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Post Info TOPIC: Newcomer Greetings


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 2
Date:
Newcomer Greetings


Hi Everyone,
I really want to start to feel better. I felt that this program would be the place to start. My son is an addict. He doesn't think he is though.
When he was in High School he began smoking pot, drinking alcohol and barely graduated. He went into outpatient treatment during that time.
I believed that he would become aware that drugs use was a bad choice....since we had come from families of alcoholics and codependents.
He was accepted into college but was not home during that summer, hanging out with all his friends, to get all his housing in order, so he had to go
to community college and live at home. After about a year, his friends were coming in from the out of town colleges, he left with them and spent 2 years
away...working & living. He came back and was living with other friends...working...then went to another college town. He was doing really well working, taking classes and met a girl he really liked. He was devastated when she broke it off with him for another guy. He was really torn up...one of hid friends was going on a road trip...following the rainbow?? We told him we thought it was not a great idea...leaving school, dumping his job...( we were not angry, but disappointed)
He left without even coming by. He traveled throughout the country no phone....lost his ID...no money...was begging for money....playing guitar on corners.
He called every few months to check in,I was thankful..he was always good about this. 18 months later he calls and asks for me to help him get home. He was in
the Midwest, I got him a bus ticket. He's back and got a job ...lives with us....leaves for days at a time. It was hard... living under our roof. He moves out to a friends 3 months later....We don't see him for a few month but his is super thin. I though he was scrapping by ..not to much money for his life. See him occasionally..pretty distant. January 2014 he calls and asks to come by....I see him pull up....he's kinda frantic. He says he needs help....people are after him.
What is going on? He says he's on Herion..wants to quit. We say he can stay with us..try to help him detox...he went to AA meetings...I took him to an evaluation to get into a program. He lasts 3 weeks...got into an argument with his dad...gone. relapsed... HE comes back again renewed hope, he goes to detox..stays for 3 days..then want him to proceed to inpatient. Relapse...don't see for a while. I get a call from one of his friends who say that he is talking about himself in 3rd person..living with a group who are concerned about his bizzare behavior...putting on makeup..painting nails.. His friend tells me that he in taking Meth as well as Herion. He called and I asked if we could meet up..he agreed...I took him to the emergency room....he told the nurse.. people were following him. They gave him some meds.... he came back to our home.... His friend who was also trying to quit Herion was now on Subox...our son says this would help him....I went with him to the clinic..... trading one drug for another? did not make sense to me. He was on for about 2 weeks going down to get it...coming home looking stoned out of his mind......I shared my concern. Then a cop comes to our house looking for him several times, even asking to come inside and look. He has a warrant. He was busted with meth and needles in his car...he also stole a cell phone from someone, and he was trespassing. He went to court and spent 7 days in jail...gets out don't see or hear from him. He's living in the streets. He did not do what the parole officer requested. He spent Dec & Jan in jail. He called during the holiday to say he would not be home...we put a few $ in telephone so he could call us...He sounded good, read 15 books, planned on getting public housing....
I did not visit as I couldn't face seeing him in jail. I felt guilty about it and hope he's mind is clear enough to realize what his doing to his life. I've gone to a few Alanon meetings since last year..got some literature, learning some tools, listen to the phone bridge for Alanon all the time. I know I didn't cause this to happen, I can't control what is happening and I can't cure this problem either. I'm powerless over his disease....
He was released on Jan 16...I have not heard from him...he said he would be stopping by so he can get his birth certificate ( he lost the original one) I had to get a new one. His parole officer called...he has a warrant for his arrest again. I try to not obsess about it...some days are worse that others. I try to get on with my life......but I worry...I know he has a HP who knows his path. I have told my son this ........I just miss him & hope he will make it through....He is only 28......He has so much potential & is such a good hearted soul....
I need to start my steps... any help..
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2015 11:31 am


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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Welcome Oregon girl Thank you for sharing your heart. Please know you are not alone and that many of us have journeyed down that difficult path. Please keep attending your alanon meetings and keep coming here as well.

We really are powerless this disease but we are not powerless over our recovery

Prayers for you and your son on the way



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:

Welcome Oregon Girl

Do you know how happy I am about my son now in prison. Trying to keep him safe on the outside was too much for me and my fear and worry was unmanageable to the point of losing it. I didn't want him in prison but it became his choice when he got behind the wheel of that car. He's now going on his second year and he's working, learning, growing and finding himself.....really finding himself.

I can't make any quarantees he will come out a better man but I do know he's finally knows the consequences of his choices.

Keep coming back because you are not alone ((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

The absolute only help I can give you...outside of a very sincere welcome and gratitude that you found MIP is what worked for me...which also includes MIP.   Meetings makers make it.   Get into the rooms of Al-Anon as often as you can; listen and learn and practice, practice, practice.   That is what worked for me when I followed thru on the suggestions from the fellowship.   Literature is key also as is finding a home group and doing service in it.  Then the big one for me was finding a sponsor I could and would work with to get my life straightened out because being born and raised in this disease alcoholism and drug addiction was normal for me.  I knew the insanity of the disease...I use to behave that way myself.   You have the 3 Cees down good and the reaching out and asking for help.  Reaching out and asking for help for me got me....help. The closing statement of the meetings told me "If you keep and OPEN mind you will find help".   That promise came true for me so I can offer it to you also.

Keep coming back into the program and add MIP as a support tool.  We work at keeping each other sane.    (((((hugs))))) smile



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Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 2
Date:

Thank you for all your responses. I appreciate you taking the time to write as well. Can I do the steps online? Get a sponsor online?



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

There are lots of tools available for us; face to face (which worked/s best for me) and online.  The personal touch worked best for me because I had a problem with procrastination and that would have never gotten me the recovery I have today and needed.  I've had online sponsees which also showed me that I am not the only one that procrastinates.  The program works when we work it is what was told to me and what I have found out to be true for me.   (((((hugs))))) smile



-- Edited by Jerry F on Thursday 26th of February 2015 06:33:16 PM

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