The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays Courage to Change reading is about the 12th step, especially the phrase that says Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. As I read this page, I thought thats a fine kettle of fish! Ive volunteered to do this reading, and I havent yet done the 12th step! Then I realized that the 12th step doesnt say and after I have done the 12th step, I will have a spiritual awakening, it says that the spiritual awakening comes during working the first 11!
When I look at how much less focused on others I am to make me happy now, when I look at how much more pleasant I am to live with (maybe I should say less unpleasant to live with), I know something has changed inside of me. When I realize I have a bit of empathy now, empathy being a longstanding lack in my life, I realize that I am undergoing an emotional awakening.
But I then look to my HP, and realize I am also going through a spiritual reawakening. Oftentimes its because I realize that I am mad at HP about something in my life, and am working through it. Without having a spiritual reawakening, I wouldnt feel anything towards my HP.
But also, I have that deep feeling of gratitude. I have started to understand why we introduce ourselves as a grateful member of Al Anon. That gratitude doesnt just come from happiness that we get to work on and improve ourselves. That real, deep, gratitude, to me, is what comes from our spiritual awakening. That gratitude where we are thankful that we are alive, that we have people around us who care (even if it doesnt seem obvious that they do). That we can love those seemingly unlovable people without becoming entangled in behaviors and attitudes that are unacceptable to us. That we know that we can make even our biggest decisions based on facts, with feelings to just guide us, not rule us, and that we will therefore be filled with serenity because we will know we did the right thing.
So, just working the 12 steps will give us our spiritual awakenings!! Its not something that magically happens at the 12th step, its all through the process! Im so glad that is true, or Im sure I would never make it to the 12th step.
Good share, Kenny. Thanks for stepping out and writing on the 12th step today. Like Hoot Nanny's, it gave me pause and helped me think.
My first genuine spiritual awakening came before I really delved into the Al-Anon program. I became aware of how loved I was by a HP who didn't judge me or keep a record of my rights or my wrongs. My HP was simply concerned for me and what I had been through. That spiritual "re-awakening"(that was a keeper, Kenny) kept me going and growing through many issues that were mine to work on and to heal through. I also kept being called back to the program in different ways and at different times. I thought that there would come a day when I would no longer need to work the program and would be free of its medicine. I've learned that was a faulty conclusion and I'm grateful to have changed my mind. I will be in the program until my HP decides it is no longer necessary for me to utilize its spiritual disciplines.
Dear Kenny, thank you for your powerful reflection on today's reading in the Courage to Change. As I was reading it , I was struck by your thoughts that we introduce ourselves as "grateful "members of Al-Anon.
For the first few years in program I could not even say the word." grateful"-- that shows how lost I was. When I look back at my negative reasoning, I believed that I had nothing to be grateful for because I worked hard for all I had and that being grateful diminished me. I am amazed to remember that person that I once was and to see how far I've come using these tools.
When I first entered program and saw the steps they appeared overwhelming and frightening but the 12th step promised a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps and so I decided to stay and strive for this awakening
I have found that many of my spiritual awakenings are very subtle and I am only aware of them when I respond differently in situations. I can now say and feel the word grateful and mean it. This along with having complete faith in HP, understanding that praying for my will is just another form of pride and arrogance and and living life on life's terms acceptance is the key are all tremendous gifts of my spiritual awakening.
I must continue to attend meetings and practice Al-Anon in all my affairs as my spiritual awakenings need to be reinforced each day or I will once again return to my spiritual coma as I was before program
I used to be confused by the "spiritual awakening" until I realized that ANY growth or overcoming a challenge re: my survival skills (don't like the words "defects" bc it implies i am defective, so i call it unwanted traits or survival skills) anyway, when i overcome on of these or manage to arrest it, keep it in check, that is my spiritual growth or awakening.....also when i feel grateful for the little things that is spiritual growth which means awakening???
anytime I over come or keep in remission my coda and can act with empathy and compassion, but not absorb their responsibilities and thus can love healthier, that is another spiritual awakening for me....all those wonderful lightbulb moments i got over replies to my "giving up on me" post, i was awakened spiritually..
i get awakened a lot being on this board and to give my thanks, i recycle what i learn...share it w/others........
Love this post.....take care....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thankyou Kenny for the topic...and thank you everyone else for your shares and great reminders of how much I need this program every day. I was at a f2f meeting yesterday and someone said a spiritual awakening...could be considered any forward motion or improvement in the program. My behaviors of fear and forcing solutions were deeply ingrained in me from childhood,it's ongoing work to keep the focus on me and just be as present in today as possible. I need to be accepting of myself right where I am on the journey. Thankyou for the gentle reminder Rosie that anytime i can arrest my coda behaviors even for just one interaction that's a celebration. Looking back sometimes I forget to celebrate how far I have come on the journey, I keep striving to be better, do better and really that's just my defect of perfectionism creeping out. This morning my stepson stayed home from school, in the past I would have been obsessed with it and with his fathers choices. Instead today with God and this program...I am keeping the focus on me and my life. I worked out at the gym early, did laundry, worked a step ten with my Alanon friend on the phone and now I'm here posting. Life is good ;) I saw my stepson in the kitchen. He asked how my day was going? I said great and asked how his was going. He said terrible...I paused, waited for my intuition, said oh, well I hope your day gets better. I am making choices these days to not take on other people's problems due to poor choices they have made. I will let God juggle that situation, I have bigger fish to fry, me ;) and one of my bigger character defects that's rearing its head right now. Just the fact that I'm not making excuses for my behavior and putting the focus on his inventory, is big change for me;) emotional and spiritual honesty.. So thankyou for posting the daily reading and everyone who shared esh here. I am so grateful.
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I needed these behaviors in my past they helped me survive I'm finding new and better ways to not just survive but thrive
