For reasons I won't go into, Thanksgiving was always going to be a huge challenge this year - there's another big tragedy going on on the side.  But then you may remember I was worried about my ex-AH's downhill slide.  He showed up for our big dinner and I could tell he had been drinking.  He was much louder and more chaotic than usual.  Usually he just sits there like a lump, but this time he was talking loudly, laughing, singing, etc.  However, it wasn't so over the top that I would have thought a normal person would have figured it out, especially people who don't know him well.  I kept watch in case he was going to get out of control, in which case I was going to take him aside and suggest he go home and take a nap (which would have meant he'd have slept for hours and not come back).  But I don't think he brought alcohol with him, as he became quieter over the course of the meal.  And then said he had something to attend to and left early.  So that was a relief. 

In the old days I would have thought, "Why is he acting so strange?  What's going on with him?  Why can't he just be normal?  He hasn't been drinking, has he?  Or am I paranoid?"

In a way it was good to be through all that.  I knew what was up.  For sure he had been drinking.  If there's one good thing all those years did for me, they let me spot it without second-guessing myself.  I had a Plan B for if it got worse, and I wasn't surprised or shocked or offended.  I did roll my eyes privately a little bit, and I did feel aggravated that I had to absorb this on top of everything else, but all in all my tools let me stay calm.

I also know I have it easy because I'm not living with the A, and by and large he's peripheral to my life.  Yay!  I remember when we separated, ten years ago.  It seemed like the nightmare would never end.  Now I am free from the nightmare 99.5% of the time.  Double yay!