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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Scrambled Eggs
Post Info TOPIC: Scrambled Eggs
Flower49


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Date:
Scrambled Eggs
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Hi everyone, been a bit since I have been here and I can tell you I notice the difference of relaxing in my recovery! Right now I feel like scrambled eggs for sure! I have my AH in a 3/4 way house who wants me to just go along with everything they do and say even if it doesn't feel right to me. So for example, he is supposed to be able to have more freedoms, however the house manager runs the house as if it were a halfway house and freedoms don't jive with how he sees others should work recovery. So on the suggestion from our marriage counselor I had started giving my husband a ride home form his job, which gave us about 7-8 minutes of a little time together. In the house meeting last week, the group of guys including my husband determined that was enabling and that is one of my worst character defects so now I don't give him a ride based on that discussion, which I really appreciated that I had any voice in that whole thing, but hey whatever. Yesterday, his Probation Officer decided that the marriage counselor doesn't understand how the house works where my husband lives and told him to tell the marriage counselor to call the house and find out how he can work his suggestions in based on my husbands needs, rules, etc. OK, so once again, I have no voice in that. I started to feel extremely angry, hurt, resentful towards a whole host of people that are involving themselves in my attempt at seeing if the marriage can be saved and the waters of everything becoming really muddy.

It dawned on me last night I have been kind of slacking on my program. I know part of that is that quite honestly, I am just sick of everything always being recovery 24 hours a day. I am sick of all the judging of me. If I decide I want to make my husband a batch of cookies, some home made soup, that to me is not enabling or controlling, acting on the suggestions from the marriage counselor who by the way has 48 years of sobriety and has a speciality in treating the entire family is not enabling, controlling, nor rescuing.  I just really felt scrambled up all over the place. I now see that part of those feelings are the direct result of being a slacker!.

 



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Linda

Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries

Matthew 6:34
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
Date:
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Hey this is YOUR marriage between hp and you. this is YOUR recovery. I would be telling them all to mind their own business.

You are working hard at this mess with his boloney.

If you feel comfy with your counselor so be it. NO one else has the right to stick their noses in. If your A has any kahoodies he can tell them this is HIS recovery, too. He is suppose to live his program.Are they babysitting him or supporting HIS program?

I hope you keep your strong sense of what you believe to be right and not allow them to interfere.

hugs honey!!!!



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
bud


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2071
Date:
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Flower, that's a lot of chaos going on there! On one hand, it's positive that so many people want the situation improved; on the other hand, it can sound like too many cooks in the kitchen. I've found it helpful to keep things simple- first and foremost, there is you and there is your HP. You are in control of your decisions and actions- there are 12 steps plus traditions, and slogans. I'm glad you recognized and chose to work your program to help find some serenity, despite what is going on around you. Its progress not perfection. Please be good to you.


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