The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Courage to Change reading for March 23rd speaks about the deep pain and sadness over the dashed hopes broken dreams that dwells deep within us after living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that Al-Anon helps us to face these destructive painful emotions of the past. We can best face these feelings by holding hands with the fellowship while we feel the feelings, share the pain with others so that we can be ready to see our part and move on..
The reading goes on to say that these feelings are a deep part of us, and when they come knocking at the door of our consciousness we are to open it and let them in, feel the feelings, own the event and only in this way can we become whole and at peace.
The quote from, Peter Marshall; "when we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure".
When I think about this reading. I am reminded that prior to program I would complain about my issues and people would give advice, which I resented and never really took. I then learned to stuff the feelings rather than share them because I did not want anyone else's advice. By denying reality and living in a fantasy of pretend I was able to survive for a while.
By the time I reached Al-Anon, the inner pain was overwhelming and I found that Al-Anon had the right formula to deal with this. Since we do not give advice, I found that when people simply listened with compassion and empathy, and offered a constructive tool to live by, I felt better and more whole. I also found that the steps really helped me to go inwardsearch out all the pain from the past, look for my part in it, process it, share it, and be willing to let it go. That is what program gave to me. Freedom from the past and hope for the future.
I can so relate. My journey in my grieving, trauma and also
Doing recovery work at the same time. I have been filled with
emotions and feelings I needed to face and process.
It has been a long very painful journey. Facing truths and lies
and then moving thru them has been very Freeing. God has my
back and gives me the inner strength to get thru them.
The love and support of alanon, mip, divorce care and friends
Has saved my sanity and opened up my soul. I had forgotten
It Even Existed anymore. My pain and hurt still exist but my
mind is More settled having worked out my inner struggles
with the Help of the fellowship and my HP.
Yes, using alanon tools to feel feelings,, process them, not react and to respond makes a world of difference. I too am grateful to alanon meetingss and members.
I appreciate the reminder that facing my feelings while utilizing the tools of Alanon is much different than complaining about my problems. Also I feel refreshed in being reminded that working the program doesn't mean I won't face difficulties along the way, that they are simply part of life. Thanks Betty and Miranda for your esh.
Thank you for sharing and your service. I used to get angry when I heard the statement "God gives us what we can handle". I felt bitter, resentful, none of it was fair etc etc. I can honestly say I do not feel like that so much anymore. I have been thinking about the idea that God gives is what we need, not necessarily what we want. A little over two years ago I thought what I wanted was a sober H and that would solve everything. That didn't happened and my HP showed me Alanon. I got what I needed and that made all the difference.
I like the quote a lot. Sometimes it does take pain to make us stronger, but I do have faith that I have the strength I need.
I agree Mary and ntd Using alanon tools works. It does not mean we will not have difficult times s but we do have constructive tools to walk through them and that makes all the difference.
I am very grateful that I am able to let go of all the disappointment and resentment, so that I am able to absorb and put into action all the tools of Al-Anon and grow to be a confident person. The confidence helps to weather the difficulties much better.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
thanks betty .. when I share what's honest in meetings or with sponsor it's in those moments I seem to feel the safest in feeling those feelings .. think I had to feel with others as well as share with them .. this is a good reading for me tonight .. feeling a Ton of family pain .. just so empty .. the dashed broken dreams .. when I see how things Really are ? I'm speechless Still to this day .. maybe even more so With recovery than I was without .. although the understanding helps .. too many dashed hopes and dreams to count .. my dream today has changed though .. my dream ? a clear thinking serenity feeling simple life without chaos & with my higher power In the center of it all ..
just seeing how generationally fast this disease has travelled ..
MeRwo2 I too felt the pain of the emptiness when I let go of my denial and pretend tools. I was assured that they kept showing up, using Al-Anon tools, that emptiness would be filled with serenity, courage, wisdom and newfound self-esteem. I assure you that is the truth. Keep coming back
