The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am either very stubborn, in denial, tone deaf or a bit simple at times. Maybe all of it, at times, im not beating myself up, im aware and accept my doatyness, sometimes embrace it and play with it. Anyway, ive been feeling a bit eeeeeeoooooo, not really able to get my serenity, feeling that im upset or anxious about something but refusing to listen to my higher power or listen to my inner voice, which could be my higher power. Ive just turned things up a bit, drown it out, got really busy, dont think, dont think.
So, recently there have been loud signs like a program about the brain and how when we are obsessed with all our gadgets, which i am, there are parts of the brain that switch off and dont get the exercise it needs, like the part that day dreams and thinks deeper than the average thoughts. So, this was a random news clip i stumbled upon. There has been other things but ive been holding my ears and humming lallalalal. Anyway, last night at 3am my higher power woke me up and gave me the answer to how ive been feeling. Ive been ignoring an issue and it was like the light switched on. It was as if someone shouted right in my face while at the same time shaking me. So, i made a move to deal with it and already today i feel clearer, fresher and a bit happier.
I have been working my program but maybe in a superficial, chore kind of way, wrapped up in this site, the internet, work, feeding my mini obsessions. I have been praying but maybe i havent really wanted to know just yet so ive been in run mode. thanks for reading.
I can identify with this elcee...once you are really in recovery and have built a program that saved your life, life starts nudging you back to working that program every time you stray. If you stray too far, life will kick your ass back to the program. I have had to recommit/re-surrender many times in my 6 and a half years in recovery....I guess it's working step 3 over and over and over.
I found beating myself up counter productive in recovery
And grieving. You are ready when you are not before then.
I can be very slow to process things i do not want to let
Go of. Not self will but very strong feelings and emotions
Are attached to the issue. I need to work thru them and
Face them before i can let go of them. I am a work in
Progress.
Most of us have our hidden desires feelings wants needs
They can be very challenging to face and deal with.
