The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Step 3 is a hard one. Easy to say, give your will over to the care of god as you understand him.
My will is annoying me, its everywhere, im seeing my will in action more and more. In conversations, when I think im being funny and jokey, my will, im wanting attention or self gratification. In most conversations I can get carried away and have a gossip, my will, its wrong but I still do it because I want to, could be people pleasing, could be I want to hear about others misfortunes to make myself feel better or bigger. Im not too sure on the reasons for gossip. When I jump from one task to the next and just satisfy my wants in each moment, thats my will. My higher powers will is logical, doing what needs to be done.
Im beginning to understand the idea of my will and I can see that when we act from our own will it can harm us. Procrastination, perfectionism, impulsiveness and many other of my shortcomings come from me acting on my will. Doing and saying without much thought. When ive got my program and I act from his will, everything is much better. Life is calmer, smoother, less guilt, more kindness for others and myself.
Dear LC I applaud your honesty and willingness to go inward and discover your motivations.
I know that I was astounded when I dug through all my self justifications, blame and even my manipulations by being kind and generous, to discover my will buried under all of these pretenses.
My will wanted my way, and I was willing to sacrifice anything to get it. What a revelation and powerful awareness for me.
You are doing well and you're Step Work is spectacular. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Wow El-cee, I'm bowled over by your share. Your honesty is awesome and makes me realize that step 3 is going to be a real soul searcher for me. Thank you for sharing your journey.
