The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not new to the problem of alcoholism. I live with my AH -married 25 years and have finally decided it was time to jump off the denial train and start detaching myself from his problem.My husband crossed the line into addiction about 6 years ago becoming progressively worse.You all know how the story goes, unfortunately.I am living a love story gone bad, a living nightmare because I havent been able to pull myself awayuntil now.I have begun to attend local ALanon meetings (again) and this time I get it.
I have now begun to take over all the finances as to avoid any surprises in my new future.I have unfortunately made the mistakes of believing him many, many times before when he told me he wasnt buying alcohol and he would stop drinking for good, yada, yada, yada, only to find out he was running up credit card bills and drinking every chance he could get.
I know youve all heard this stuff before.Its wonderful to come here and see that Im not alone online.
((Jupiter))) Welcome to Miracles in Progress. I am pleased to read that you are attending alanon and are connecting with the principles and tools The program works so please keep coming back and sharing the journey.
WELCOME....and not only are you NOT alone, but WOW!!! new and you already are getting a feel as to what to do to take care of you....I am impressed.....yep...taking over the finances, detachment and doing your own thing..living your own life and letting him live his......
if he doesn't get into recovery and arrest this and STAY sober , he will get progressively worse and worse....death awaits him if it continues.....its a sad sad thing, but you are already taking measures to take care of you, so whether you leave him or stay, he wont' be able to mess up your life too badly if you keep dong the great work that you are doing....taking over ALL the finances....i would make everything separate in case he screws up and gets sued.....hard when you joint own a house, but sounds to me like you are already "on it" as far as covering your own butt.....If he is driving drunk, like my ex did, i saw an attorney to see how i could protect ME in the event that he got into an accident and hurt someone...AND i called the cops on him when i knew he was driving drunk.....
I am so glad you are going to the meetings...maybe you can find a seasoned old timer after a while to guide you on the steps, slogans, literature and stuff, that is what I did, i just asked the "oldies" "hey how do i maximize my program???" as i needed industrial strength alanon......
and you are SO NOT ALONE.....ALL of us have a loved one who is drinking or drugging ....with me it is both on the part of family members...I am now divorced but i have 2 brothers and a drug addict close niece who only recently got out of her last "visit" in prison (did a year for attacking a cop while high on meth or cocaine) She is out now, been out for a while and i am praying she stays clean, but brothers refuse recovery they "don't need it" oh yea!!! I know I do, so here i am......so glad u r here.....I promise you, if you keep workin it the way you are, you will notice a BIG difference in your attitude and your life........IN SUPPORT
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thanks Talmud & Neshema2 for such a warm welcome! I already feel like I belong :)
Please dont give me all that credit! I attended my first ever Alanon meeting six years ago and walked away after 5 weeks saying, I cant do this as I love him so much. I became very acquainted with the horrible effects of addiction and codependence in the past six years. I unwisely thought I could help him control his addiction by following him around, protecting him from himself and so on. Well, we all know how that turned out right?
Although, I do love him (the sober person) Im not keen on getting lied to and left alone while he makes love to his bottles of booze. I had to learn the hard way so.Im back and this time Im here to stay. Not only have I taken over the finances, I opened up my own checking/savings account and Im actually thinking of divorcing him on paper as to protect myself. I have been reading every book I could find on the subject over the past six years and all of a sudden, two weeks ago, it just clicked. I decided its time for me to get my head out of the sand and start living and loving my life again. Im planning on attending a healing weekend workshop for women in recovery sometime in February, 2015. I will continue with my local meetings and move forward.
All the best, Jupiter
-- Edited by Jupiter on Sunday 19th of October 2014 09:58:18 PM
Aloha Jupiter and welcome to the family from the Pacific...good to see that you found the doors of the Al-Anon Family Groups and that it is working for you. Keep coming back and sharing your ESH with us and the newbies that find our front door also. ((((hugs))))
