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Post Info TOPIC: Baffling Disease


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1091
Date:
Baffling Disease


Hi Everyone, 

Well, push is really coming to shove, and I have got to have my thesis to committee next Monday! EEek! I am taking a few days off this week to wrap things up. 

This weekend was incredibly baffling to me, especially after the week I had last week. My wife has been sober since last Monday, and we actually have not been arguing about much of anything the last few days. She is giving me space to work on my thesis and work my program, and I have not had to walk away from any conversations or discussions in the last few days. No name calling, no insisting that I drop everything to take care of something she should do herself, etc. 

I stop to ask myself if I am just placating her again, as I did before starting my program, but I do not think that I am. I am enjoying the peace and the calm for now, and trying my best to not worry about when it will go away. 

What brought this on? I am not sure. I certainly didn't expect it. 

In other news, her initial court date is this Thursday. I think it is just the first appearance, but I am not sure how this works, and I am letting her take care of it. 

I also got really fantastic news about my credit - the small steps I have taken over the last 12 months to slowly pay things off are really starting to snowball, and things are starting to look up for the first time in years. 

Looking back, even though I just started my Alanon program a bit over five weeks ago, I can see how desperate I have been for positive change for the past 12 months, and I can see how the little steps I took along the way are starting to come together in a powerful way. (Applying for and taking my current job, deciding to go back to my old job part-time, picking up work on my thesis in earnest, setting up a separate bank account, making small payments on bad debts, and, most importantly, starting my Alanon Program.) 

I am not sure what tomorrow will hold, but today, things are looking great, and I am content.  



__________________

Skorpi

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3613
Date:

Fabulous!  Way to work your program, and a good reminder to all of us about how small steps add up...



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1896
Date:

Yes, they do add up! Happy that you are able to see progress. If you come to program, keep an open mind, and work it, you can see changes pretty quickly.

Do be prepared for when it all seems to go down the tubes again, don't be surprised if/when a relapse occurs, you have learned what you need to do under those conditions, so you can just go do it at that point.

Kenny

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Skorpi you are doing so well with all that you
Have going on around you!

You were ready for big changes and getting
All your ducks in a row! You are willing to do
What needs to be done for your life to get Better
And saner.

We are all here in support. You certainly Are a
Quick learner!


__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Skorpi So very happy for you my friend . You are moving in a positive direction and one Day at a time life unfolds.   Keep up the good work



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 239
Date:

so very happy and pleased to read this.

__________________

-- ladybug

We come to love not by finding a perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1887
Date:


I think although things change and there are always new challenges around the corner, celebrating the good times really helps us create a picture of the kind of life we deserve to give ourselves.
Take a mental snapshot and remind yourself that you deserve exactly this...calm, the ability to concentrate on your own interests...those things are so normal to some people but for some of us they are amazing new gifts; I know they are for me.
Yay for you!!

__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1091
Date:

Thanks, everyone!

Good thing I didn't get my expectations up, since somehow walking from the bus stop to my office ended up in drinking at a bar for my wife yesterday. :-/ The money her mom gave her for house cleaning was apparently burning a hole in her pocket. And, once there, she ran into a "friend" (bartender) who moved thousands of miles away five years ago. Didn't I want to come and see him and catch up? Nope, nope I really did not. And, unlike past situations, I didn't let myself be guilted into going into the bar or having a drink so I didn't "embarrass" her in front or her "friend". I just said "I do not want to catch up, and I do not want to go into a bar. I do want to go home now. Please go to the car." Which, (and, this was completely unexpected!) she did, without complaining or arguing at all.

At least this time, she just REALLY wanted pizza (we had the same conversation about what to have for dinner, on repeat, for the first 45 minutes of the commute, then I stopped so she could get a pizza) and then passed out, without getting sick. Less mess for me to deal with at midnight, anyway. And, it turns out that she didn't leave her wallet at the pizza place, she just put it in her bag and couldn't find it. Also good. Today, of course, she remembers nothing but the pizza.

Today, I took the day off work to get my footnotes and bibliography in order. And Chloe is hanging in the car where I can see her from the coffee shop, since she managed to bust out of her crate again at home yesterday. (And by "busted out" I do mean that she went through the side of the metal crate, since I had the door so well secured... She is one determined pooch! I am going to have to ask the vet what to do about her. She is fine in her crate upstairs with the broken latch all night and all day, as long as I am home and she hears my voice or footsteps once in a while. The second I am out the door, all bets are off, and she freaks out. Guess she will be coming to town with me until I figure something out for her at home!)

So, progress for me, and thanks to my program, I was able to deal with her unexpected drinking yesterday without it ruining my night or my day today.

__________________

Skorpi

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Thanks fo the lovely update Skorpi I love that dog :) and how you so gently care for all that are in your circle.
Glad that you are sharing the journey.

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 239
Date:

Sounds like Chole needs to be your service dog...

and you did great thanks for keeping us posted Skorpi.

__________________

-- ladybug

We come to love not by finding a perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3496
Date:

It works when you work it!

__________________

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1091
Date:

Chloe has been enjoying her rides to and from town, and has been expending her energy "protecting" the car for me. (Although, I discovered at the coffee shop yesterday that I cannot leave a window cracked for her. About a half hour alone in the car, she had managed to get 2 paws and most of her normally round-ish head OUT the window. Much longer, and she would have broken the window for me. At least it is still pretty cool out, and I should have a more secure crate for her by the end of next week.) By the time we get home, she is sitting up, leaning against me with her eyes shut. She goes straight to her crate, and snores the rest of the night. (well, snorts is more like it.)

Next week, we will be starting herbal calming remedies for her as well to help with the separation anxiety.

__________________

Skorpi

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

smileLovely share  Thanks 



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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