The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ah is trying to stay sober and is going to therapy and taking his drugs. He thinks he is bipolar and I kinda new it but for some reason it worries me more now that he realizes it and that it is out and I have no idea why! I guess I am thinking great one more thing for him to obsess about... One more excuse to be a jerk and then do self pity so I can't feel anything or tell him anything. we have been getting along ok but I am just tired of this stuff. How can I be shocked when I am really not and why do I just want to run away. How can u leave someone who has a mental illness? Should I leave or is there any hope at all. Will I ever have peace and happiness with regard to him. Should I leave? Should I stay and keep trying? Am I doing the right thing by my daughter if I stay? He is her step father...I wish I knew what I wanted to do :).thanks for the rant And sorry about that sometimes I feel like I am going to burst unless I get this out.
HA: what it sounds like that maybe he might have bipolar disorder but I am not sure if I like that term. I have bipolar disorder but I am not bipolar. Just saying...
Help Angel, please remember that we are powerless over people places and things. I'm sorry to hear that your husband may have an additional mental condition that may require care.
The best we can do is take care of our own mental health by attending meetings so that we can have compassion and empathy for others while we nurture ourselves. Making more meetings if possible might help . You are not alone
One of the things I found through Al Anon is that I *can* feel things. I know you can too. You are probably saying that your relationship with your husband is such that you feel that he doesn't *allow* you to feel things? If that is true, you can use Al Anon meetings and friendships to help you feel things that you may not be able to share in front of your husband. In the meantime, you can make up your mind whether you want to live life like that, but you can vent, feel, and reflect at meetings and here.
I have bipolar disorder and I manage it very well. I take my meds, go to therapy, do what I need to do. It is very manageable if you are willing to do the work.
That being said- you cannot force someone to do that work nor can y ou do it for them. Just like someone else's drinking.
My first husband (a dry alcoholic) had severe bipolar illness. I eventually could no longer live with him because of the instability and his unwillingness to do everything that the doctors told him to do. It took me 3 years of thinking about it but I finally filed for divorce when it came down to his illness eating me alive basically. I was getting to where I was no good to anyone else. I was very kind during the divorce and during the years after. Our daughter is almost 11 and is very well adjusted. I am not sorry that I chose divorce. I'm not saying that is the path you should follow-- every family is different--but it is an option and not one I've felt guilty about no matter what his mother said or what my church said.
Thank u every one! I guess sometimes I just wish for peace and think I might get close to it and then there is something there to shock me again. He is so much better but there are just moments when I am just up to my limit. I go on vacation this Friday and I find I am so excited that I don't care what is bothering him. I just need a break :).
