The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel like a sucker..ah has been out of rehab less than 1 wk and its like the movie Groundhog day. same behavior differnt month. I am not trying to do his inventory or tell him what to do I swear. He is again bugging me to tell his employer he is sick Monday at court I had another opportunity to have a restraining order but i wanted to "hope" and " support" him after his stint in rehab so I let him weasle out of it. He hasnt gone to meetings,called his sponser,read any litrature. Again he is not showering or shaving and laying in bed for 3 days straight. Dammm I want to scream!!!! I am doing my own activities etc and trying to mind my own business. He is mean and demanding and dopey acting
Alcoholism is indeed a cuning , baffling , powerful disease. Please be gentle with yourself, remember the serenity prayer and try to get to a meeting as soon as possible.
Prayers continue
Of course, none of this is your fault. He will drink or not, he has had plenty of counseling and introspection at the rehab, or at least he has had as much as he actually wanted to participate in. Who knows how much that really is?
Thus Al Anon's philosophy that we take care of ourselves.
My wife is almost 1 1/2 years sober, and got a sponsee that was going to the same rehab as wife had gone to. She had been working with her for 2-3 weeks before she was released, and seemed pretty stable and prepared for outside life. Wife found out that she had relapsed within two days of getting out, which violated her probation. She had a probation meeting the next day, was busted with non-0 BAC level, and went promptly to jail.
So, it is a baffling disease. Fortunately wife has good support with her AA group that she was able to deal with this, and that is why we need support in our Al Anon groups, so that we can deal with whatever anger, guilt, etc we feel, and learn how to shield ourselves from it next time.
I hope you can get to a meeting ASAP. It should be a godsend.
Sorry yarn. For me, each one of the episodes where I got my hopes up and was then dissapointed when my A failed to meet my expectations hurt and made me feel foolish and defeated at the time but each let-down also strengthened me and helped me develop my boundaries and my own understanding of what I wanted and needed to feel happy and safe. It's just another step on the journey, you gave him another chance and he's blowing it already. Whats the next right step for you? Hugs to you. You're doing great.
-- Edited by missmeliss on Monday 23rd of March 2015 10:52:05 PM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
So sorry. I know the roller-coaster too well, and the struggle of deciding to step off the ride. (Just a week ago, I came home to my wife passed out and food burning on the stove.)
(((hugs))) to you, and I am so glad that you are keeping your focus on yourself.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
