The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Things are going really well in so many areas, but with my busy life, school, work, kids and now a boyfriend I try to see once a week, my lack of time I am noticing things happening with my 16 year old, lack of communication and with my 6 year old behaviorally acting out at school and boys and girls club after school program. So I called and started counseling for all of us. I am feeling guilty and inadequate trying to do it all as a lone parent. My boyfriend is easy and low maintenance and I am feeling guilty for even having him, but he soothes my soul and helps me feel centered in my crazy life, a hug when I need it, an ear when I need to vent and support and understanding in my day to day life. I feel like I have found my life partner. Everything comes at a price however. We took our kids to six flags last weekend and we all had a great time. My little one whenever we do anything whether with my bf or not acts up and is just my higher maintenance kid and we all know it and just try to flow with it. I am having a hard time with my classes and I am struggling making myself study when I feel like I need to be spending more time with my kids. I am halfway through this semester and doing okay but, I have spread myself thin and my new job I got a few months ago requires more of me physically and wears me out every weekend after 2 long shifts. My kids are getting a worn out frustrated Mom and I am missing my sponsor right now in a big way, her husband has agree to sponsor me after her passing 4 months ago and it just isn't the same. I just need a different perspective. I am feeling very inadequate in so many areas right now and don't have much in my tanks. Please bring on the ESH. Sending you all love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Breaking free, I can feel the anxiety in your words. You're going through a tough time right now. Keep the focus on what works for you and streamline as best you can to make the most of the time you have. Being a single parent is hard. Very hard. Remember, one day at a time.
Breaking Free I salute you Working, school, a relationship and a single parent. I know that I could not do all this I elected to let go of school until I could devote my entire self to the learning .
Prayers for you and your family
Reading your post brought me right back to those days of single parenthood. I, too, rarely felt like I was enough or could do enough. Knowing what I know of you, I am sure you are a wonderful mother and I know hearing this from me is probably not going to make a difference in how you feel. It is just darn hard being a mom and a woman. My eldest daughter is 35 now with 2 little ones of her own. She tells me I did a great job and always felt loved. Hearing that she always felt loved tells me I did a good enough job raising her and my 3 others in spite of my flaws. Here is a big hug and affirmation that your are enough. Blessings, BF, this too shall pass.
Love what pp said, your good enough bf. It could be a matter of working out first thing first. Looking closely and seeing what can go or be put on the backburner for a while. Can you take a break from college or work for a short while? It might give you and the girls more time together, its easier said than done though.
I wish I had spent more time with my kids, I had my nose in books too and I do regret it, although, I also set them a good example. Im not sure what the answers are but I know how you feel and its really tough. You will work it out, ask your higher power to help you with this.x
I can totally relate and the reality is I'm only human and I AM good enough. I try my best and if I fall down then I fall down. For me accepting that everything is never going to be perfect and being ok in that is where I am at. I'm struggling with the kids and things that are going on. They insist they are ready for me to date and I'm telling them .. LOL .. no they aren't .. I'm not ready.
I'm sooo happy for you because you are just doing the next right thing. I mean seriously when I need perspective you give it. If things aren't working out with new sponsor maybe it's better for you to find someone else. I bet he has a lot of grief to deal with and trying to stick to his own program at the moment, doesn't mean you can't still work with him .. just maybe it would help to work with someone new.
Big hugs sis .. it will be ok!!
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I totally understand. The ESH i can offer is just from my own experience. I, too feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I have an ex husband who is difficult and a STBXAH who hasn't worked since last January. I am angry, to be honest. We might lose our house, we owe the IRS. Currently I work part time and I rely too much on overtime to make ends meet, so I am applying for a full time job.
I belong to a divorce support group. It's helping me a lot...even though they have crosstalk...lol...it isn't Al anon. It's Christian based, but I think you can use HP in place of God or Jesus. They stress the importance of getting to know your HP and understanding your HP loves you no matter what. I am trying to form a relationship with my HP and use that as a source of comfort during hard times. I always feel better after going to this group and Al anon. Are you able to go to meetings and/or talk to people in similar situations? It also helps me to come here and vent.
Just know, you are not alone. You're doing a great job!
I could hear the stress just reading your words. I can't add much more to what others have said but I can tell you that you are a great mom and a beautiful woman who has awareness and strength and perseverance, no matter what gets thrown at you. Sending you lots of hugs and support today!!!! (((Breakingfree)))
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Nobody can be do all those million things and do them all great. I can only suggest go easy on yourself, prioritize, and simplify to whatever degree you can without sacrificing your goals. I admire your drive.
If I read you right Breaking Free you have lots of demanding, but positive calls on you at the moment. We all know that when we are tired we are capable of acting out ourselves. I like the suggestion of prioritising.
As I read your post I am reminded of so many articles that I've read and listened to where remarkable people are describing their childhood and most of them value their mothers efforts to do their best, even when overcoming hard times, and most of the marvel, as adults, about how their mothers coped with it all - warts and all! You love your children, I am sure that they feel that and I am sure that you feel good when you give love. The fact that you are not there physically as much as you would like to be is just how it needs to be for now. Keep telling them they have a safe home and a safe heart to come home to - even if you are a bit cranky from time to time! Be kind to your self, you are a generous giving person, what can you do to recharge?
