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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My Thoughts
Post Info TOPIC: My Thoughts
Cathyinaz


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My Thoughts
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All I can say is my 37 year old son has been sober for 9 months and I'm really good with it.  Might not be what he wanted but he is paying big time for his choices.  I could have enabled that night, I could have done something......but I let go and just prayed he wouldn't hurt anyone driving and that the police would find him first.

When you let completely go is when the healing starts.  It will get really bad for you at first but in turn it gets better as the days go on. 

I remember Thanksgiving last year when my son was in the Hospital waiting for surgery on his knee from a fall while being drunk.  I was sick about it but I didn't go running.  Most of December was it was bad but getting better for me because I didn't go running.  The day they called me tell me that my son was naked half way out his door and he had 72 hours to vacate the apartment I cried but I was not going to help him.  Yes his father stepped in but soon learned what he needed to learn.   March 20th is when the arrest came and I didn't bail him out...he cried...I cried.  For 5 years I thought prison would be the worse thing that could happen.  Now I understand it was what he needed because nothing else helped. 

Now I can continue to heal with my son safe and learn how important it is for my health to let him live his life and God willing grow up. 

Last time I talked to him....he's has 250 pages of writings that he is going to put in book form.   " My 24 Months "  Good for him.....he's learning, growing and understanding his shortcomings.

Have a blessed and grateful Thanksgiving.... We are not alone because we have each other, our HP and the fellowship. 

((( hugs )))



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neshema2


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NICE share (((((((((((((Cathy))))))))))))   WOW...you have come so far....I am happy to be sharing growth with you.......When my A brother was threatening suicide and depressed, yea, i got scared and called his friend and told his BF that yea, I love him, want him to live, but I am not running 1700 miles to rescue him...if hes that determined, he will do it or not do it......I also told A brother that if he scares me like that again, threatening suicide and all, scaring me, I will put distance between us b/c  i cannot go through trauma and anxiety over another....I cannot put my serenity and mental health at risk b/c of his decisions...I told him i cared about him,  would pray for him, would listen/esh him on things, but I also drew a line in the mental/emotional sand, how much drama and chaos I can take......I am still recovering from a very very bad back spasm espisode and i know stress is what triggers my muscles to seize up and not be able to let go........I can't do this anymore...I want my peace and its up to me to see to it I have it....I am responsible for me and me only...If I don't take care of me, who is??? I am so glad u arrived at the conclusion that we really really are powerless over others, no matter what they do, and detachment is the only way to go if we want to keep our heads on straight.........good work,  Cathy....I am very proud of you



-- Edited by neshema2 on Thursday 27th of November 2014 03:11:32 PM

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grateful2be


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Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! I'm glad your son is safe and you are at peace this year, Cathy. Amazing the transformation we go through in relationship to our adult children and this disease.

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el-cee


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I remember you getting better and better, you did so well cathy, I was very inspired. Im not as good at it as you but ive gotten better. I have a horrible fear of jail for my son too but it is where most alcoholics end up unfortunately or fortunately what ever way you look at it. Im glad your healing cathy, great post, nice timing. Thank you.x

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PP


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Happy Thanksgiving, Cathy.  It was a rough year.  Thank you for your thoughts (((Cathy)))



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Paula
cloudyskies


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Hi Cathy and thank you for sharing that. Your share reminded me of how I used to be "tethered" to my ah. I was afraid to go anywhere, because I had to be home to take care of and "bitch and rage" at my husband. Before my HP led me to Al-Anon, that tether had gotten so tight, I could barely breathe. Actually, I had gotten to the point where I no longer wanted to breathe.

I'm so glad to see you are healing. When we are able to truly detach, the freedom and healing begin. You did some serious detaching with your son. Good for you!!

Happy Thanksgiving and you are absolutely right, we are not alone.

It works if you work it.smile



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Jen61


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Good share Cathy.

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missmeliss


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You are awesome!

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Debilyn


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What a journey you have been on. I can tell you have more serenity. Glad your son is working on him.

I know you love him so very much. hugs dear one



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giraffe13


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wow, I remember your posts Cathy and have not been back in awhile and frequently read. I am so happy for your family that this has happened and your prayers were answered. You are being taken care of, and so is he. Thank you for that share, it was really special and nice to read. With such peace in it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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hotrod


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Nice reflection Cathy Prayers all around

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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bud


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Continued prayers

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