The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tonight, I went to my grandson's high school holiday concert. I listened to the strings, 3 choirs and then his symphonic band. I watched my 15 year old, sophomore grandson file in with his classmates, sporting the new tie he'd talked his Mom into buying. I saw him find his seat with his baritone between the tubas and the trombones. I watched the top of his head beeping and bopping to the music and his fingers moving up and down on the keys. My daughter and I sat side by side grinning because "our boy" is growing up and has gotten good at playing his instrument. He no longer suffers from stage fright as he did in grade school. He is confident enough in himself to relax and let go when he plays. His band got a standing ovation and so the band played one more time for us as we clapped to the rhythm of the music - all strangers and yet all happy to be present and watching our "beloveds" play.
My son was living with his Dad when he was in high school. When he was a sophomore - he was hit by a car and suffered brain damage. That was the beginning of a nightmare for him and me and his sister that hasn't ended yet. But tonight, I was a Nana enjoying the sights and the sounds of her grandson. For tonight, I was happy. I have learned that life contains both tragedy and joy. Tonight, I got to be on the upside of life. I'm grateful.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 18th of December 2014 09:57:34 PM
I'm glad u can see your grandkids.....mine don't even want to come over.....i guess D#2 is mad at me and she tells them shes mad at me.....she has not let them come over many times so now they have pulled away....even my baby boy, i can never get to see him, he "disappears" when gramma is around, looking for him.....
its sad, but it is what it is and i am powerless....i have my other yougins who love me as their gramma, mama lioness and i am grateful for them.....the ones accross the street always are full of hugs and the little girl is precious..gorgeous child....absolutely hugs me to death....a very affectionate little being....if my grand children don't want me, others do........i just go where the love is
i am glad for you.....i hope you never ever experience being "non existent" to the grand kids.....its real tough to get over, but i finally, with alanon, came to grief and then acceptance..........
glad u had fun.....i am going to take 2 weeks off work to do some water therapy on my back, stuff i picked up here an there to do to keep strengthening it so i never have to suffer that kind of spasm again......gonna take 2 weeks off for me......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, water therapy. Is there anything better? I don't think I've found it. I hope it helps you.
I hope I don't experience that, too, Neshema. I only have the one grandson. And yet - like you - I also know there are little ones everywhere who could use the support of someone who doesn't "have to be there and chooses to be there." I relish the time I have with my grandson although those times keep dwindling as he grows older and is developing a life of his own. Yet, today is all there is for me. And today is all that matters. I'm happy to have this experience which helps heal what I didn't get to enjoy with my son.
And fortune is having one. I am so pleased to read of a sacred relationship that is protected from the disease of alcoholism and that you and grandson enjoy the blessing of each other.
Thank you, aquamom. Thus far, I don't see signs of a budding A, and I hope it stays that way. There was a big difference in his personality than in my son's. He was very easy as a baby and as he's grown. My son was very complicated and still is. I treasure them both for different reasons. I'm also grateful that my grandson and I have not been separated as my son and I were when he got to be a teen and wanted to live with his Dad. There will come a time when physical distance will separate my grandson from me, so I'm eating up what time I have with him now. He still has fun baking cookies with his Nana and doesn't want to "share me" with any other kids which also makes me smile. One day, I hope he'll be at least willing to share me with his children although he has stated that "No, Nana. When I get married, you will not be able to live with me and my wife." Sighhhhhhhhh. I guess you can't have everything you want in life.
I love the perspective of experience and wisdom you offer. You know only too well that children grow and thus the them of today, really is just that. I think I've just been given a glimpse into how a person can claim to know another better than they know themselves. Perhaps only grandparents can truly make that claim.
(((am))). I probably don't know him better than he knows himself - I am sure there are things he keeps to himself. I can say that he is and has been the apple of my eye for 15 years and I couldn't ask for a better grandson. I'm so used to doing things for myself and I'm not used to things being done for me. The other day I was "working on my board" as both my grandson and daughter say, and he brought me a warmed up cup of coffee from the kitchen just because he thought I might like it. I do think he will make a good husband and a good father if he keeps going the way he's going - and I'm not saying that just because I'm his Nana (or, maybe I am?) I love your feedback here. I've loved sharing my grandson with you, too. Thank you, aquamom. You've added a little more joy to my night.
Lovely Catherine, I am so happy that you were able to enjoy your Grandson and share the sweet evening of entertainment with your daughter.
I t is important to acknowledge the Joy and Blessings of each day Thank you for sharing
wonderful to hear about your joy around your grandson! he sounds like a treasure. i love how he told you you can't live with him and his wife. i used to have similar conversations with my grandson - those are special memories. if he is still nice as a teen, i think it bodes well for the future . . . and i appreciate that you live in the day - that's a real good practice.
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"All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."
Edgar Allan Poe
Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream.
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a Dream.
(((ohno))) I truly am blessed by him. He has undergone a major shift though on the living with him thing. I took him to look at huge Open Houses when he was about 8 or 9. He loves to build so I thought he might like to see some of these homes. One of these huge houses had a "Parent's Suite" in the lower level of the house. "Oh, Nana. If we could buy a house like this, me and Mommy and my wife and kids could live upstairs and you could live downstairs." "Well, honey, you'd probably want to talk that over with your wife, first." Now, even without a girlfriend, he's wandering away from his young person's dream.
Ive suspected this for a while now. Thank you for confirming that happiness is being a nana. I cant wait until im a granny. I will be an excellent granny, what with this alanon inside me. Im loving the new small edition to the family, although im not her granny, so much fun. I think christmas is christmas when children are involved. So glad you enjoyed your day grateful. Were entitled to that even though the alcoholic is still drinking, i understand.x
Yes! Even though the baby isn't yours - they can certainly suck us in, can't they? Those babies have a power greater than ourselves. Glad there is a little one in your life and older ones, too, el cee.
I, too, love being a grandma. I tell our little ones, I have grandma rights Your post brought me to the feelings of gratitude I have for my grandchildren and a camaraderie for all of us nanas and nanas grandchildren...
Thank you, aquamom. Thus far, I don't see signs of a budding A, and I hope it stays that way. There was a big difference in his personality than in my son's. He was very easy as a baby and as he's grown. My son was very complicated and still is. I treasure them both for different reasons. I'm also grateful that my grandson and I have not been separated as my son and I were when he got to be a teen and wanted to live with his Dad. There will come a time when physical distance will separate my grandson from me, so I'm eating up what time I have with him now. He still has fun baking cookies with his Nana and doesn't want to "share me" with any other kids which also makes me smile. One day, I hope he'll be at least willing to share me with his children although he has stated that "No, Nana. When I get married, you will not be able to live with me and my wife." Sighhhhhhhhh. I guess you can't have everything you want in life.