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I get a call this afternoon. My son got the crap beat out of him and the counselor said he was not to blame. He was put into detention for his own safety and will be moved when they find him somewhere to go. OK now I can only see him behind glass because HE DID NOTHING WRONG......he is isolated because he did nothing wrong....he will be 3 hours away from here ( Florence Prison ) because he did nothing wrong. That I'm pissed, upset and crying.
My so sits on his A** all day and does nothing. Agreement he was to take care of the house. I said something and he went into a rage. I told him to get a job then and get off his a**. OK.....he's pissed now and I'm hurt.
Now I have to be at a fricking hospital tomorrow morning and have not one person to take me. If I drive myself the hospital might not do the surgery if I don't have a body there with me......or will they not think about it until it's over and nothing they could do and I can sit there until I feel better or whatever I don't really care right now.
Now SO just said he will take me because he doesn't want to see me go though this right now......just now while I'm writing this. Now what do I do...I guess kiss butt until its over because I really want this done and over with.
I bring this all on myself sticking with this man but I can't get strong enough to make a forever change.
Now I'm sad, upset, weepie, and anxious all in one big package.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Just hugs Cathy. That's a lot and pre-surgery nerves can't be helping. Probably not a good time to make a forever change anyway?
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending prayers.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hugs Cathy, .. I'm sorry you are dealing with all this at once. I don't know what your circle of support is however is there someone else who can take you? Sending prayers and support your way, hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I'm really sorry (((cathy))) about what happened to your son and the result having an affect on you in so many ways that are making you sad right now. Good to type this junk out and release it I find. I know you're angry right now about all of this. It's so unjust that your son being moved farther away but maybe it's a safer place. If so, it could be worth it. I'll keep good thoughts for you for your surgery and we'll be praying for you here. Any kind of surgery feels scary but think of it as just a temporary surrender and then you can go back to being your feisty self again. It was nice of your significant other to say he'll take you. Accepting it means you don't have to worry about how you'll manage tomorrow morning. You can always make changes later. Hope you get some good rest tonight. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
A lot of terrible and hard stuff going on all at once. This sounds like a time to do it less than one day at a time -- maybe six hours at a time. Except getting someone to take you in to the hospital, whether it's your cranky partner or someone else. As for the rest ... sometimes I take comfort in Scarlett O'Hara's words: "I'll think about that ... tomorrow." I'm glad your son is safe and was not hurt worse. Hang in there.
Cathy. Cripe! I'm sorry. I get the pissed. I get the scared. I get the "get off your a**" and do something." This is so much happening all at once. Might there be a fellowship member you could ask to take you to the hospital and stay with you for the surgery, recoup and return? I hope so.
I get it at the same time that I get that you know alternatives to it also. Been there and done that and can still remember the lessons such as I can restart my screwed day anytime I want to and the 3 Cees which work almost everywhere under most condition and the one that use to raise my pulse rate and blood pressure, "Hurry go get your gratitude journal". I use to love a good meltdown until I learned to love my peace of mind and serenity much more...Your SO sounds like an asset and the lock down for your son also to keep his butt in one piece. He's in prison which is and has an entirely different value system than the outside. People in prison are most normally abnormal and regardless of what your son's part in it is or was keeping him safe is a major part of the "public safety" plan. You first Cathy...now is "you first time" what do you have to do to get your needs met and who is willing to help you get that done...SO, Sponsor, MIP ??? Sending prayers (((((hugs)))))
Oh hugs, Cathy!!! If you need a ride, just call me. Or I could pick you up at the hospital and get you home! I'm so sorry, that you are having a tough day. It's one minute at a time sometimes, isn't it? Sending you lots of support and hugs today!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Sorry Cathy all of this is happening, I remember you have been through worse, I know you can get through this too. Chin up, keep your program "on". Take care of yourself right now. You have every right to be pissed, there will be time to deal with these issues AFTER you take care of yourself first..... Thinking of you and sending up prayers.
((((((((Hugs))))))))) Cathy,
I'm not surprised you are feeling all this - it is a lot to have on your plate. I hope the hospital visit goes well, will be good to get that done. One step at a time. Sending prayers for you and your son.
Thank you so much for the needed support. You all make my morning. I'm up getting ready to leave soon. Little anxious now about not being able to get around for a while but a friend suggested I get my office chair and sit and push myself around so I don't have to use the crutches so much because they suck and hurt your arms using them.
Be back soon.... Hugs
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Sorry to hear about your son Cathy, it may be part of his path and his learning. When my son was attacked it had a powerful impact on him and Im not so sure it was all bad. I hope your operation goes well and take care of yourself.x
Prayers Cathy! Sounds like too much all at once. I know your SO is not a total loser or you would have been gone already - makes it more confusing. I could see that this is the time when you would want to start winding down a little in life and have more peace - not be worried about your son where he is and arguing with your SO. BAH! Serenity shall return. This too will pass.
Prayers, Cathy, for good outcomes. Take good care...
me 2, (((((((((((((((((((Cathy)))))))))))))) right now lets deal with the surgery, sucks about the son being in detention and the SO?? well...maybe after u feel better and can think better, you can make a right choice.....so sorry you got this tossed at you all at once.....but as they say all the time "First things first" and you got your surgery.......as to SO...if it is that bad, u will make right choice when you feel better....I think you would have kicked him to the curb by now if it was that bad....re: Son?? i'm sorry this happened to him, but jail is not fun...stuff happens...he will end up "ok" and at least he is SOBER.....this is just a bad day...this too shall pass.....crap happens and we take the first things first approach and slog through what we can...turn over the rest..................HUGS of support
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Sorry about your son. I also understand the anger at your SO. My AH sits on his a** a lot too. Hasn't worked in 9 months. It's pitiful. But then if I say anything he says I am negative. It's comical really. Try to focus on yourself. Take care.
