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Well I guess i didn't lose anything....as illustrated by email exchange below
should have put this on new thread......oh well its here and the original.....i wasn't thinking
HIS EMAIL TO ME
HIS "AMEND" to me when I called him out as illustrated in my letter to him, re: his calling me at work to use me again.....
you answered the call, I'm at work is everything ok. That didn't encourage any hi how are ya small talk. The only reason I called on you to ask that question is that a couple years back you were tutoring me and helped me set it up, it made sense to me if I had a question about adding a function to it, I should ask you.
Since I had a pop up open, demanding I do something before I could proceed, I wasn't going any further until I made a choice. Since you were not available, I called on a customer who is a book keeper and asked him about it. He doesn't use QB for invoicing, so he didn't have a ready answer, but he helped me make a choice that qb was content with, so I could finish my work.
He also recommended a book by Laura Madeira, QB 2012 in depth. I seldom need to change anything on my QB, but I will go online for answers when I do have a question, so I don't stretch your boundaries or comfort zones.
Best wishes,
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MY ANSWER TO HIS EMAIL
Rosie Lightshines
i said "is everthing ok" b/c i am considerate and thought maybe emergency happened since I "hear from you so much" sorry...my bad for just asking a ?? to one I never hear from "is everything ok" like no accident or death or something....Glad u got help an a book.....seems you not only no longer want to nurture our friendship, but for all the "dimes" i gave you through the years, you don't even have a nickel for me......its ok...I accept it....but to be contacted when you only have a question is out and out usary and I called you out on it....of course my part in this "relationship" or "friendship" was to do all the effort in it while u did none....again...my lesson............
I truly wish you the best on your journey....I know in this exchange I was correct to stand up for me....as a coda i have to watch b/c i do have the tendency to do more effort in friendship than the other does......only hearing from you when you have a question is no more acceptable to me...I deserve either to be let go if relationship has died, OR to be loved for myself, not what ??s i can answer then "poof" gone till the next question......I only want to remember the good recovery times we had and let go of any bad feelings....my part in this was letting this one sided friendship go on and on, answering ??s only but never any interest in ME or my poor Daisy leaving when I took time out of MY busy schedule and MY heaps of stuff on MY plate to send condolence to YOU re: Kindre's death....I was not going to diss you like you did to me....repaying coldness like that with coldness only brings me down and i won't do that..........we were in each other's lives for a season and now that has ended, I see...I see no chance for reconcile, so sadly, I let you go in the course of taking care of me.....Its that simple....i want friendships to be a mutual nurturing experience or I let it go...........take care......I only want to remember the good.....PEACE
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-- Edited by neshema2 on Sunday 19th of October 2014 07:31:47 AM
-- Edited by neshema2 on Sunday 19th of October 2014 07:49:51 AM
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
(((Neshema))) I have found that mixing business, program and freindship does not work well I am sorry that this has gone down as it has.
YEP......U R right......a sad lesson for me..... i can see program and maybe friendship but not the business end of it....oh well...this usary has gone on long enough, i think i did my grieving a while ago....now it is just letting it go...U R right.....the "business" end of it didn't happen till later in our friendship/recovery.....thats when things began to go sour, when he would get "free bee" advice and NO 'How are you??" "whats up in your travel????" no more caring about me....just getting his danged questions answered......oh well...i put an end to it and its gone ..thanks for your input...I agree with it
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I agree with Betty, it can be hard to mix the 3 together....hugs
yes, ladies, you are correct.....WOW!!! learning again....sick of it being painful, but ya know??? a real, true friend would have wanted to work it out w/me......i am letting it go TODAY....not gonna let it sour my energy.....i posted twice, now to vent it out, to grieve it out.......now its time to STOP grief and EMBRACE the good....so i will put this to rest, once and for all.....i took him off my facebook, will take him off my phone and its over...done.......hugs to you two for illustrating for me important points....i don't do business w/family so it makes sense what you and Betty said......I am more concerned about my BFF who lost her sister and can't do anything about it right now, so I have decided to get my work out in.....shower.....get out in the nice weather and see daughter #2 if she is still home or maybe my good friend accross the street, but i want to focus on HAPPY stuff.........thanks HUGS back at ya
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
well ladies, I lied...I said above that I was "done" NOW he has sent me nasty post on FB after i unfriended him accusing me of emotional blackmail and manipulation., claiming that this was a business relationship (dunno when it went from friends to business, but oh well) , AND if it was BUSINESS, why, after all those ???s answered did he not cut me a check and say "i know i got some advice from you, but i am sending you a check b/c it is right thing to do???" How many times have I paid someone when they didn't ask for it even if it is a 6 pack of beer for short help.......
I said "thank you for your share" thats all....OK I have to figure out how to block one on this facebook that keeps changing.....I am DONE
thanks for letting me vent....he is angry and i'm the one who was used and stood up for me and I was NOT mean.....so good on me!!!!!!
-- Edited by neshema2 on Sunday 19th of October 2014 01:36:21 PM
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Betty and Paula you both were SO right....NEVA mix friendship or family with business and probably program too.........MY bad....MY lesson.......Lessons can suck!!!!!
-- Edited by neshema2 on Sunday 19th of October 2014 01:38:38 PM
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
One of the things I've learned in naming something I've experienced in relationship to another that I can expect that sometimes the other will react and sometimes the other will think deeply about what I've said and agree later. I can never predict the outcome. If I have taken the time to really think through my options and know that the most loving thing for me to do is to state what I'm thinking, feeling and experiencing in another, then I go ahead and say it - just between me and the other. The outcome may not be to my liking and its still the outcome that resulted from my saying what was true for me. The important thing for me is not the outcome but whether or not I acted from a place of integrity within me. It isn't about the other person so much as it is about me taking care of myself in relationships and not pretending to think and feel one way when I really think and feel another way. I know myself well enough to know that I am kind, that I don't go around looking for fights or making enemies, and that I care enough about myself and others to say what I mean, mean what I say without saying it means when I see no other healthy option than to speak. The other person can react or respond in the way they see fit. That isn't my business. Its just my business to be accessible, honest and true to myself.
not to long ago, I could have read your post and had a LOT of ??s about me, and some anger at me for yet again, delivering my boundary in a harsh manner....NOT this time....my delivery and my motives THIS time I saw growth in me.....I am getting to know me, I am , too, kind and compassionate....yes, very upfront and honest, but a lot softer in my approach b/c I do NOT want to make enemies or do irreparable harm to a soul...I don't want to do or say anything that requires me to do step 9 as best as i can, anyway
THIS time I can honestly say that I did this "OK" i said what i mean.........meant what i said and did NOT say it mean......I showed my sponsor our exchanges and her reply was to "no worries, you did good standing up for you and doing it with dignity and grace.............He needs a meeting, I think"..........I laughed he responded w/anger and accusations and you are right....the outcome is what it is.....I am what i am and I am growing b/c I sincerely want to work my program in an honest way and THIS time I can say, "good on me" I did it humanely......he used me.......never made amends for it.............ok....i stood up for me...did it w/out rancor and yea, firm, but i did not throw character assassinations at him, did not work his inventory, addressed his BEHAVIOUR only and yea, i give me a B+ for this one......one remark i made was a bit snarky and i shared it w/you all, but sponsor said that I still did not abuse him like he abused me...........so i am good
Thank you for your take b/c now i can say that i handled this ok....it still hurts, b/c we were friends, but I will get over it soon enough.....i had begun detachment from him awhile ago......i think the only reason why i let it go on as long as i did as #1, i am recovering coda and #2, we did share some very good history.......but the operative or key word is HISTORY and i shall place him in the museum with the rest of the past................HUGSSSS
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
To me, that's the most important thing, N. That you are happy with your response and that you put principles (yours) above personalities. There are those who would disagree with the way I interact in relationships with others and I know in the end that its me who has to live with what I do and say, so its me who has to decide what that will be. Sounds like that is what you did?
To me, that's the most important thing, N. That you are happy with your response and that you put principles (yours) above personalities. There are those who would disagree with the way I interact in relationships with others and I know in the end that its me who has to live with what I do and say, so its me who has to decide what that will be. Sounds like that is what you did?
this is a beautiful summation of what i felt...what i did...and how i feel about me and what i did....i left EVERY window open for the other to "lets work this out" but my window sill is covered with the mouse doo doo of rancor, accusations, excuses.....NOT a nurturing attitude towards and old friendship.....its either my fault or someone/thing elses fault........oh well......u said it beautifully here...EXACTLY what i feel about me and what i did.............thankyou xoxo
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Sounds like he is mad that his free counsel has ended...bless and release, N
you know, I agree 100%.........he knows hes wrong.....and yea, came at me w/ blaming, shaming, accused me of guilt tripping and manipulating him???? all b/c i wanted to move on and not be used??? LOL.....I think you hit it girlfriend............and oh yea, i actually did give him a "good luck on your journey" and i meant it....i don't hate him, i thank him for all the previous good stuff we learned together, but its time to release.....and i did........... Yep...and I did it without being mean........
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
All we can do is our best and trust no matter what the outcome is, our HP can use it for our good and the good of the others. Be at peace, sister. 