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Post Info TOPIC: really need to get well


Senior Member

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Posts: 287
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really need to get well


I went back to the doctors. The last one was dismissive,your stressed,stop it. Yeah,that's gonna happen. I've been attending meetings online, I need a sponsor,I'm praying. Today I found another quack,he was kindly. He prescribed meds. I feel upset but I also know this hsomething I sadly need for this point in time because my anxiety is through the roof,and I'm not coping. I need this help. But I'm deeply sad that this is where ibe come to in life.so messed up from a marriage that's supposed to ne your sanctuary and instead is pulling me into a hole.so I guess this is my connect to step one emotionally,that my life has become unmanageable. There is such a lot of sadness that comes with that admission. Detachment emotionally is for me occurring gradually as I come to realise how little concern this person I loved has for my wellbeing. Perhaps forgiveness will come when I can connect spiritually with the realisation that he is unable to care. The incredible anger I now see as I write this is something I need to take medication to dull,because I have so much responsibility that there simply isn't time to meltdown and then gradually come through it.my children need me to have it together. Ok, I think I can now accept this help to get me through to the next step.but for today I am a very long way from forgiveness.



-- Edited by aquamom23 on Wednesday 29th of October 2014 05:37:15 AM

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
Date:

Aquamom, I so understand and am happy that you have received Meds. to help with the pain and anxiety. Step one is indeed the most painful. I know that I experienced considerable pain for months because I could not "Let Go". When I finally"admitted" that I had no other choice, I surrendered, admitting I was powerless and my life unmanageable.Immediately I moved to Step 2 ,believing that a Power Greater than myself could restore me to sanity. For me that Power was alanon, the principles and philosophy. I so needed to believe that this" Power" could restore me as I was terrified that alcoholism , the power greater than I, would destroy me.
Forgiveness for me was way down the line I believe that when I reached Step 9 I was ready to forgive and let go of the anger and resentment, so that I can feel the serenity, and joy of life.

Keep coming back there is hope

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3964
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We do what we need to do until we no longer need to do what we are doing.  There were times I needed meds and felt shame for needing them. I have learned the shame is most destructive and the meds can be a blessing.  Step one and surrender were so hard for me, as I warriored my way through the early and mid stages of my life.  When I was able, and I emphasize able, to surrender tiny bits at a time, healing moved in.  I really did and do embrace one day at a time, one step at a time.



-- Edited by PP on Wednesday 29th of October 2014 08:04:42 AM

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Paula



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1258
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Medications are here for a reason, there is no shame in needing a medication if you truly do need it. Just take things one day a time and, if the meds start helping, maybe it will give you a chance to breathe and find some much needed rest and balance in your life? You don't have to bite off a huge chunk of the forgiveness cookie here. You can start small and forgive by working the steps, by searching for meaning within yourself, the forgiveness will come as you work on YOU! It's not something you can force on yourself. Just take the next right step and work with a sponsor so that you can at least see a path before you that will lead you to true forgiveness. Be gentle with yourself.

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 13696
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Over time the lessons mount up and become huge and reliable and life on many levels will change for the better.  This was the time for me where I had to admit that I didn't know and didn't even know that I didn't know about alcoholism and it's large picture which was my life.  Admitting I was powerless on a surrender level was key.  Before that I did it on thinking level and didn't have it intuitively and during that time I tried to handle it in my mind alone which was broken, I was still living with the drinking and drugging and the infidelities and disrespect and disloyalty.  When I was done...that all when away and I found that part of recovery called detachment. I no longer participated in the disabling part of the disease.   Keep coming back AM...this is home.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 531
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Hi aquamom. I'm glad you were able to get some meds for the anxiety.Alcoholism takes a tremendous toll on our bodies and most of the time, we don't realize how bad it has become. I'm glad that you were able to recognize that you needed help, and you reached out. When I remember how low I had fallen before finding Al-Anon, I tremble. Getting better and being able to forgive takes time. For me, forgiveness has been more of an evolution and it's still an ongoing process.  

Keeping coming back and take one day, one minute at a time.

 



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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold  O-on  P-pain E-ends

Linda-



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5075
Date:

Your making fast progress. Working the steps already and accepting you powerlessness. Keep on like this and pretty soon you will be loving life, no kidding. Keep on keeping on. It didnt take me too long and I was like a different person. Im such a grateful member, glad your here.x

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bud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2071
Date:

I'm glad that you've reached out for help and can have medicine that will help give you traction so that you can better focus on moving forward without suffering. I find myself returning to acceptance frequently- it is the key to resolving my problems. Alanon has taught me that I cannot force my will, that I need to accept life on life's terms; the same applied for forgiveness- I couldn't force it, but I prayed for it. After many, many months, I woke up one morning and the resentment was gone and replaced with forgiveness... keep working the program, forgiveness will come.

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