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Post Info TOPIC: Little Changes that make it right


~*Service Worker*~

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Little Changes that make it right


Happy Friday Everyone

Over this couple of years it had been my AS I was detaching from and now I'm working on detaching from my SO.  I am taking  it one step/one day at a time.  Well after two weeks I now leave for work without waking him up or bring him coffee...something I have done for 20 years with resentment.  He has to learn to take it upon himself to get up, get ready and get out the door every morning.  At first he missed a day at work and a few times late but I see now he has is phone with him and a alarm set....good for him.  He hasn't said anything so I'm happy about that because in the pass if I was in a hurry and didn't wake him he would be mad at me. 

He knows.....he knows something is up but I'm not going to tell him anything anymore....I will continue with my plan without saying why.....been there done that.

Take care everyone and keep on keeping on

((( hugs )))

PS:   Candle lit and prayer for Jerry F today

 



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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2200
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OOOoooo, that's brave Cathy, I'm glad it is working. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Happy Friday from me too.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1661
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Happy Friday to you as well Cathy. Also glad for you that you have been able to find that detachable peace! I am still working on it but I know I will get there!!

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 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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I am so glad for you. YOU are such a sweetheart and I am so happy to see you doing for you. That is huge growth eh? I have seen you struggle so hard to grow and learn and use your skills. Plus have seen you give so much support on here.

We were so blessed when you found mip. Now you are stuck here! (c:

 



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5075
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Love it cathy, detaching with love works with everyone.x

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 7576
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Love the share, Cathy. Doing only those things that fit you because you want to do them sure helps keep resentment to a minimum. I've learned that if I give to get or to give to "keep the peace" or give because somebody else wants me to do it even when I don't want to do it keeps me tied up in knots or looking for an outcome that usually doesn't come. Giving because it feels right and loving for me to do it - freedom. I love that you are doing what you want to do - letting him get himself up and get his own coffee.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3026
Date:

Thanks everyone.

Hey when Saturday morning comes around and I'm making coffee I will ask if he would like a cup and gladly take it to him. Maybe someday he will ask me and I will be a happy as a clam in a pig pen.

I went back to the foot doctor will no good results to the shots so it's time to take out the nerve giving me hell and not letting me wear shoes. I'm tired of sandals so in the next few weeks they are going take that sucker out and get me pain free. Funny he asked if I wanted to live with it and I said heck no....I have a good 20 years and want to wear a pair of shoes when it rain.....hehe and it's way to hard to go on a hike with flip flops on.

IT"S THE WEEKEND....and I'm going to just do a little cleaning of the house and sit on my behind.......

(((( hugs ))))






__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:

I am glad you can get some relief. And a weekend that is going to be enjoyable and easy for you - wonderful!

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 720
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You are doing good Cathy!!

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Member

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Posts: 23
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I really enjoy those words detachable peace! I am going to remember them.

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Toni Potts


Newbie

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Posts: 2
Date:

cry detachment again, have to keep working it. My AH went out with my son for "a" beer, well came home drunk as a skunk, not surprised, but he tried wake me, so glad I have a couch to sleep on in another room. He is a high functioning AH along with OCPD. He has been sober on and off, and I guess I was getting a bit used to the sober part. I have to be up in 2 hrs for a work function, I am exhausted, this truly always happens when I have something important to do. I had a hard time detaching to sleep. I am very angry. I am very tired. I want to chuck it in. I appreciate the posts, they helped. Well another attempt at sleep, and then to wake up on time! More detachment ahead.



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hopeful777

PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3964
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Sounds like some fine actions in many ways!  Enjoy your sittingaww



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Paula



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1258
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Cathy, I hope the foot surgery works well for you! I'm just amazed at what they can do these days in medicine: take out a nerve?? Wow, that's good to know!

Hope you're having a great weekend. I'm looking forward to it cooling off in the next few weeks. Our forecast is still calling for 101 or so for the next week and the mosquitos around here are loving me so I have to wear repellant. I moved to AZ so that I didn't have to ever wear bug repellant again, LOL!



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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
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