The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm having some issues with my apartment, which has put me in a hotel b/c it is not safe to sleep there right now. I have stayed in 2 diff. hotels, whatever has been cheapest, and on a friends sofa one night. I am feeling beat by life. And this, is making me miss my Aexbf. Plus it is the holidays, and I am forced to feel that added pain. lol. Making things worse. I'm laughing, but inside I'm hurting.
why is it when things go wrong we hit a soft spot, a bump in the road. For me it is difficult b/c he always used to help me with these things so I am doing this alone and having to rely on the generosity of others whom I feel really weird accepting their help. . even legal services for free. I am mentally exhausted, just tired all the time. May just leave here early and go home to my parents for the holidays which was where I was headed anyway. I feel uprooted, and missing him more than ever. just in general. Hate this disease. I keep reading the posts here to remind myself nothing in the world can get him sober unless he is ready to do it himself and I left for a reason.
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
Going to your parents - great idea if you can do it. When I have felt as you do now, it was amazing to me how just going home to my roots helped me find my strength and power again. I could then return to my own home and pick up the threads of my own life as it was and keep putting one foot in front of the other one day at a time. (((g)))
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 15th of December 2014 11:38:17 PM
what is it about going home to roots that were good, it always seems to give me strength too. I come back new. I feel the rut. So maybe I just have to manage like this & go home a little earlier this year instead of sleep in a hotel right now, take it one day at a time until the holidays are over and know that it will be ok. I was going to decorate the apt and get through this first holiday without him ok, but that did not happen b/c I didn't even get to sleep in the apt. this month. HAH. Guess that wasn't meant to happen.
-- Edited by giraffe13 on Monday 15th of December 2014 11:52:57 PM
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
Still plenty of time to run home and maybe help decorate there, see some old friends and family members, maybe make some Christmas treats or just sleep at the old homestead? I can remember sitting with my Dad early Sunday mornings looking out a big picture window that overlooked pine trees and a large grassy area drinking coffee in our pajamas and talking about whatever came to mind. Loved that "filling time." Hope you enjoy being home, too?
I understand how you feel. I miss the familiarity of my AH. I don't miss his disease, though. I am forcing myself not to call him and check up on him. I still want to fix him. The holidays are hard. I can't wait to see my older kids this week and go to Disneyland. Hang in there. You aren't alone.
I try to think of this as a season in life.. that before long this will be in the past. It is hard to look around and see what is going on.
Try to think of some good distractions. Try not to be alone with your thoughts.
Pray... it works for me.. he listens.. and can comfort you in your pain.
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I have hope that my next minute will be better and to learn from my last minute.
At some point you might question if it's him you are missing or if it's dating and relationships. Maybe it's time to move on and start dating new people. We all have needs for support, validation, intimacy. To me, it sounds like you are missing those things more than actually missing him. Maybe it's time to consider going after those things elsewhere? You've been broken up a while. Not sure - not really advice or even suggestion....just something to think about.
