Hi Josiehere~Many people find a sponsor in their F2F group, and I found mine online here. The same principles apply I think, in that you want to take some time and listen to what people say. When you find someone who sounds grounded with good recovery, and seems to make sense most of the time to you, you just ask them. It's a compliment to them so don't be bashful. If the person you like is too busy, unable, or doesn't want to sponsor you, don't take it personally. It's a committment that is serious. In my case the people in my F2F are all wonderful, but I'm older than most of them and needed someone closer to my age, and she has a long time in recovery. I had to ask her twice because the first people I asked either didn't want to sponsor me or it didn't work out. That can happen too. If the person you ask can't sponsor you, ask for some recommendations. I can't say enough good things about my sponsor. I have grown a lot and hope to continue. She is a huge part of my improvement. And so is the board, my F2F, and my daily readings. If you can committ yourself to serious recovery, you can come a long way! I a grateful, alanon member. Lyne

I found mine in my local face to face meetings. She was amazing and by just hearing her ESH in the meetings I new she was an old timer and knew and lived her stuff. Good luck on your search.

Hey Josie...........welcome to the group

I did my sponsor hunt i guess maybe a little unorthodox??  I surfed the posts, like there was an old MSN group where we had similiar functions like this board...you had threads people could start or you could post on another's thread and they also had a chat room for meets.....i did the whole 9 yards....posting my own posts, posting on others posts, going to meets, and i just OBSERVED.....what person did i resonate with???  who had a similiar story as I????  had to be same sex so no chance of romance starting....and i just watched....i found an older gal who had "been around" as to aca/coda/alanon, she did it all and she just appealed to me as a hard worker, but also lets folks think the thing out w/her just guiding......so i asked her to be my sponsor...we ended up trading phone #s and she helped me huge...I had an older male online sponsor..( i know..should be same sex)  but he was the exception......he mentored me on the forgiveness/ turning things over......so i had the two sponsors.....then my BFF of 30 plus years had been sober for a while, by 2004,  I asked HER to sponsor me as well, kinda of a back up , though....well female sponsor died in 2010 so i went to my AA best friend and I said  "can we separate the loving sisterhood we feel from my need of a sponsor???"   she and i talked about and decided to give it a go...when i am needing direction, she is my sponsor and i listen.....otherwise we are best friends...she is the best thing that ever happened to me.......AND she is a hell of a sponsor b/c she uses her loving example as an attraction to program........she tells it liek it is...gives me stuff to journal and ponder, like we might work a step..or a slogan and i am to reflect  what does it bring to mind for me today???  also I kinda support and give her feedback as she is recoverng alcoholic and i am soo thrilled, shes been sober since 1988 or 1999, think it was 1999 b/c she visited me in 2000 and i remember worrying about my birthday dinner, my having a beer...she and her hubby were like "go ahead..this is your b-day and R is not gonna flinch"  she did't ....she keeps it in remission by working her program...........

anyway, i didn't mean to post so much on your board, but that is how i found my sponsor.......I am glad you are seeking a sponsor...they are worth their weight in gold....its a wonderful, intimate relationship and for me it helped me w/my bonding issues and my being able to be intimate and vulnerable w/anyone.........Sending you "sponsor energy" and support

I never asked my sponsor to be my sponsor and my sponsor never volunteered to be my sponsor. We just started talking one day after a meeting and we kept in close contact until he died. I always call him my sponsor because he's the only guy that could get through to me. They say for every nut there's a wrench that fits. I was the nut. He was the wrench. His name was Lloyd. I have a female sponsor now but it's OK....we're married. To each other. Well, we're the exception to the rule. Haha. We each have other sponsors of the same sex because sometimes I need a man's perspective and sometimes she needs a woman's. We sponsor a lot of people and everybody knows everybody and it's like a big family.

I guess if I had one insight into choosing a sponsor it would be to watch people in meetings. Ideally, you want someone who has done their steps and is happy and maybe has had some similar problems to what you have and has overcome them. When you find your prospect invite him or her to a coffee shop and while you're there, watch how they are in the coffee shop. Some people talk a good program but they don't know how to walk it. If this person acts the same in the coffee shop as they do in meetings, might be a better choice than someone who starts gossiping and talking negative, etc etc.

I think Jerry is my sponsor too but neither one of us knows it yet.