The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We went to a friends for lunch today, and when I arrived I realised, I didn't have my phone with me.
Now I've known this friend for a year or so and when I started going over, I would check my phone constantly. It was usually a Sunday, I had usually been fighting with ABF and I was usually in a state of awful turmoil, far more worried about the drama with HIM than on enjoying lunch and conversation. I'd be wanting to race home because I was worried he'd leave or set the house on fire or I don't know...he usually just slept off his hangover while I worried about crazy nonsense actually.
So it was weird today to realise...my daughter is with me and she is safe and well. So there is not one single emergency in the world that could arise that would require me to have a phone with me. Is A angry with me, is A leaving me, is A trying to send me a message on skype, is A drunk and setting the kitchen on fire, is A squatting in a ditch poking berries up his nose? Even if all of those things were true, there was still no need for me to have my phone at lunch, no fear or worry or sadness or stress. Somewhere along the way, over this past year or so, I lost the fear and worry and obsession. It's horrible to think how consuming it was and how it ruined every occasion.
I like it when I see comparisons like this and I can see how much healing I have done. I was free and happy and able to enjoy nice food and conversation on a sunny day with some good friends. A year ago that was incomprehensible. Woohoo
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
WooHoo is right. The sentence about the A sitting in a ditch pushing berries up his nose - deep chuckle transformed into an outward giggle that awakened my cat, Hannah. Shhhhhhh, says she. Somebody's trying to sleep here. I know. I know, say I, but Melly just said........ and then, even Hannah laughed a little in that special cat way. (((Mel))) Love your lunch out that actually wound up being fun for you and free of drama! Leaving phone home - good, good work!
Your a inspiration to me Mel. If you only knew how much I want what you are going to have hopefully......a peaceful life that your can explore and thrive in.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Good job! I get sick of the attachments people have to their phones. It's so distracting. I left mine home on purpose when I went for a walk this morning. Love to ignore it sometimes. Glad you had a nice lunch without worry.
