AH GETS OUT OF SCRAPES - Al-Anon Family Group

YARNCRAZY · Senior Member

AH GETS OUT OF SCRAPES

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

I know, Yarn, it seems they slide though life, but really, karma will catch up with them...if they dont stop they will lose their minds and physical health,

their good luck roll never lasts.....those of us who are working and trying seem to have the rubber boot up our keisters at times, but the karma evens out n the end....I do believe that...

just keep putting out good energy...take care of you...let him go to his own devices...cut him loose from your list of "things you can help" and it all equals out in the end.....

PEACE

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Al-Anon encourages us to learn how to take good care of ourselves by removing our focus from the A and putting it on ourselves. This doesn't mean we let them do anything they want to us. It just means we realize that we are powerless over them and their disease. We can't change them. We can't cure them. What we can do is to make changes that benefit us on all levels to include mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. We become aware of and accept the changes we can make and we take action in our best interest. An active A is not taking good care of themselves. They aren't able to take good care of us, too. But, we can and do find ways to remove ourselves from the consequences of living with an active A. We don't have control over the court system, insurance companies, or our families either. The most relief I experienced in the Al-Anon program was learning how to separate myself and my business from the active As' business and those who enabled him.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Alyce Keeping the focus on myself, living one day at a time, accepting life on life's terms enables me to see the insanity in the world and still be able to stay the coarse ,and place principles above personalities.

Working the steps with a sponsor, also helps me to let go of the anger and resentment that have developed over the years and know that as I give to the world the world will give to me.

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with the others, it is best to stay out of the consequences of their lives.

I have feelings of guilt about wishing that AH would have some consequences and then that Duh!!! feeling when once again they slid past him. It is frustrating I think, because we have our own view of reality and it seems that others are not seeing things as we do. That is why Alanon and MIP are so important to me, because these people hear what isn't even being said. We just know it from our own experiences.

YARNCRAZY · Senior Member

THAT IS ALL WELL AND GOOD BUT IN THE REAL WORLD THERE ARE GRAY AEAS. IM PARTIALLY DISABLED AND UNABLE TO COLLECT DISABILITY AND FIND WORK TO SUPPORT MYSELF.

I GET MEDICAL INSURANCE AND A SMALL WEEKLY PAYMENT FROM THE FAMILY BUSINESS

FIQUIRE THAT OUT SINCE I HAVE NO LIVING ELATIVES AND NO FRIENDS TO HELP....

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

What can you do to change things for yourself? Are there services you can get help from? Do you live with an alcoholic? Is he in cahrage of your money? If so i can understand how vulnerable you feel. I suggest contacting social services. Alcoholism is too much for most of us withput help. Alanon helped me beyond belief. Have you tried the meetings here online? You always have choices, even though it feels like it were at the mercy of the alcoholic, we never are.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Yarncrazy: I have been in very difficult financial situations with both severe depression and an intestinal disorder that could create havoc for me. I discovered that when I turned my life and my will into the care of my HP, asking only for knowledge of my HP's will for me and the power to carry it out one day at a time, I was able to support myself and two children in ways that were right for us at the time. Being grateful for what I did have helped me open my eyes to all that truly was being provided. Doing things I loved to do increased my self-esteem and lessened my fear. We may be powerless over other people, but we can and will be able to take good care of ourselves with the help of our HP one day at a time.

I discovered that my Source of all goodness was my HP. All that I needed to survive and to thrive was not provided by other people or even a job, although I've worked since high school through retirement. It was a power greater than myself and all others. Today, I'm not wealthy but I am comfortable. I do not struggle with severe depression. My intestinal disorder is usually manageable. My conscious contact and relationship with the God of my understanding is the most important relationship I have or had have. Other people are a delight for me in most cases, but they also are not my HP and they cannot sustain me, support me or help me in the same ways my HP can do it nor can I be that for others.

I don't believe that your HP is any less loving or concerned about you as mine is towards or about me.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 28th of January 2015 06:08:11 AM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 28th of January 2015 06:10:06 AM

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

The book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews helped me immensely when I first found al-anon as did the 3 daily readers and so many more al-anon books. Sending you love and support!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.