The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is from one of my blogs. Thought ya might find something of use in it. :)
I wonder sometimes how you will remember me, after I'm gone. Certainly I do not plan to leave this world anytime soon. I'd like to think I'll be here for a while yet, but I am close to 60. I'm a heavy smoker. I've already had one heart attack and a few mini-strokes so my mortality has been made clear to me.
So, how will you remember me one year or five years or ten years after I die?
Will you remember me for those stories I had published in the Grapevine? Maybe you read one and it kept you from taking a drink that day.
Will you remember me for the books I have written? Maybe you have a copy?
Or maybe it will be for the blogs I write? Maybe one of them pissed you off and you wish I was still here so you give me a piece of your mind?
or will you only remember me for that poem I had published in Alpha Arts Magazine in 1982?
Will you remember me for the work I do in the fellowship?
Will it be for the stories I told you when you were a newcomer? Maybe you're a longtimer now and it's because of something I said that I don't even remember saying?
Maybe as one of my sponcees you will say to one one of your sponcees, "My sponsor always told me....blah blah blah." And the two of you will laugh and stay sober one more day.
Will you remember me for the successes god and I had with a handful of men? or will it be for the dozens of failed attempts?
Will you remember me for the work I do in the community outreach we started together?
Maybe you are one of my two biological children? or one of those related to me by marriage?
will you post memorials on facebook and say how much you miss me and how you wished you had spent more time with me?
Will you remember me for the happy times or will you remember me for all the mistakes I made?
Will you miss my overposting and overpoking?
Maybe it will be my cheesecake that you will miss the most.
There was a time in my life when I did things so that I would be remembered. I guess I was looking for recognition, or approval, some type of reward for being a great man. But I'm older now and I see things more clearly. When we do things so that we get things, we're doing it wrong. I was rewarded for the good I did yesterday by being allowed to do more good today.
So, I don't need to remembered for all of those things or by all of those people. Just one will be enough.
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
Hi Bernie Thank goodness's being remembered is not/and never was one of my concerns or motivators . Before alanon I tried to make myself invisible so as not to be blamed,gossiped about or judged and since alanon I live One Day at a Time, trusting HP, placing principles above personalities and never even consider the future.
I think that this post would probably be more appropriate for the AA Board
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 25th of November 2014 07:34:07 AM
I like this, Bernie! I need to remember that just one more day is a blessing, not so I can be remembered, but so that I can be allowed to do good the next day. I appreciate what you have shared.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
