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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Also a little update about Michael Douglas
Post Info TOPIC: Also a little update about Michael Douglas
missmeliss


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Also a little update about Michael Douglas
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This will sound deranged but, Cat Lady reared her head again just as we were moving out.

Michael Douglas escaped and didn't come back for a couple of days and I started recieving messages from Cat Lady again. It had been months since I had heard from her.

I was so upset and so worried, but her messages were so threatening, i didn't want to engage with her and all she said was "I've seen your cat, he is out again, I will report you" etc.

Anyway 2 days ago when A was here she drove slowly past our house and back again (we live in a court ie dead-end street so there's no reason for her to come down here, she lives behind us on the main road) and A went and confronted her, calmly, "why are you driving past our house and where is our cat". We discussed it and decided he should go as i just cannot keep my cool around her, I get upset and we don't want to provoke any more calls to the police about how we are "bullying" her. When A is sober he is pretty good at staying calm. Well he came back with Michael Douglas terrified and clinging to him for dear life.

Well she'd had him locked up and he has a broken rib. He was so frightened when he brought him back, he got into a kitchen cupboard and stayed there for 2 days, I don't know what happened to him but it was nothing good. I suspect she kicked him in a rage when she saw him out and about and then locked him up. He was also severely dehydrated and starving so, so much for the "cat lover" huh? She tried to tell A that "she thought we had abandoned him and your 'wife" wont answer my calls so I had to keep him". Keep him locked up, injured and without food or water?

So I mentioned it to my new landlady and she said, OMG I'm so sorry if she has you on her radar, she's CRAZY, I won't have anything to do with her. And she told me that she has a history of "rehoming" animals and that she took an old blind dog from one of the neighbours and 'rehomed" it because she decided he wasn't a fit dog-owner and that "we have all lived with her for years and we call her "crazy cat lady", lol. So the name fits.

Anyway she's been leaving messages for me and I haven't replied. Also whenever we go to the supermarket she pulls into the car-park right next to us, A says he thinks we need to call the police and my new landlady says the same thing, go and just tell them what she is doing just so they can log it, just in case. She seems to have fixated on me again, stalking me. I don't think it is about the cat. I havent responded to her and she can't stand it, that's what I think.

Anyway I don't care what she does to me but it isn't safe to have Michael Douglas here so, he has gone to the vet and then he is going to live with A and his brother and his fiance. They are cat-lovers and really concerned and welcoming towards him. Plus he and A have always had a relationship, A loves my kitty and was almost beside himself with worry when he was missing. So I miss the little bugger, I miss his cuddles and kitty-kisses but I think he's moving to a safe place and he's going to be OK. Also I think it's good for A, they have a bond and I think they will look after each other. I hope that doesn't sound shocking, to let Michael Douglas go and live with A, but A really does love him, even when he was at his drunkest and meanest he was always cuddling Michael Douglas and acting as if he was his only friend in the world. I think they will look after each other.

Anyway someone here PM'd me and asked, what about Michael Douglas so, here it is. I miss the little devil but, he has peed on something that is in my room and I haven't found it yet, so he is inspiring me to keep unpacking so I can find the offending item and throw it away and get rid of the smell. Thanks kitty

 



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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
hotrod


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MS M I am happy that Michael Douglas was returned and there is a happy ending to this sad story. This lady is a menace.

Good LUCK finding the offending item. :0

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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PP


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I am glad he is safe and so sad he went through that torture...there are times I question the reasons some people live.



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Paula
missmeliss


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I really think he will be alright, A's brother spoke to me earlier and wanted to know all about Michael Douglas, he spoke of it in terms of 'if we are going to integrate him into our family, we need to know...do you think he would cope with this..."
Cat lovers, as I said.
He was talking about building a cat-enclosure and wondering what I thought. They have an inside cat but he knows Michael Douglas is an outside cat and was worried that they should create an 'inside/outside environment" for him until he gets used to his new home and can safely "come and go" and he was also worried about giving him a safe space until he recovers from his injuries and de-sexing (which is being done at the vet now).
A's brother is pretty awesome, I've seen him in action, if he decides to do something, he plans it, buys the materials and makes it. Properly. So I am thinking, I will offer to pay for the materials.
Anyway I miss my naughty little cat but really, compared to the alternatives, it's a pretty amazing result.



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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
tiredtonite


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I'm glad you got the cat back and it has new home away from this woman. Maybe the suggestion to file a report is a good one. Please take care. ((hugs))) TT



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missmeliss


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I think I should file a report. I am staying in the neighbourhood. I know its projecting but, the lady i am living with says, she tried to befriend her too and she had to disengage. I think maybe when she sees my car here she will think we are talking about her and LOSE the plot. I know that is projecting but when someone is predictably crazy, well I think this is going to inflame her.
She's already hurt us, hurt my cat. She's following me.
It so screws with my way of dealing with things which is, just ignore it, let them crazy themselves out.
This ventures into "confrontation".
In my past experience when i confront someone, everyone around me scurries and hides under the couch. Then later they tell me how "mean" I was.
Maybe this is my next lesson.
How do you confront someone and still apply al-anon?
My only way of confronting is to say what I mean, say it louder, get aggressive and then run and hide if it doesn't work. Maybe this is my next lesson. How do you confront an aggressor and stand your ground? I've always admired people who can do that.
I would really like to stand up to this lady.

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
hotrod


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Probably the best way to stand up to this lady is to stay detached, file a report with the authorities and allow them to speak for you from the vantage point of the law .

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
missmeliss


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I think I agree Betty, but I hate that "scared little mouse" part of me that can't stand up to bullies.
It's the weakness A played on for years.
I want to develop the skills to stand up for me and not get frightened or feel guilty.
Is that something I can do with al-anon tools?


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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
hotrod


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Yes certainly you can and have been doing just that . Believe it or not I have seen that scared little mouse called"Melly" change into a confident assured woman who can drive and validate herself . Remember that the" wisdom to know the difference" is that we know when to take a stand and when to allow others to do it for us.

You are on your way Keep doing your asset and gratitude list and you will soon feel that truth.


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
missmeliss


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So keep doing the next right thing and let HP help me find my power?
That's what I am hearing.
There is an angry part of me that just wants to stand up and scream.
Thank-you Betty, I wish I could meet you in person. You are such a formidable woman.
I am really blessed to have you on my side.



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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
hotrod


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It is a pleasure to share the journey and my growth is all thanks to HP. alanon and one day at a time.

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Mattie


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I wonder if Crazy Cat Lady is also an A.

In any case treating her as if she's an A, using all the tools in the toolbox, would seem to be in order - disengaging, not trying to 'win' an argument, not trying to convince her of anything.  We already have lots of practice at talking to crazy people!  And we know how it turns out.  Take good care of yourself!



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ClearTheFog


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On the subject of making that transition from being a really timid person afraid to stand up for herself, to someone able to communicate assertively but not rudely or in an out-of-control fashion, I always think of the scene in 101 Dalmations where Roger is trying to stand up to Cruella and not sell her the puppies. He is taking the first step, going out on a limb, absolutely terrified. Such a great scene!

www.youtube.com/watch (about minute 1.15 in this clip).

In my first attempts to stand up to someone about something, this is exactly how I sounded! For me it was one of those things that I got better at, with practice. Although I don't really know how much sense can be had when arguing with a crazy person, so maybe you'd do best to just be cordial and avoid her like the plague. I'm so sorry for Michael Douglas's broken rib.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Also a little update about Michael Douglas