Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Accepting the Good Feelings


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 25
Date:
Accepting the Good Feelings


Hello Everyone,

It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm trying to work through some feelings about a recent success.  I've been doing my best to work my program by taking the next right action and letting go of the results in my work search efforts. Recently, I've had a lot of interviews and I've been offered what seems to be a very good job. There are still some unknowns of course but it looks to be a good situation. I have some time to consider the offer and make a decision. It includes all expense paid international business travel for training. It seems to be an exciting opportunity.

i've been a bit disappointed by the responses of those closest to me. I feel there's a twinge of envy and it's left me with a rather lonely feeling. These reactions have compounded my feelings of grief concerning my mom whom I lost a few years ago. I'm not able to reach out to her by phone and share the news and hear her excitement. I've been trying to work through the feelings I'm having and fully embrace how thrilled I feel to have been selected for this job. I tried very hard to work my program at my f2f meeting last night when sharing this news. Working my program for me anyway... means not feeling guilt and minimizing my joy when sharing good news in an Alanon meeting because others struggles are being shared. I'm proud of my recovery and I believe I'm doing much better with letting go and that energy attracted prospective employers in my presenting myself for jobs.

Well thanks for letting me share with you.  I'd love to hear your thoughts concerning the feelings of others and your own happiness.  (((hugs)))  TT

 



-- Edited by tiredtonite on Saturday 21st of March 2015 02:50:52 PM



-- Edited by tiredtonite on Saturday 21st of March 2015 02:54:10 PM

__________________

Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:

Good going on the new job and training overseas WOW!

I can still be hurt especially Now when i am so fragile
and emotionally needy. i find i Just hang around positive
and upbeat people.

Depends on how healthy and supportive your people are!


__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Congratulations TT, I am happy for you and know that you have worked hard and diligently for this opportunity. Seeing the miracles that occur, when we practice program ,turn our will and life over to the care of God and trust the process, enriches my life and trust in the program.

It is important to share our experience strength and hope at meetings so that others will understand the process and be willing to keep showing up. Minimizing successes is an old worn-out tool that does not work. Celebrating our success and validating our actions is what program teaches us.

I hear your disappointment in the family's reaction to the news. Taking risks, having the courage to keep showing up is something we learn in program, your family may have different values and attitudes and letting go of our expectations of others is an important Al-Anon concept.

Remember we do not go to the hardware store for bread so looking for support in the right places is another tool of recovery. I'm glad you came here Please keep us informed

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 25
Date:

Thank you, Mirandac and Hotrod for your support, encouragement, es&h.  Just to update, I've looked at the job offer more closely and have had to ask for a few things that were promised by phone but are not in the offer. There is a possibility that they are represented but that's left to interpretation. I would rather have things clearly spelled out before accepting.

Although it was stated in the email with the offer to reach out with any questions, I painstakingly chose my words and asked for what was agreed upon. I tried very hard not to infer any intentional omission in the package but on the other hand, I didn't flinch by asking if I had misunderstood.  I just matter of factly said that these things that I was told were part of the compensation package didn't appear in the offer. I asked for a revised offer that included those things. I further asked for clarity concerning the work environment and was specific concerning my wants and needs.  Like a typical Alanon I reviewed my request twice, read it again after sending it and then after some hours, I read it again to assure myself that nothing I'd written was out of line. lol  Due to a time difference or perhaps fact gathering, I haven't received a response.  I realize that I've been true to myself, taken the next right action and now I need to go on with daily living. I have plans to meet a friend for dinner. I'm looking forward to that and it will help with staying present. 

I tend to grow irritable when I'm worried about things are unsettled and project the worst and need assurances from others. Then I get tired from all the worrying and let it go finally. Posting here is helping me to get these feelings out and not go to that place. It's a waste of time and resolves nothing. Giving into obsession gives power to something as insignificant as a job offer and it becomes my higher power. A job offer is insignificant in comparision to maintaining my serenity, health and the good and fulfilling life I already have. A satisfying job would be an enhancement to that life not the other way around.  Hp has me where I'm mean't to be and hp's will continues to guide me.  So today I'm going to get busy with other things that I need to do and take time to enjoy the day. I'll try to remain focused on myself and stay present in today's interactions with people, places and things in my life as it is now.  Thanks for letting me share with you. (((hugs))) TT



-- Edited by tiredtonite on Tuesday 24th of March 2015 11:54:06 AM

__________________

Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1091
Date:

Congrats on the job offer, and on following through and asking for the offer that was promised on the phone!

And, especially on following through with your plans for today, and not being paralyzed by worry.

And, thank you for sharing, and offering your experience. I am nearing the half-way mark of my current 2-year appointment, and I will soon be looking for a new position. I worry about whether to hope the current appointment is extended, or to aggressively look for a better job in a different area, closer to my family. Much easier to do my best work today, and let my HP take care of next year, a reminder that I need, quite often.

__________________

Skorpi

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.