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Post Info TOPIC: Dreams...? How to interpret it?


Senior Member

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Dreams...? How to interpret it?


I sometimes get freaked out by dreams.

The other day I dreamed about a friend telling me that the little 4.5 year boy I look after since he was 2months old will die. 

Now, I receive a message from my aunty telling me that since the 1st of September, she has been having horrible dreams about my daughter and I. My daughter will suffer forever and I will end up being extremely unhappy. This aunty has no idea what is going on in our lives right now, I haven't spoken to no one of my family about it. Only two very close friends know about my separation and they don't have any contact with my family.



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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.



~*Service Worker*~

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 hmmm I am round steps 10, 11 and 12... letting go of some old hurts... dreams play a part in this... my dreams tell me about me- very little or nothing about other people... just my view of other people, and things... smile.



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  



~*Service Worker*~

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You are going through profound loss / change right now. Something you thought would last forever (your marriage) is ending. Hence, it's coming into your dreams and maybe filtering across to other even when you don't talk that much about it.

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~*Service Worker*~

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The people in our dreams usually represent some part of ourselves that might be trying to get our attention? I don't generally remember my dreams and when I do, they are significant and really don't make any sense at first. As an example, when I was 30 I remember awakening with my dream still very clear in my mind. I had been trying to decide where to buy a gas grill - either from a local department store or the Gas Company. I just let go of trying to figure it out and a question came to my mind: "Is this what my life has come to? Wrestling with where to buy the next "thing?" It was the first step to realizing that the way I was living was not the way I wanted to continue living. Within about 4 months of that time, I locked my x out of the house and was separated from him. Within a few months of that, I filed for divorce. None of that dream had anything directly to do with the next steps that were right for me to take and yet it was a big wake up call for me, too.

On the subject of 4 year olds:  I love the ages of 3 and 4.  Most children are still awed by life and filled with wonder that they can articulate.  They discover things about themselves that they didn't know and they start asking those why questions that can drive some of us bonkers (and may be the reason the sentence:  "Because I said so" was born?)  They are full of energy and things come out of their mouths that are simple, profound yet highly innocent.  Anything else you can think of about that age that you remember and that you see in this little guy?



-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 20th of September 2014 03:51:44 PM

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

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In my counseling I do a lot of dream therapy. It's not so much who is in the dream. Becuz it is all you, everything in the dream is you. It's more the feeling from the dream.

What I feel is, you are feeling afraid of the future. Your faith in hp needs to be built up. You also may need to do more enjoyable things.

Your aunt is worrying, which is a waste of time.It feels like she is missing a closer connection with family.

She needs to be one on one with her family.

I hope this somehow fits for you. hugs!

I am dreaming about my ex AH a lot lately. It's not like he is in danger. But I have been wondering about him a lot and feel I do need to go see him.I always wanted to support him in his bad last part of his life.

So the desire to check on my ex AH is coming out in my dreams. It is never about him at all. I mean how he is or him being in danger.



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

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~*Service Worker*~

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btw I always pray to hp to please help me to have calm dreams...It ALWAYS works. Also I say my HP's name in my dreams and it stops the dream.....

It also helps not to read scarey things like Stephen King and watch scarey stuff at night....lol lol or eat too much popcorn ugh



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

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I think dreams reflect our memories, problems and emotions. Heck we sleep pretty close to a third of life. The brain is always at work and I feel that when our emotional lives are in overload we take that to sleep with us. No one really knows what the symbolisms in our dreams mean, there are so many different interpretations out there. I think each individual is different and therefore so are their dream symbols.

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 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



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Had such a scary dream last night.

STBX was watching TV with daughter and I was angry for one reason or another, so I get the iron that was cooling off at the table and pressed it against his arm and his face. I did in front of our daughter!
The iron wasn't hot, just a little bit warm and I was happy with myself thinking: "that will teach him to mess up with me", I think my intention was to make him scared.
However he stood up and sat by the table, he had such a shocked look on his face, he couldn't even speak and his eyes were confused and wide open...
Then I looked at him and I could see the iron burnt marks getting stronger on his skin...I panicked inside but on the outside I became very loving and caring and worried about is injuries, started to do 1st aid and was minimising it all, telling him how it was a joke that gone wrong and the burns weren't that bad....

But it was all fake, inside my head I was thinking: "shit, if he call the police and press charges I am in big trouble, must make sure to keep him sweet...

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling awful and scared. Started to analyse the dream and the only explanation I can come up with is perhaps how crazy and distressed my feelings would be if I was to remain with him or if I had no programme. I am not a violent person and was never involved in physical fights and stuff, why dreaming about doing this kind of thing?

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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.



~*Service Worker*~

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I don't know why Luiza but I have some crazy scary violent dreams sometimes too. I once had one that my little brother (who is an A that I love dearly) became a zombie and I had to kill him. It was so awful, I'll never forget it. I've had dreams like that about my A too.
I was so upset by them once I went to my doctor and told him I was afraid that maybe I am secretly a psychopath. He laughed kindly and told me, "I have treated real psychopaths, and they sure don't worry about having violent dreams or go looking for help about it. I've watched the way you interact with your daughter, you are a loving and kind woman who is under a lot of stress and doesn't know how to express her anger and I think that is what the dreams mean but if you are worried, you should talk them out with a psychologist".
I took a lot of comfort in his words and I remember them now when I have weird violent dreams, so I think they are worth repeating to you.
Maybe the anger we can't express in real life sort of releases itself in our dreams?
I don't think it's in any way abnormal, just your inner self venting because your outer self can't?

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)



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Thanks Meliss, your doctor's explanation does make sense to me.

At the moment I am having to swallow pride, listen to BS, let go of BS and keep my head down because STBX is a ticking bomb. I know he is going soon and we will have to keep in touch so better keep the peace. I think I am not angry but frustrated. Maybe I am burying the anger deep inside.

But I believe he is sabotaging me, things are breaking mysteriously, some of my personal things have gone missing...today I was cooking and there was no salt in the kitchen, then he started cooking and the salt appeared...he is keeping the salt in the bedroom with his stuff that he packed already...apparently all the salt dispensers ( we have about 4 of them) are HIS. How many salt dispensers does he need in his shared home? And he is not even moving until the 1st of November.

I must remember to go buy salt tomorrow. I have bought new pots and pans, cutlery, kitchen knifes, plates etc...I didn't know that even the salt was only HIS ffs.





-- Edited by Luiza on Sunday 19th of October 2014 04:19:21 PM

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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.



~*Service Worker*~

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See that sort of stuff..keeping the salt shakers in his room...that would make any rational person angry.
if you are being as zen as you can and not feeling that anger, it makes sense that your subconscious is feeling it for you and letting it out.
I am sort of in the same place, my A's behaviour is SO childish and stupid and selfish while i am dealing with a real crisis of finding a stable home for my child, cleaning up his mess, paying the bills etc. For me, I am not really feeling angry but i keep bursting into hysterical tears without warning. The when they are finished I feel OK again. It has to come out somehow, for you it's coming out in dreams maybe.
We're people, not machines. This kind of abuse has to go somewhere, we have to process it somehow.
Hugs to you and your girl, I am proud of both of us. It's nearly over we are nearly at the start of our new lives!!
Yay!!!

__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)



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Yay!!

__________________

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.



~*Service Worker*~

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Well said melly. I too cry a lot the level of rage /anger i feel scares me
At times. I do not dream of ah thank god. I now see ah with a forked
Tail with horns.

But i have been traumatized and i need to let it out. He does not seem too
Concerned with my mental health. I am strong to a point but i have crossed
Over the line in the last three years of mistreatment by dry ah. My stress levels
are high just going about my business. I am Not capable of taking on any
more or new stress. I will have a meltdown If i can not work thru this
emotional pain i have now. I really wish i could take a leave of absence
From my one job. I am going to call hr to find out my rights on this issue
If needed. I have earned time coming to me.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Yesterday's ODAT reading if you have the reader might be a good one for you to reflect on, Luiza?

Our outer actions don't really matter as much as the inner attitudes and feelings that are ours. To me, it's similar to TiredTonight's story about her co-worker who treated her poorly until TT resigned and then came to her desk and play-acted her concern and willingness to be a support for TT.

I can choose to hurt myself or another in some way like in the case of taking my little one for infancy immunizations or going for flu shots myself. My motive or intent isn't to hurt but to save my child or myself from a worse happening.

If I choose not to act in a mean or damaging way, but inside still feel genuine hostility, superior to or better than another, I am hurting myself or another in ways that don't heal and can continue damage on deeper and deeper levels. People are very sensitive to what is really going on in another person's mind or heart even when their words are soothing or loving. We may not know exactly what another person is thinking or feeling and we never know their motivations, but if we're honest with ourselves, we know who likes us, respects us, cares about us or doesn't.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig

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