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Post Info TOPIC: The program sinks in


~*Service Worker*~

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The program sinks in


So I picked up a 6 year medallion at one of the groups I used to attend in my first year.  Yes, it's AA, but it's still the 12 steps and the journey is not so different, as I was leaving an A at the same time and working on tremendous codependency issues also.  In any case, the overwhelming feedback from all the members was that they recalled that I cried and complained about life constantly for about a year, but did little other than showing up and utilizing support (and not drinking), to make my life better.  They all remarked on how different I was and how much more positive and goal oriented, and that it was great that I freed myself from that awful pain that the disease of alcoholism had left me with.

My point is, it took a year and some of crying and complaining and moaning for me to start finally working on the SECOND part of that serenity prayer which was to change the things I could rather than be depressed and act like a victim.  I knew I had a victim/martyr complex and would even say so in meetings, but still couldn't stop whining and complaining all the time.  I guess I had a lot of pain that needed to make it's way from inside my heart and mind to a patient and caring (but guiding) group of people's ears. 

Nobody at the time called me a whiner or a cry baby.  They all remarked how it was hard to watch me go through the early tribulations (this is a group comprised entirely of old-timers and I was like their "baby" for a while pretty much), but they knew it would click eventually since I kept reaching out and was not taking obvious steps backwards even though I seemed stuck for quite a while.

So, if you've been hanging around the rooms for a bit and things are still rough..,Hang on longer.  I forgot it took close to 2 years for me to finally get to a point where life was MUCH better and I presented that from the inside out.  I forgot that and sometimes I also forget that it has to be that way for some of you guys who are new to working a program.  It will sink in, just keep at it and don't abandon your program/the program no matter what.  The program will sink in.



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PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Being on this board with you for the past few years and reading your posts has provided insights not only into my experiences but into my husbands as well.  I have been able to understand more compassionately, some of what I had and he had been going through  early on recovery.  Hearing his articulations, yours and others on the forum has given me a broader perspective that I have and continue to appreciate.



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Paula



~*Service Worker*~

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Hey Mark, Congratulations on 6 years one day at a time. I rejoice in your recovery in both programs.

Program sinking in? It works like that for me, too. Just this morning as I was almost waking up, I started fussing about someone I wished behaved the way I want. HA I opened my eyes and thought this is like reading about one of us in our painful situations, and reading it I think (but don't say) RUN AWAY. Aha to me this morning. This is my opportunity to accept another thing I cannot change. This is my opportunity to be in my free life and not to lose peace about someone else's behavior.

Thank you for this most welcome reminder.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Hi ,

I too get so so much from your shares.

It really is a drip drip effect.

every time I read a reading I get something new.

some people unfortunately leave just before their miracle happens

hugs tracy xxx



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~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks for sharing, Mark! 6 years is awesome and honestly, I would have thought you were a serious long timer based on the growth and maturity you show here. Congratulations and thank you for reminding me that it's always progress, not perfection. Everyone works their programs at their own rate and I know I get a bit tired of the whining in meetings from people who have been coming as long as me or even longer. God's path for them is perfect and I remind myself to be patient because no one knows their path except for their HP. I also have to remember the whining I did early on in my program, too. OH, wait, maybe that was just last week, LOL???? Have a great day everyone!

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!


~*Service Worker*~

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Congratulations Mark You have worked hard and achieved the rewards. I began to feel better the moment I sat down in an alanon meeting although I did not speak or share with anyone for over a year. The feeling of connection and warmth among members touched my spirit and I began to grow on the inside
Nice uplifting share

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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((((((Mark)))))),

I am so grateful that you share your journey here, I am sure you change many lives with your posts, but I know that you have touched my life in so many positive ways. Thank you for todays reminder - to me it speaks of patience, an asset that I tend to forget about.

Congratulations on a remarkable journey and inspiring growth. You are precious.



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Senior Member

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Ho Ho, your 6 yrs old now...with a Masters and chronologically in your 30's ! That should make life interesting....

Thanks for the post



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~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you so much for the post. Your not much older than my son and his forced sobriety started at the age of 36. I can only hope in his two years of sobriety in prison he will find his will and courage to change his life when he is released. I do see him growing on the inside because after 7 months their is no whining at all about anyone doing him wrong. LOL he might complain sometimes about a inmate or DO but all in all is doing much better.

((( hugs )))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

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Senior Member

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Congratulations Mark and thank you so much for being here. I too learn a lot from your shares.

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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.



~*Service Worker*~

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Great post. Congratulations on the 6 years.
I was a bit different. I was so ready for the new way of thinking, it was like I had already lost or let go of myself that I soaked up this program like a sponge from day one. Ive been working backwards almost because I had a brilliant first year then it got harder but I think my recovery is going deeper now im almost 3 years, well at easter. Ive still not got through all the steps, stalling for some reason but I certainly want what youve got. I love your esh, open and honest and full of patience. Your braw pinkchip.x

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~*Service Worker*~

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Woot woot and we were jus reading about this fact in How Alanon Works, page 79 - 81 I believe .. it covered the Serenity Prayer and talked about what that all means, granted not a big section .. however it is a section that is utmost importance. Especially in the middle of chaos.

Hugs S :)

PS - Pink, .. always inspired by your posts and it always reminds me to look forward and not stare in the rear view mirror.



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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop



~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks for sharing Mark. You give me hope for my husband, and hope is a good thing. I remember when I walked through those Al-Anon doors. The meeting had not started and people were sitting around a table laughing and talking. I wondered how could they be laughing??? What in this world was there to laugh about?? Now, almost 6 months later, I find myself sitting around that same table, and I'm laughing!!

All I can say is it feels good to laugh!!

Thanks again and biggest CONGRATS on your 6 years!!



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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold  O-on  P-pain E-ends

Linda-



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Pinkchip - I've only been in this board a short time. I don't post very often but I read the board EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Your responses to me and others leave me with nothing but total admiration & respect for your experience & advice. You are kind but honest and to the point. You don't beat around the bush. You say exactly what you believe even if it's not what what we want to hear -- it's what we need to hear. You've helped me see things for what they really are - no worse or no better. Congratulations for how far you've come. And please know how much you help others. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you guys for the responses and the congrats on the anniversary! XXOO :)

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~*Service Worker*~

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I too value your opinion pink. I often need help understanding my dry A .
And the whys ? Before i can accept the truths and really work on letting
Go so I can heal. Congratulations on six years!!

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Veteran Member

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Congratulations Mark, way to go, fabulous, 6 years is huge, keep up the hard work, you are a true asset to me, helping me understand A's, hope you know what a big help you are to us trying to understand this disease.



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Nothing has changed but my attitude, everything has changed.
bud


~*Service Worker*~

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Congratulations and thank you for the inspiration and encouragement!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Congratulations Pink! I am so glad you are here! Sending you love and support on your continued journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."



~*Service Worker*~

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Congratulations on 6 years. I can't even begin to explain how much I needed to be reminded of this today. I'm almost to my 3 year Al-Anon anniversary. I've always appreciated your shares. Thank you :)



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Senior Member

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Congratulations, you are an inspiration!



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Linda

Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries

Matthew 6:34



~*Service Worker*~

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(((Mark)))  Where would we be without you, brother?  So glad you chose to enter the doors and to surrender 6 years ago.  You make my life better.  Thank you.



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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig

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