Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: The After Al-Anon Side of Life


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1277
Date:
The After Al-Anon Side of Life


My mom had bladder removal surgery; her kids, four of them anyway, sat around a table in the waiting room playing pinochle and giggling like we always do; I'm sure some of the other people waiting thought we were horribly irreverent but it was our way of getting through it. She got through it, it took over four hours and when the surgeon came towards us and started talking we were all relieved that she made it, it went well, the outlook was good. She's in recovery, can't eat, getting grumpy because she wants to eat, ha, grumpy is good, grumpy is alive!

Four of my mother's kids waited for the outcome of the surgery; one of mother's kids has been angry at her for ten years and wants to stay angry.

When I was a child my siblings would circle around me chanting "mad lady, mad lady, pee the bed, mad lady" you know how kids are. We all grew up, I know we were just kids and "mad lady" no longer has an effect on me.

My brother pointed out, and we all laughed hard, that now my sister is the mad lady!

Where am I going with this? I don't know. What is my point? Not sure - I know that I didn't sit and worry about it, accepting that whatever was going to happen, would. My mother would survive or not and no amount of worrying would change the outcome. She has a long recovery road ahead, bladder removal is a big surgery, living with the collection bag not something we would choose to do. But she's alive and we are not planning her funeral, we get whatever time there is with her and that is God's will.

Music has always meant a lot to me - I've been thinking about the childhood Sunday School song - I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart - there's a line in the song that goes: "I've got the peace that passes understanding, down in my heart" - Sitting here, on the other side of Al-Anon, the after Al-Anon side of life, I understand that line SO much more deeply now. I like this kind of peace.

__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3496
Date:

Hugs .. you know what I like best about being a grown-up? My childhood has less to do with the woman I am today! That feels good! I'm glad surgery went well and you were all able to have a giggle. Hugs again s :)

__________________

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop

PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:

I am glad your moms surgery is over and the outcome looks good.  What a gift that most of her children were there enjoying time together.  A post of hope for those not yet able to see there is hope even during dark, worrisome times.  (((LMH))) prayers for your moms continued recovery.



__________________

Paula



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:

So glad your mums ok, lovely post. Thanks for sharing, your acceptance and peace come right through.x

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Lovely inspiring post likemyheart. I do so understand that"after alanon feeling deep within."
Prayers for your mom and your entire family

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

Life on live's terms sister...love the post and the vision of a pinochle game enjoyed by all while life went on.  That's an acceptance share and I'm grateful for every one of those I can read.   (((((Hugs))))) for you, your Mom and the family.   smile



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1277
Date:

Mom's doing great, able to eat jello and have some broth and, most importantly - COFFEE! Serenity - there are things about my childhood I embrace - "mad lady" as horrid as it was to endure, helped to make me the person I am today - I wouldn't trade being me for being anybody (well, almost anybody, any BODY might be tempting to switch - ya know, one that can eat triple cheeseburgers without gaining an ounce?) I am a product of my past and the troubles I've been through make me better able to help someone else through troubles. I love that we can get together and laugh, laughing till you have to get up and away to catch your breath - not much can beat that feeling! I think losing my father suddenly 31 years ago helped me to see that we only have the time we have right now - to borrow from LOTR - the important question is, what to do with the time we are given. My sister's anger is such a waste of time and energy. Laughing till you can't breath - perfect use of time and energy! Cheers to mom and a speedy recovery so she can get back home to her too many cats as soon as possible. Thanks!

__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 295
Date:

So glad your Mom is doing well. It sounds like you are too - your post is a breath of fresh air and so true! Anger is a poison that only affects the one who is angry...I hope your sister will forgive for her own sake. Hugs!

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.