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Post Info TOPIC: A Hard Step Back in Time...


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1558
Date:
A Hard Step Back in Time...


So Yesterday here in my Little Piece of the World when I Got Off Work it was 75 Degrees Out, I had a Clean Harley, and about 3 Hours of Day light Left so I Jumped on And thought I Would Continue on this Healing Week I have been Having...

I Went to My Old Home Place... Which NOW is a Charred Structure that was a Case of Arson a Few Years back... I Had Not Lived In My Home for 30 yrs Now, because I Moved Out when My Mom Left My Afather All those Years ago...

Strange the Feelings that Came over Me in this Time, I Walked around Just trying to Remember and Embrace the Memories, Like the Old Ragged Apple Tree that Use to bring me So Much Joy, and the Little Stream behind my House where I would Catch Minnows, and Salamanders, and Spend Countless Hours Just Sitting Right in the Middle of It, when things Seems Tough on My Inner Child...Or Looking into the Kitchen and Seeing the Same Metal Cabinets I Use to Crawl Thru as a Child... Many things Touched Me In this Place... 

As I Walked the Property there was Many Emotions that Over Came Me, Some Tearfully Happy and Others Tearfully Sad... But at the Same time thru all the Tears & Emotions, I Realized... I'm OK... This was the Place My Afather Took on His Disease "Our" Family Disease... This was the Place that I had Him IN My Life even if Only for a Short While of Memories of Laying on the Couch watching Cartoons on a Saturday Morning and Westerns On Sunday Morning... On the Rare Occasions that He Come Home Of Course... I think for the Child in Me, that was the Hardest Part... Not Knowing WHY He wasn't coming Home? He had Many Bad Habits I Learned Later On...

Al-Anon has Given Me the Courage to Walk these Steps of Healing, and Has Taught Me that I'm OK doing things on My Own because My HP Holds My Hand & Walks with me... And tho there was a Time I Would not have been able to Spend the Time I did Yesterday, I Can Now Say... I'm Ok...

In My Disease I Struggle with Many things, But Yesterday while Riding My Bike, wind in my Face and Taking that "Glance" Back at "Better" times as a Family, before I Realized the Disease, It Reminded Me Not Only Where I Came From... BUT... How Far I have Come... My Heart Aches for the Place My Great Granddaddy Built with his Very Own Hard Working Hands... And I Wish it was Not Laying In Rubble, but at the Same time, Maybe that was the Best Place for it to be! God Has the Plan for Me, I'm Just the Carrier...

I have Questioned Many things along the Way of My Recovery... But My Faith has Always Been Strong, I Just Needed the Tools...I Just Needed a Swift Kick in the  Tail Feathers to Realize Just how Lucky I am to Have the Life that I Do Now, when I Look at all the Heart ache it took to Get Here, I Can Honestly Say... It was Very Much Worth the Ride... 7 years Ago I Could not Say this... TODAY Thanks to AL-Anon I Can...

I Can do All things Thru HP who Strengthens Me... I Can't, HP CAN

 

Thanks for Letting Me Share....

Prayers for All

Jozie



__________________

Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Dear Jozie, what a powerfully stated, beautiful reflection of your journey down Memory Lane!!!

I could feel your recovery in the positive way that you reflected on your family and on the love and joy that you felt in your memories. I know that all of this took a great deal of hard work and walking through the pain with HP, in order to arrive at this place of serenity and acceptance.

I have observed her journey from the start, and know that you are definitely a Miracle in Progress.worship.gif   floating.gif



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1558
Date:

((((Hotrod))))) I Couldn't have Done it without Your Love & Commitment to this Program You will forever have My Gratitude :) Thanks for Sharing Your Journey :)

__________________

Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

So happy to see your growth and  that you are pyaing it forward.  

 

You are indeed an inspirationaww



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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