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Post Info TOPIC: Very busy .. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3496
Date:
Very busy .. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!


First and foremost HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!  It has been a wild month .. I do not know if I am coming or going.  This is weird to say .. I'm divorced however I'm not divorced legally if my XAH dropped dead tomorrow we would be married, no divorce decree has been signed.  I also celebrated another birthday!

XAH has been on very good behavior EXCEPT for the fact he is coming to my house and putting his hand in my mailbox.  I have notified the police.  I just refuse to be held hostage by the fact he just shows up, it's freaky to me.  Move along now .. nothing to see here.  There is that rebellious part of him that does not want to follow the rules.  I guess on a more positive note his need to keep up appearances has made things easier on the kids and I.  At least he's paying support.  I'm grateful for this, it appears he's trying to get the arrearage on the OT paid before we head back into court.  That's fine by me, however he's just so unaware of many things. 

There have been MANY entertaining stories that only can happen in my life I swear .. God has a seriously wicked sense of humor.  Let's start with the fact of I worked a full day at work and was exhausted anyway, I haven't been sleeping well.  It's early and by early do I MEAN early 6AM .. I'm drinking coffee, fleet manager comes in and is chatting oh by the way so and so has money for you make sure you get it .. ok.  I apparently was sleep walking.  I was on auto pilot and I want to be very clear about that .. LOL .. my brain was not connecting to my body, and for lack of a better term one of my nice looking salesmen came in with the money and as all I could think was OMGOSH .. that man smells soooo good .. now he's handing me money with his right hand facing me and I was reaching to him with the right side of my body, without any thought about it.  He's very married, this was such a base animal instinct to be close to someone of the opposite sex .. there was nothing sexual about it .. it just was instinct.  I wanted close enough to close my eyes and take a deep breath and feel like everything was going to be ok.  I guess kind of like getting a hug from dad maybe.  LOL .. wouldn't my salesman love to be compared to that just something comforting however .. had I made contact would have completely been misconstrued and talk about EMBARASSING for both of us!?  DOH!!  About 6 inches from contact my brain flipped back on and literally I'm freaking out, the look I must have had on my face was unreal in terms of I was horrified by MY behavior and then I did this body maneuver to MISS him.  I must have looked sooo FUNNY!  After the poor man I almost assaulted left I howled laughing at myself thank goodness I was the only one in the office. 

Well, I had been talking to my mom last night and she asked me did you make a pass at him and I can honestly say NO that's not what happened, I just wanted to be hugged by a guy.  Again in a family way not in a familiar way!  So today God granted me my wish and it was nice .. I got hugged by an elder patron I see all the time at Starbucks, we stop and chat he's such a sweet man caring for his wife with dementia.  This man one day at the Parole office showed me the greatest kindness while I was with my XAH at that point.  He was just a sweet man, who happened upon me while I was really having a hard day.  My temporary boss at the moment is leaving so I got to hug him as well.  I got another hug from a young man who I see all the time.  I love this kiddo he's really a great kid.  I hope my son grows up to be like him.  Funny how God works .. seriously He couldn't provide this before .. LOL!?   

We have been running like crazy.  The kids are really, really good.  I'm really, really good.  I've just been trying to focus on all of the positives that are going on, gratitude has been key.  I still hit one f2f meeting a week.  Trying to work my program.  I've worked very hard at not engaging in crazy.  I have had very strong boundaries with him though and at this point they are not flexible.  Give an inch he takes a mile. 

He's suppose to see the kids this holiday and I doubt that will happen.  It was his weekend, he finally called them (which he is calling vs texting more often than not it's extremely sporadic) Sunday morning (daughter did not get up until far later) she was angry though because he was calling to invite them for Thanksgiving dinner that was happening at 3PM.  I had to laugh to myself.  This was to have dinner with his girlfriend, him and her parents .. seriously?  The kids have never met her .. this is not appropriate to introduce her when he hasn't seen them for 8 weeks.  Now what I can say now that I couldn't say 3 years ago is that in his mind .. this is completely ok, why would anyone have an issue with this .. my youngest responded I am NOT meeting a girlfriend and HER parents during the holidays.  Later on that's fine .. not before the end of the year though.  My daughter DID remind him that it was his weekend and it would have been nice to have more notice.  His response .. oh yah .. I knew it was my weekend.  Now .. going to say these kinds of statements make me want to shake him until his eyeballs roll.  You can't tell me he was unaware these plans were made.  Again .. to him .. this is a normal response.  So tonight again .. his holiday .. texts her that he wanted to know if they would go to the movies with him and his girlfriend tomorrow.  We went to this particular movie for my birthday and had a blast!!  My daughter being MY daughter texts back .. we have already seen this movie .. by the way here's our Christmas list you wanted to talk about Sunday.  Anyway, I have gotten a good lesson on what he believes is ok he really doesn't take into account anyone else except him. 

This is ALL about appearances at this point.   I'm just grateful for whatever reason he's at least financially coming through for the simple fact if he doesn't he is fully aware his a$$ will get dragged back to court in a split second and after the last go around with the Judge he definitely doesn't want to go there with me.  Looseriffic is putting it mildly.  He definitely doesn't want to talk to me on the phone regarding the kids.  I find that telling on many levels.  He is still living in an alternate universe as the reason for the early TDay was because he was working or the girlfriend was out of town and now he is "taking the kids to the movies". 

I do have a question if anyone knows they can PM me .. he's cashed in the 401k and I do not believe he was suppose to do that because we were suppose to get a QDRO done on it.  So he may have acted without discussion from his atty.  I would find it very speculative that his atty advised him to do this.  It was in a court order that wasn't suppose to happen the way it did so I'm a little concerned over tax repercussions. 

Anyway, it's all good and I'm very happy. 

Hugs S :)

 

 

 

 



__________________

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:

Happy belated birthday! Happy Thanksgiving. Happy recognizing you are still a woman even though you're a Mom, too. I'm glad to see you and the children are doing well, the support is being paid, and you are happy!

__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 531
Date:

Hi Serenity and Happy Birthday. My granddaughter was born on the 16th of Nov. Good month for birthdays.smile Also Happy Thanksgiving. I'm glad things are going well for you and the kids. As far as cashing in a 401K, if your exh is not at least 59 and one half, he is probably going to have to pay a penalty. Unless the law has changed, this is what I was told a few years ago.

So good to hear from you!smile

 



__________________

Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold  O-on  P-pain E-ends

Linda-



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:

Good to hear from you, happy birthday serenity.x

__________________
PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:

Happy birthday and Happy Thanksgiving!

 



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Paula

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