Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Still struggling with the dysfunctional co worker


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 146
Date:
Still struggling with the dysfunctional co worker


I am still struggling, any experience strength and hope is appreciated. Last week, my wonderful student was working with me all week, she was in spring break. We got all kinds of work done, old papers boxed up, some thrown away dating back to 2000.

DC was not there until Friday. She followed me around looking at assignments I turned in to boss and questioned me about them. If she had asked relevant questions it would have been easier to deal with. I have a really hard time believing she has been a bookkeeper for "years" since she does not speak about facts, just "what she remembers". I shut her down with "bring me the support and I will be happy to look at it".

Yesterday, she needed to reconcile year end payroll. Last years are in boxes in the warehouse. She asked me to move boxes for her, I advised her to ask one of the young men to do that for her. She gave me a really dirty look. Next she wanted the first week of the year payroll support. I advised her that all payroll was in the filing cabinet or n the boxes. She announced that she couldn't find the payroll. I stomped into the filing room, pulled open the drawer, pulled out the week she wanted. All the time she kept saying she couldn't find it. Then I threw the rest of the folders back in the filing cabinet and slammed the drawer. I do not understand why this women wants to treat me as her servant. I am not her assistant. No one else in the office treats me like this. Luckily, she left me alone and did her work the rest of the day.

I went for a walk and called an alanon friend. I came back from the walk and went into the chat room.

When my student came in the afternoon, we still had more stuff to throw away, I threw it vigorously in the dumpster, I didn't have to do that but I told my student that I wanted something physical to do to relieve my anger.

When I got home, I mowed the yard.

Today, the DC will not be there. I will have to keep up my boundaries on Wednesday when she returns. I hate being mean to her but I don't know how else to keep her out of my face.

Thanks for listening. P.S. I also said the serenity prayer a lot yesterday and developed a gratitude list. I have expressed my issues to my bosses many times, they do not want to do anything, they are in denial. Again, thanks for listening.



-- Edited by mercedes1959 on Tuesday 24th of March 2015 06:46:01 AM

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:

I love the serenity prayer for this type of thing. 'Accept the things I cannot change' everyone really, you cant change her you can only change your expectations in my experience. If she behaves badly over and over again it would be madness on your part to react every time. She is what she is for reasons you dont know. All you can do is set helathy boundaries for yourself. It sounds like you did well. I have a friend who gets upset over someone at work and there are rewards in it for her, she cant or wont see this. It would be unrealistic for any of us to expect the world is full of healthy thinkers. Im getting to the stage in my recovery where noone is getting my power. Someone can only upset or annoy me if i let them. It is hard at times though.
I recommentd writing her a letter, not to be sent, have a rant go for it and then forgive her and write about her good points. When i do this its gone.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Hi Mercedes I do believe that since this women is the mother of the owner of the Company she no doubt feels this gives her cart bllanche to interact with  her osn's empoloyes as she chooses.  I would simply treat her with ccoutesy  and work around her. 



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 146
Date:

go on hotrod....

__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 146
Date:

Yes, hotrod, that is what I am doing. I pretty much blew up on Monday when she demanded that I move boxes around for her when there are plenty of able bodied men here to do that. Then when she brought me a file and told me she could not find the payroll which was in the file, I lost it, I gave it to her and slammed the file back in the drawer. That was just the straw that broke the camel;s back. There are so many good people here to work with and one that backstabs, controls and does things that are vindictive is just not ok. i am pretty sure I let her know that, today she is very quiet and staying away from me. That is going to have to be how it is.



__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 146
Date:

Actually, she is doing something for herself LOL.....putting some stuff in binders instead of asking me to do it for her.

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.