Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: mixed


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 27
Date:
mixed


I have been living apart from my ah for 4 yrs and about two weeks ago he seemed to decide that he wanted to come back.  The week before this he had a really  embarrassing incident as a result of his drinking on the football grandfinal day. I have been trying to understand why after 4 yrs of him living his life, working hard and drinking hard, why was he trying to come back to live here.

Before I started to type this I had no idea what  his reasons might have been. But I think that him experiencing such embarrassment had been his motivator. 

I am not responsible for him and he is not responsible for me. And at the moment this is where I am with the mixed feelings that have stirred. 



__________________

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:

Im not sure ive got the gist of what your saying, but I think your considering taking back your alcohoilc ex after 4 years. If thats correct then is he sober and in aa? These are the only two conditions I would ever consider for more than 2 seconds. And I would most likely still say no, never, ever.

Everyones different but ive been on that rollercoaster and I got stuck for almost 20 years, that was ebough for me to last me a lifetime. Im free and I plan to stay free. Maybe youve forgotten the reality, the reasons why you split, maybe youve exaggerated any good times you had, maybe your just lonely. None of this is any reason to play with fire again, well not for me, especially that he wants to use you because he feels bad about some embarrising incident. No way is that good enough. You deserve much better reasons than that, love and care would be more like it.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:

I forgot to mention, alanon is a recovery program for people affected by alcoholism, I highly recommend it.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:

It comes down to " what do YOU want" his motivation is his....what is your motivation to take him back if your thinking about it

Welcome to MIP Kim...you are not alone so pull up a chair and learn all you can before you make you decisions.

((( hugs )))


__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.