New to this site, so I will really have tp get to know those of you who choose to converse with me on any given topic. Really connecting to people is important to me. I have 6 years of sobriety and long term experience working the 12 steps and going to AA meetings. I have a wonderful homegroup. I have been to a couple of Alanon meetings, though the folks there didn't like the fact that I had valid criticisms of Alanon, even though one of the criticisms was essentiaslly the same as a criticism Lois Wilson made of the modern program in her book LOIS REMEMBERS. That didn't seem to matter, and my motives were called into question when the participants couldn't think of a way to refute the criticisms I had offered (for instance, when I pointed out that Lois W. had made the very same criticism). My actual motive was two-fold: I had good reason to believe that my wife was being told some deceptive things in the program and applying those things in our relationship, which actually resulted in an uneccessary divorce. At no time did I sdimply "blame" Alanon entirely for the discord in our relationship, mind you. The reasons we had problems in our relationship were somewhat complex and had to do with issues we BOTH unfortunately had. My alcoholism was, of course, a huge, huge factor, although at the time of the decision to divorce I was sober. In fact, that was at the beginning of the six years of sobriety that God has granted me. At any rate, I wanted to confirm my suspicions with regard to Alanon by actually attending meetings. Unfortunately, the folks there accused me of any number of things that were entirely untrue, and I have since seen many Alanon folks on-line do the same thing to others who might have valid criticisms of things that have been going on in that program since perhaps the 70's and 80's. I haven't had time yet to do more research into the historical development of these problems in Alanon as yet, since I've been very busy trying to develop the proposal for a doctoral dissertation in religion and philosophy, work on my foreign language skills, and do my general research. I should say here, however, that one of the things I often research is the history and nature of various modern psycho-spiritual movements, such as Scientology, the recent interest in the supposed "metaphysical" power of"positive thought ie. "Laws of Attraction") as indicated by the popularity of Wayne Dyer and the book THE SECRET, The CELESTINE PROPHECY, "spiritualized" popular psychology, A COURSE IN MIRACLES, Alcoholics Anonymous, general "cult" groups, "positive confession protestant Christianity, etc. etc. This gives me, I believe, a pretty good perspective on recent historical developments in Alonon in addition to the personal and tragic experience of seeing my marriage end. Should I face the same "accusations" with regard to my "true motives" here on this sight, especially if its clear to see its being done by someone who sim[ply doesn't know how to cope with valid criticism, I will point that out immdediately, whether or not that will make any difference to the more objective and open-minded among you. Hopefully, those in the program may see something in somer of the things I say, and try to bring that perspective onto the meetings more often. Perhaps that will in some small measure help to prevent the kind of thing that happened in my relationship from happening to another couple. My marraige is over, so the best I can hope for now is to help somebody else. That's one of the ways in which I can practice the 12th step. So, this is my way of trying to reach out to another who could use my help, even if only indirectly. If any of you would like to see ythe program imrove and/or correct unfortunate things that may have happened in the history of the program, I'd sure appreciate your help. But if you are just dogmatically "anti-AA" or "anti-Alonon" I'd rather you didn't just "agree" with any criticism I may offer here and cite it as "proof" that all this "12 step stuff" is "cultic" or undermines "individual rational thought" or what have you.  I am a HUGE believer in the spiritually transforming power of working the 12 steps simply and thoroughly. In short, don't appropriate me to your thoughtless and dogmatic agenda. I simply won't have