Al-anon is an inside job and it takes time and diligence, but the pay off is to breathe the fresh air of life. So happy to read this today!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1258
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Thanks BF and everyone else here. I still think about her today. Hopefully she reaches out to her sponsor and finds the solution in her own timing. Hope you all are having a very blessed and beautiful day!

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5663
Date:

Moving on is never easy. However, I think after 31 years, it would almost be harder. I try and remember this when talking to some of our members here that are separating from spouses of 25 or 30 or more years. Easy for me to talk about moving on when the longest relationship I've had is 7 years.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3968
Date:

I agree with Pinkchip and therefore do not judge this person or anyone whether they stay or go, it is our choice to live this life as we see fit. I was only with my exAH for 15 years and when I left it took every ounce of strength and more to do it. My exAH had left me for short spurts a few times just enough to keep me off balance and for him to enlarge his ego to see how scared I was to lose him. I didn't know I could go on and make it on my own with kids especially. I didn't know life would be more than okay, that was my normal and even though it was toxic and getting more abusive slowly it was all I knew. I grew up in it and married into it and what else could I even dare to dream. I am so glad I did it and so did you. It took you and I time to want more, to grow so uncomfortable, to dare to hope and dream. I broke away from all I knew and had no where to go, but I figured it out and even lived with people at first, which didn't go well, but it was a starting point. I was a mess and never knew how far I could go and continue to go. Blind faith of jumping out of everything I ever knew and even loved and left it all behind was so worth it, but at the time I had no clue that it would be the best thing I ever did! I am usually a too loyal creature of habit and hate change, but since I left I have embraced change and growth and all things new. I am a new woman living a life I have only been able to dream of! I had no idea and wish freedom and serenity to everyone and when they are ready they can seize their life in their own time. Sending you all love and support!


__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."

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