Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: trying not to react


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 419
Date:
trying not to react


I received a phone call from a mutual friend of my ex today, she lives with his brother and she hadn't seen me in a while.She told me she saw my ex with an old girl friend  the other day, I am thinking that was awful fast we just broke up.I want to call and give him a piece of my mind so bad but I am sure it would only hurt worse. I just feel like I am disposable.Thank God I see my therapist tomorrow.



__________________

Mary



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Mary, I am glad that you are not reacting to this new information. Good work!!!! In order for me to maintain my peace and not react or go to anger, resentment, self pity or fear, I increased my meetings, made alanon calls, used the literature to read on the subject I was feeling and most importantly I remembered that alcoholism was a disease that I was powerless over and that the actions of the alcoholic were not rational and I should not take them personal. That helped
Glad you shared here

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 419
Date:

Thank You, when I ended the relationship I felt really good,but as time passes I find myself really struggling with a lot of feelings I didn't realize I had,I think I am grieving and I am upset that he isn't, and that makes me upset too because I should be happy that I don't have that drama in my life anymore,ugh! I think this is going to be painful for a while!

__________________

Mary



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Yes Mary Grieving is painful and takes time. You do not have to endure it alone. Come here share, pray and know you are not alone and this too will pass

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:

HI,

I could not agree with Betty more....its not about you, its him.....and yea, they are like fleas....my EX AH , jumped on another female,enabler as soon as i kicked him out....i, too, felt disposable, then i thought, he wants the drinking/partying life, I wanted to live clean...we are not a match...so why get bent out of shape b/c he found someone???  but yea, it wold be 2 more years b4 i found alanon and I am very gr8ful for that.....keep hangin in w/us....we wont' dump you...and you are not disposable to us...OR your maker....you are a valuable, loved part of the universe...just as good as anyone else........sending you hugs of support.........OH...glad u did NOT call him....they love it when they think they have yanked our chain and it hurts.....i learned...never pick up the rope they toss to me..........leave it there.....they can't do anything w/non resistence/non response....

 



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:

My x was dating before he was my x. The fear of being alone is difficult to face. I felt sad for him because he couldn't stand being alone with himself. It also meant he'd leave me alone more if he was dating somebody else. I was glad about that. I doubt an active A is good relationship material. The relationship will probably end for the same reason you ended it. I am glad you are choosing not to act on giving him a good piece of your mind and will be sharing with your therapist instead. You are a gift of love to life that no one can replace or displace. You might be powerless over him and over his disease and over how he spends his time but you can affirm yourself and the healthy choices you are making.

__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 419
Date:

You are right , he was like a flea and like any parasite when there is no more to give they move to another host, that is a sad person .at least I am changing.



__________________

Mary

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.